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I completely understand your feelings. It comforts me to pray also. Through the difficult times I focus on my mindset. Positive thoughts are powerful.

In many situations that arise during the day, I simply say, "It could be worse" then I think of something way worse than the moment, sometimes I end up lol.
Hang in there, we are all in a temporary situation for now.
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Been a rough day, I am sure not just for me, but for some of you. But we made it through hallelujah!



Is any among you afflicted? let him pray. Is any merry? let him sing psalms.
James 5:13 .
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Yes! We made it. And God will be there again tomorrow to walk for us when we cannot walk, to give when we feel there is nothing left, and to refill our strength tank when we are running low :)

May we all get a restful night!
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The early morning shall come too soon for me. Please pray! Thank you!
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praying all goes well LL
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Dear Llama, the early morning will also bring fresh and renewed faith and trust in God, who will lovingly cover you with His immense love and protection. Soon you will be telling us all is over and went great! A hug!!
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Rosses: The early morning is NOT my friend. When living with my late mother and I'd NO sleep, she would fling the draperies open! Good grief~😨 I didn't need to see that strong sunlight with such bleary eyes!
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Smeshque: Thank you.
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Llama, I referred to the early morning as your beginning step towards health, as I thought your surgery was today; therefore I hoped it was filled with hope and strong faith.
And if your surgery was in fact today, truly pray all went well! The fact you are here I think means it went well :)
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I talk a lot on here about my mom and the dysfunction in her side of the family (and my relationship with her). I think I've gotten pretty good at detaching but it still gets to me sometimes.

Earlier I had one of those moments. I really don't know why, but I started crying, just about mom, her situation, mine, etc.

I spent the day with mom taking her to get a scan that her doctor ordered (a LONG ordeal!), and she is not easy to deal with, believe me. Most of the time I struggle to not get irritable and aggravated because my mom is very selfish and makes things difficult. She has always been this way, but with mental illness and dementia is magnified.

Lately at her senior living facility she has been isolating in her room, not wanting to join activities, paranoid, etc. I've written quite a bit about it on the Dysfunctional Families thread. Anyway, sometimes I just get sad at the way that my mom is so miserable all the time. A lot of my life I tried to make her happy. I will say she hasn't had an easy life. I learned over time that I'm not responsible for her overall happiness yet so badly I wish I could wave a wand so that for once in her life she would be happy and be able to enjoy the good things, the fun things.

I found out she did go play Yahtzhee with some other people last night, and she signed up to ride the bus to go look at Christmas lights this evening, so that's a big plus compared to how things have been. I hope she did end up going.

I prayed earlier and asked God to put His arms around mom so that she could truly feel His love, and I pray a lot for her peace and ultimately happiness if it's possible. I know He has helped me walk through this too. Maybe the tears came because I needed to feel them.

Anyway, I just wanted to share. I know He is with us even in the valleys, and I find comfort knowing that we don't walk through any of it alone. Blessings to all of you and will say a prayer for everyone here tonight as well.
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Dear Frazzled (HUGS),
You are doing a good job. I understand those moments also when the tears come. But, remember it is cleansing.
I know it is so difficult for each of us in similar and different ways, I am so glad that we can share with one another. With others who understand why we feel the things we feel and why we get so "crazy" at times.
Dear friend, you are a very strong person, and the fact that you continue on each day, trying and not giving up and knowing that you and we are not alone, and that God is in control, is strength in itself.
You are doing good, even though sometimes it feels like we are failing at it all. We keep trying, keep loving the best we can and most importantly praying.
It is good that you are praying for your mom, because you know we cannot be everything to them and we cannot deliver the endless love and patience and we cannot fix them or give them internal happiness, But the Lord Jesus can if it's HIS will.
I too will keep you and your Mom in my prayers.
I hope some of this makes sense. Sometimes it sounds good in your head and when you try and express it, it doesn't always come out right.
But, I hope you can feel the love I am trying to send you. Hang in there.
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Rosses: My surgery was 7:00 A. M. December 12. Today I awoke with a horrible migraine...the worst one IN YEARS. The pain medicine that they gave me (not for migraine but I had to use it as one) finally abated the migraine.
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Thank you, Smeshque, for your kind and uplifting words, and for the prayers. It is so true what you said, that we cannot deliver the endless love and patience, or fix their pain or internal unrest, but He is able, either in this life or the next. It does seem a long and hard road sometimes, but I'm so grateful to be able to share on this site among like-minded friends who understand.

Today was a better day, after the long day yesterday. Just trying to get caught up on some other things around here that need doing before Christmas gets here.

Hugs to you too, hope you have a good night and will keep you in my prayers, as well as your mom.
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Frazzled-so glad today was better. Try and enjoy the Holiday as much as possible. I will keep you in my prayers and I thank you for the prayers also.

It is wonderful that we have a place to share in this most difficult journey.




Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Hebrews 12:2
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We are all wounded,
from the battles of life
we all carry with us
scars from the strife.

We have all suffered,
the pain of depression
each of us has felt
the sting of rejection.

We are all wounded,
damaged in some way
we all carry with us
the hurts of yesterday.

We all need healing,
from the harm done
we all need someone
to whom we can run.

We are all wounded,
in need of comforting
we all need Jesus . . .
to ease our suffering!

~~~~~~~~Deborah Ann Belka



Isaiah 51:12
“I, even I, am he
 that comforteth you:”
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Smeshque: Amen to that!
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Rosses: Did you not get to read my post? Yes, thank you; I did understand your analogy. I am doing some better.
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Frazzled: So sorry about dysfunction in your family. Giving you a big hug. I know dysfunction through my husband, who suffered a horrible upbringing. Alcoholic dad & VERY MENTALLY ILL mother! All 6 kids suffered! If you didn't eat your veggies-they got placed atop your head by mom-in-law. I never met her and if I had, I would have tried to help her.☺😨
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Smesque, you have given yourself your answer - "I spend a lot of time in prayer and in the word, that is the only way I have the strength to do this". When we go through trials, as man has done since the beginning of time (look at Paul's suffering), God gives us his gift of comfort. I have realised that there is lesson to most difficult times that we endure, for me, dealing with and looking after my mom in law, it was the lesson of patience, and if we look for what God is trying to teach us through what we are enduring, then we find that instead of focussing on the difficulty itself, which is natural for all of us, then we actually swing it around to thankfulness for the lesson that God has given us. There is a further gift that God gives us, and that is the gift of comfort to others in sharing our experiences.

I think that we do all have a bit of the struggle that you are going through, but we need to try to keep in mind that this is temporary, keep thinking about the lesson that God is giving us, stay focussed on Him, and how He intended for us to live in this world, not how society does.
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Thank you Sharon.
Very well put. :)
I am trying to do exactly that. In seeing things that way I have found more endurance and more patience comes when it gets worked.
Patience is like a muscle, the more it gets worked the stronger it becomes.
I also strive to live in service to HIM, and not society.
Thank you for sharing, your words are lovely.
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My patience "muscle" still needs a bit more exercise - that is my contstant battle (and lesson), so if you have any tips for me on this, they'd be most welcomed :).
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My patience also truly hurts a lot. But this is what I think about when I start hurting. I say over and over again to myself, "Don't grow weary in well doing."
And I think how I truly would not want God to lose His patience with me, and I am sure that my behavior and attitude at times are not pleasing to Him. Yet he still loves me and is patient with me, and allows me time to do better.
Sometimes I just have to try and sneak off for a few moments, get on my knees and cry to Him. Then I keep in mind He is helping me and I can with His help do this.
I don't know if we as humans can truly ever perfect the art of patience. But, from experience I truly know it gets better with much practice, controlling the tongue and just keeping in mind 1 Corinthians 13. I have memorized it to say to myself also in moments of weakness.
I just think the more we fill ourselves with His word, the more good that will come out of us and as we grow we strengthen.
I am not sure if this is helpful, just trying to convey what I have learned and am still learning and will always be learning.
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Smeshque, thank you, yes that is most helpful, and you are so right in saying that we should never "grow weary in well doing" - imagine if the whole world lived by that and 1 Corinthians 13, oh what a beautiful world it would be!

God bless you.....
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The devil will try to get us riled up as he is working 24/7 so when weary, saying "Cast out devil" helps.
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Smeshque, your answer is so full of truth! And I agree I don’t think human beings have the capacity to perfect the art of patience, but we can do it all through Him, who constantly strengthens us, guides us and loves us!!

May He bless us and help us be a good representation of His infinitely patient love!
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I am having such a rough time right now. My faith in the Lord is not slacking, but that doesn't mean each day is filled with joy and is a bed of roses. I have spent the last two days having to get off and have a good cry, much like now. I do not know if it is the time of year, or I am losing my mind, or a "mid life crises". But I feel like I did the day I sought out in desperation this site, which I was so blessed and still am to have come across. I have lost all interest in anything I have normally been interested in. I am just getting through each day. Now, I understand that all things happen for a reason, and I am by God's grace going to get through whatever this is, to see the reason or the learning or the growing that I am to do, whatever it be. I am just feeling blah! I don't know, I just needed to "speak" amongst others who at times feel much the same.
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(((HUGS))), Smeshque, could it be that you're feeling overwhelmed? It sounds like family responsibilities, this being a rough time of year, school work, etc could all just be getting to you. The holidays can be a very stressful time for anyone, but I think for caregivers and especially if you've lost loved ones around this time of the year it's doubly hard. Do something nice for yourself and try and take a break whenever you can.

I understand how you feel. I have days like that too, where I just get overwhelmed, by all that is going on or by emotions I am feeling or both. Usually getting some rest and taking it easy a little bit helps me to get my bearings back, and having a good cry too helps sometimes. As much as I hate to cry, it can be a good and much needed catharsis.

One of my favorite Bible passages is Matthew 11:28-30 "Come to me all you that labour and are heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls; For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." I've had to lean on His strength many, many times when I felt I just could not take one more step. Yet He is always faithful to get me through every day.
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Dear Smeshque,

Roses bed? How about a Fakir’s nails bed instead as an appropriate description of our life some days?! Right? I feel the nails too!!
I understand, fully, how you feel. I have been having similar feelings lately (a very prolonged “lately”, I must say). I just wish I cried, I think crying is therapeutic Smeshque. My need to be strong has extended to everything in my life, so I rarely cry for a valid reason...now give me a documentary about poverty in the world, or abandoned or mistreated puppies...and I will be crying rivers!! - Trying to lighten up the subject and hopefully make you smile 😊-.

I think that since we have the blessing of our faith, our overall comprehension of the situation and what we should do or not do according to our principles and the love in our hearts is clear, what we struggle with is the day to day execution, because the reality of our challenges unavoidably is there to kind of sabotage our life. So, I believe part of the solution is exactly in the day to day. Whatever the overall cause is (this special time of the year, or a mid life crisis, or the load getting too heavy...no, you are not losing your mind) what matters is what can be adjusted, fine tuned, in the day to day. Like we have heard many times, everybody needs an incentive to get up and keep going.

Maybe the answer lays there. Looking for something that just thinking of it makes us smile. In my case, it could be for example getting up and smelling the freshness of the crisp air, planning to make an special dish while listening to music! Or being able to go out and get a coffee by myself at a coffee shop, or a new book (or an oldie but goodie!;), or dreaming of my furniture designing, etc...it may sound silly, but all that helps to put an smile on my face and give another purpose to my days, aside from being a caregiver.

Do you think that may help the situation a little for you as well? Sometimes it is not about drastic changes, which many times are not possible- and rather it is about small daily changes or reasoning to feel a little more at peace and a little happier in the midst of our challenges and sometimes fakir’s like life! ;)

Sincerely hope these rough days pass and get better. It all shall pass! With faith and a little enthusiasm, it all shall pass!! :-)
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Occupy until He returns.
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Thank you Frazzled and Send. I am sorry was having a moment of weakness. Thank you for your care.
I think it is a combination of trying so hard to love my Mom extra for the love that she is missing. Logically I know that I cannot fill that void, only the Lord can. But my heart hurts so much for her.I know that these things are for to draw us nearer the Lord and I dare not hinder that for her. But it still makes me so sad what she is going through.
Secondly, I think it also has to do with how excited I got about going back to school etc, But after taking a few classes, I can see how it is not going to work right now, because of my other duties and responsibilities. So now I am back to square one with finding respite and figuring out what to do with myself, since I can't do what I intended.
Thirdly, could be Birthday blues. I am a planner and every goal I had set to be achieved by my birthday has failed. Now I know I cannot control life, but I couldn't get myself back enough to get these things done. I felt restricted within myself this last year, like I was being held in place, not to move. And that is how I feel now as if I am being held in this spot and even though I plan, desire, and begin, it all just seems to fail or become less important than other things.
Maybe I am just meant to do what is set before me and do it well, nothing more and nothing less.

Smeshque Occupying :)
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