Believing caregivers, how do I reconcile that scripture says to put others before me whereas the secular world says put me first?

Smeshque: I love your new avatar. Great choice. Yes, if one doesn't have anything nice to say, then one should not hurt someone else with a tongue full of pebbles. True story.

Psalm 43:5 Why art thou cast down o my soul? Hope ye in God...
It is all a matter of perspective and expectations.
When we look at the big picture, it all looks different.

Caregiving, and losing loved ones, I will always say is are the hardest parts of this earthly journey. It is such an enduring labor of love. Only the strong survive. And our strength does not come from within us, but from above, from the Father of lights. We are weak on our own. With HIM we can do all things.
Even in the midst of caregiving hardships and struggles, amidst the hatefulness of the world, amidst all things good and bad, we must continue to shine so that others may see HIS glory. Don't let the temporal things of this world overshadow our true purpose. There are always going to be struggles, HE said so. There are always going to be mean people who do not care if they are hurtful to us. There is always going to be evil. Until HE comes.
Stay strong in truth and light. HE is the only way to get through all of our troubles and dark despair, HE is the only answer, our only help, our only hope. HE is Jesus the Christ, our Saviour and Lord.

“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.” 
Matthew 5:16

Absolutely Mary, Absolutely!

Mary: The nine Fruits of the Spirits are a guidepost, if you will. They are all wonderful to aspire to be likened to. The Book of Psalms are lovely indeed.

Some humans can be pugnacious. It is not a pretty characteristic to show. Perhaps they're having a very bad day or are on medication. We must learn to not engage in wrath and acrimony, else it beats us down. Humankind should boost one another up, but such is not always the case.
If you stand upright, even if beaten down, you shall show HIM your strength and in doing so, you will be greatly rewarded as a steward of GOD.

But it is good for me to draw near to God: I have put my trust in the Lord GOD, that I may declare all thy works.
Psalms 73:28

Those who do not love the Lord will not help you serve the Lord.

That's true Ll- If they are not for HIM, they will definitely not be for us.

The love Paul expounds in I Corinthians 13 is the love of God, which found its perfectly balanced expression in Jesus Christ. His love was not only contemplative but also outgoing. Because of His love, He went about doing acts of kindness, healing and casting out demons (Acts 10:38). The truth He preached also expressed His love. His love was not merely congeniality; it was patient, enduring and ethical.

Great comment LL.
I always say God's love is a love that is there when you get to where it's needed. I don't know if that makes sense, I cannot always express in words what my heart is saying.
But, I loved your words.

Thank you smeshque.

God initiates our love relationship: We love because he first loved us (1 John 4:19).
God's love is limitless: Your love, Lord, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies (Psalm 36:5).
Fear hinders us from feeling God's love: There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love (1 John 4:18).
When we move toward God, he moves toward us: Come near to God and he will come near to you (James 4:8).
God is love: Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love (1 John 4:8)

It has been much harder for me since returning to work. It seems that before I went back to work, my patience was strengthening and I was managing better.
Now, I am back to struggling with things that I thought were conquered. I have been feeling quite overwhelmed. At first the job was a respite for me, from careproviding. Now it has become another obligation. I have been praying about it and am waiting on the Lord for guidance.
Before returning to work, I had begun to take some me time and refresh. Now it seems there is none of that to be found. I do not want to seem as if I am complaining, just trying to figure some things out. Feeling a little trapped, and am waiting for guidance. There are some people at my job that I feel the Lord might have put me there for. But, then there are people at my home that I know the Lord put me there for. So I guess I am just rambling for the sake of trying to figure it out.
But, by the grace of God go I.


When Jesus says, "He that hath ears to hear, let him hear."

How many of us truly hear? Faith comes by hearing. So if we are truly not hearing God's word, do we truly have faith?
How much do we really listen?
Faith is an action word and if we say we believe, but do not act upon it, do we truly believe?
James says a non working faith is dead.

Much love and prayer to you my fellow Carers

Smeshque: Right now it appears that you are being stretched at both ends, e.g. work and home. IMHO, if you continue on this pattern, you may break. You'll have to ask yourself if the extra paycheck is worth your fatigue, stress, and waiting on the Lord. In my 50s, I would arise for work at 3:00 O'clock in the morning and I was putting in a 70 hour work week, Everything at home was falling by the wayside, e.g. I could no longer do it after a 45-year, full-time career,

I hope everyone is doing well as can be in whatever the situations are for you. Maintaining at least. May God bless you all in this hard and difficult journey.


I will meditate also of all thy work, and talk of thy doings.
Thy way, O God, is in the sanctuary: who is so great a God as our God?
Psalms 77:12-13

Oh, stumbling block, get out of thine way. Amen.

Happy Labor Day to All!!

DDDuck: Happy Labor Day to you as well!

Duck- Happy Belated Labor Day!!



“Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen.” 
Matthew 28:20

I hope everyone is hanging in there and relying on the Lord for His grace and mercy and strength for endurance in these trials of our lives.
Not only relying on Him and asking for help and guidance but offering praise and thanksgiving with the fruits of our lips to our Savior.
Things have been rough these last few months for me, and I know for some of you as well. We are not alone in this journey and we are never given more than we can handle. Of course handling it on our own, we will mess it up, so never forget our help comes from above. May God bless you all in all your needs.

“Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.” 
Matthew 7:12

Before a fireman runs into a burning building, he puts on his gear to protect himself. He would never not put on his gear first. At the fire house, there's a kitchen for nourishment and beds for rest. The point being, as selfless as these individuals are running into burning buildings to save others, they don't do it carelessly.

Granted, that's not a religious analogy. But I find something spiritual in the work our responders do for us when there's a crisis, and it's the analogy my own pastor used when I met with him to discuss the challenges of caregiving.

As he concluded in our discussion that day, your faith shines brightest when you are centered. To be centered you need to nourish your body and your mind properly, and you need to rest. These are not selfish things to do. They are what allow you to do the good work you've been called to do.

I hope that helps. Peace.

Thank you Wubba,
I have been learning that to be true. If I am not taking care of myself I am doing a poor job for anyone else. It is hard to get my mind to do it, but I truly understand it now. We have to take care of ourselves to do our best as you said, and that it's not being selfish. I'm learning.......

Mary was a teenager. Moses had a stutter. David was physically small and weak. All the ‘greats’ were human. All the ‘greats’ endured their modern-day ridicule for not ‘conforming’, but also they fiercely followed the Truth. Nowhere is it stated it was an easy task for them, but we all know without God being their strength, their ‘greatness’ would never have come to be.
We are His hands and feet. Wrinkles, bunions, hangnails. But with God ALL things are possible.
He is with us.

Absoluetly Longhaul.



But unto them which are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God, and the wisdom of God.
Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men; and the weakness of God is stronger than men.
For ye see your calling, brethren, how that not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called:
But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty;
And base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, yea, and things which are not, to bring to nought things that are:
That no flesh should glory in his presence.
1 Corinthians 1:24-29

I am barely hanging on by one thread it seems---out of state funeral, extensive vein treatment, arthritic hip and cold I picked up while getting an exray of the hip because, after all, clinics and hospitals are huge Petri dishes.
The reference to the stumbling block is the vein treatments, which will be many.
In addition, I did a slip and fall in my bath tub. A larger stumbling block.

Hello,
I have thought about this subject myself. As a believer, the scriptures encourage us to love others as we love ourselves...so it seems that we are meant to take care of ourselves as well. Just like the flight attendants instructions are to give yourself H20 first even before a baby, because in order to be able to hold the oxygen up to the baby you have to give yourself some first, or you will pass out and can't help the baby, or anyone else. So it seems - in order to help others- some self care is required. Like if someone is in need and all you have is your rent money- well, you can't risk losing the roof over your own head to meet another person's need. I have over the years developed a personal policy that I never loan money that I can't afford to give away. That way, if they pay me back fine if they don't fine. I don't even care if they don't pay me back, because in my mind it is a gift.
I am in a situation where my Mom's needs are so great that I have little left at the end of every day. I am so tired...I have forgotten what it felt like to have a life of my own and time to do things I want to do. Time with friends ... But I know this is temporary....I know the time I have left with my mom is short ... And reminding myself of this fact makes me pay attention and do the very best for her that I can. No one sees it, or will ever know ...but Jesus, He sees, and He gives us the strength to get up and do it another day. And when Mom passes away.... I can rest, knowing I gave it my best. I am going to miss her so very much. I won't miss the long hours and the work, but I will miss my precious mother so very much. So that is how I cope with the temporary loss of self during this time of my life. I think I will have more peace knowing I cared for her as no one else would. I will be glad that she did not have to die alone or with a stranger. I feel this is a blessing to my life that will help me bear it when she has gone to heaven. I won't grieve her loss in the same way my brother and sister will. So in a way it is giving me a better future spending this special time with my mom. I get very tired and burned out sometimes for sure ... but I know it is what I have been called to do. What I chose to say yes to. I think it is making me a more patient person for sure. I think it makes us stronger too, and ultimately the time spent care giving is not only a loss but a gain of becoming a different sort of person than we would have been otherwise.
Time passes no matter what we are doing... Ultimately if I am in God's will and doing whatever it is He has called me to do....I can't lose out on anything by doing what He wants.
We will lose everything in the end, leave everything and everyone behind...So loss is part of this life . But knowing John 3:16- Jesus said -who ever believes in me will have eternal life-...So as short and temporary as life is here on earth...we have life that lasts for eternity even right now...if we believe in Jesus.... we have a long long long life ahead of us. So just do what you can in the moment to reconnect with yourself ...read a favorite author ...call a friend...write a card to someone ...even if you have to get up an hour early or stay up an hour later....You are the only you. I read the old book Streams in the Desert and find a lot of comfort there...the Psalms help me a lot too. Praying and Praising takes my mind away from the daily grind ....God help us ....because as care givers we need it.

“No one sees it, or will ever know ...but Jesus, He sees, and He gives us the strength to get up and do it another day. “

Amen. Beautifully said.

It's hard this life. The struggles and strife. But in all our woes and peril, let us not forget our true purpose. Our true worth and value. Caregiving can suck the life right out of you. But this is our reality, and sometimes we can forget what our true purpose is and fall into depression or complete feelings of woe and anguish.
Everything we do, we are to do for the glory of our Saviour. That means next time we have to clean up something gross, or our patience is being tested on every side, and we feel like giving up, let's just remember who we are really doing this for.

1 Peter 4:13
But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.

Beautiful, Smeshque, and well said. :)

............Some build their hopes on the ever drifting sand,
Some on their fame, or their treasure, or their land;
Mine’s on a rock that forever will stand,
Jesus, the Rock of Ages...............

Look to Jesus, our Lord and Saviour in times of trouble, turmoil and trials and HE will see you through every single time. HE never wavers.