Did Hospice rush your loved ones death?

That is why I am so upset at the medical staff. There was no reason for what they did. They knew better it was never a mistake contrary to what I want to believe. What they did took her life.

My deep condolences to you flowgo. We believe that my mother was drugged to death also with the combo of Oxycodone & Ativan. Although it may have helped to ease the pain, we believe that she was prescribed too much for her little body to handle as well as her not having enough nutrients in her body due to her not being able to eat. If you're not eating the drugs are going to take an even deeper effect & will shut down your respiratory system quickly. We believe there had to be a better way to treat the sick & elderly as opposed to plying them with hard core drugs & rushing their death. I bear the guilt of not recognizing what was happening due to being overwhelmed by my mother's sudden decline. I will carry this guilt with me always. 😞

Veronica91 My mom had a skin fungal infection that she got from hospital when she came in for the elective procedure originally. Before that she had not been to the hospital but a few times like when she had her tonsils out as a child. I had talked to the doctor that had told me that he diagnosed the hospital skin hospital infection when she first got it. It was never treated not even with fungal cream, nothing.Some doctor gave her prednisone which does not help a fungal infection. It just made it worse. She was just very neglected even by her own doctor. Her own family doctor even said she did not know what the infection was on her skin and also neglected it like it was nothing.She suddenly told me that my mom had a disease that ended up on the death certificate. It was so very strange why she would have purposelessly mis diagnosed my mom. I was absolutely just flabbergasted. This was her doctor that she and I trusted. I told the doctor that had done the procedure about my mom's doctor suddenly diagnosing her with this disease. He said she did not have that disease but at the end he put it on her death certificate. That disease and the others that they said she had were all on the original death certificate.The real reason of death was put on after the investigation. All those diseases listed made it look like she was at the end of her rope,especially when they said end stages. Why and how could they get away with such manipulation. It was horrible.She had to come back to the hospital because of complications of all the overdoses.
The infection finally got so bad from never being treated. She was saved by a good doctor though. She was still unconscious from the original drug overdose, but her skin healed up for the first time after just two days of treatment. She had actually been sent to icu because of the overdose when the infection got bad. She was getting as much adivan cocktails as the staff wanted to give her while she was unconscious from the original overdosing. Then they were saying she was having stroke like symptoms, seriously, what do they expect. All the nurses had to do was call out dnr and adivan and they would rush it over to her. When I saw that I was shocked. The nurse was a little frazzled and surprised to see me so soon. She did not expect me to come in at that time. I was supposed to have still been waiting for them to set her up in the icu. She told me with a little nervous voice and acted somewhat ashamed, that I could say no to the advain. I told her will yeah she is unconscious and she is in here for an overdose. She just gave me an uncomfortable smile and that was that. This was not the first hospital that this happened in. The exact thing happened for the exact reason at the original hospital. It was on her chart that she could not have the sedatives and I explained it the staff and mom said no too, but I walked out for a second to run to the pharmacy and when I came back she was drugged into a coma. I also looked at them in shock and they also told me in the same way that the other nurse told me that I could say no to the drugs. This was also while she was recovering from a previous drug overdose. My mom never had time to recover before she would be overdosed again.She could not tolerate it but then again who could tolerate that much deadly drugs. It almost killed her on other occasions. She must have been so weakened from the overdoses over and over again. Even though she was unconscious she was getting much better after the infection got so bad.Her skin had cleared for the first time during this proper treatment that she got for 2 days in the hospital. Her vitals came back to normal but she still needed to be treated.
She was then transferred back to the hospital that did her procedure. This happened to be the same hospital that would not treat her for this infection when it was still a skin infection, even though it had been diagnosed. Some how we thought that they would treat it. All records had been transferred over to this hospital explaining the treatment and what she was diagnosed with etc all the details and the nurse had also been told what my mom had. The nurse knew of the treatment and knew that it had to be continued at least for two weeks to a year. I explained it to her but she knew already she had some knowledge about this. They instead treated it with antibiotics which will only make the infection worse. As soon as this hospital took over with the antibiotics the infection on the skin came back and she started going down hill. In the charts it said that there was a meeting of doctors who decided because of her age she did not deserve the treatment maybe not in those words but if you read between the lines you would see. They also made up that she was terminal and only had less than six months to live.Since she was elder and unconscious they were able to say that one of the things she was dying from was end stages of alzheimer's and many other things that elders can get. all of them the investigators found out to be wrong. It is amazing how well the medical staff was able to manipulate everything to get what they wanted. At the very end she swelled up cause she was dying like at the other hospital before she was treated. When that happened hospice took her off of piccline food and gave her as much insulin as they wanted to. The other hospital was always carefully monitoring her insulin level.The good staff at the other hospital said that even though she was on the picc line that she still never needed any insulin. So she was not given any. They did right by her.When she was bloating up and her body was shutting down they not only kept the antibiotics going and still would not give her the anti fungal meds they actually put the needle in her neck to make sure she would get enough antibiotics as if she was not getting enough to kill her. The nurses knew her history from the other hospital and I had also explained it and they knew of the proper treatment. If I was in that position I would definitely not use that antibotic on someone with that serious of a fungal infection. They even knew better. Since they knew better I thought they would do right by her but I was so wrong and really I should have called 911 at the beginning. I did not protect her enough. I dont know if I could have done anything to get them to listen cause they always did as they wanted to no matter how much I protested and I was afraid that they would just call security on me if I complained too much. It was all so unbelievable. I felt like I had no other choice but to trust them and that was very wrong. There just has to be laws in place and reinforced. Euthanasia of any form is not allowed in this state but they are getting away with it cause no one wants to deal with it.It is just easier to sweep it under the carpet. When my lawyer( who was also a medical doctor) went over the medical records he also did not want to deal with euthanasia especially with an elder. He knew it was done but he did not believe in it himself. He worked in one of the hospitals that she was in. I just don't know how anyone can just euthanize a real human being like they are a dog and then to top it all off a healthy human being. WTH are sickos like this working in the medical field. I am usually a pushover when it comes to punishment, but in this situation these monsters deserve punishment like prison time. An example needs to be set so monsters can not get away with these kinds of things. I have not even spoke of all the abuse that took place by medical staff this is just some of it.It is just does not feel real how this can happen with ones that you are supposed to be able to trust. I wonder how many times this happens where the family is unaware what happened. I knew because she was healthy and I knew my mom well.

My Aunt's doctor put her on hospice. She was not terminal, just elderly. I fired them after a day. My Aunt was having a delirium due to overmedication and she came right out of it after the meds were stopped. I did a little investigating.
Medicare pays hospice 100% of costs of care. HMOs save a lot of money not treating elderly in the emergency room or the hospital because they don't have to accept Medicare payments which are far below private pay. From their perspective It pays to put elders on hospice. Most HMOs have an in-house hospice. In the assisted living facility where my Aunt lived, I was asked every so often to place her on hospice. I don't know what their motivation was, but my Aunt was having a choking episode, turning blue and the facility nurse called me and asked me what I wanted to do. I said take her to the hospital, but that didn't happen until I had the doctor give the order.(she coughed up a wad of phlegm and was fine). At the hospital, I was told by the RN that the EMTs had told him the facility was trying to force hospice for my Aunt, by not calling for help. This was outrageous.
I moved my Aunt, and the new facility only calls hospice when the patient is in a serious decline, has stopped eating and is withdrawing from the world. In other words, days from death. My Aunt is in good health, still eats heartily, loves to do things and is happy to enjoy her time with family and friends. I will protect her life until she is ready to go and that is not having a problem with making peace. It's respecting her life until it's over.
I have heard many times that even if patients are coherent, eating and enjoying life, they are drugged and given meds to "ease their breathing". No, to depress their breathing until they die. . It sounds so harsh, but I've heard these stories from friends who have lost parents for years. If you haven't been through it before, you trust medical professionals, and you don't realize what is happening until it dawns on you how awful it is. Caregivers suffer horribly when this happens to a loved one. We arent' given enough information about what is really going on. We all want a peaceful death for our family, even if it's rare.
We need to know more about what we can demand ethically from our medical providers. I sure want to know where the lines are. When my doctor gave the order to move my Aunt to memory care, he gave them a list of all the orders she would need as a dying person. He told me to stop all medical care. I didn't. She will be monitored and cared for and kept comfy until she's ready to go. Just not with that doctor.

dogabone you are cruel to talk the way you did to someone in such pain. you are an unfeeling person and know it all . hospice can be terrible. it depends who you get. they over medicate all the time. my husband is dying of cancer. and when they wanted to give him a blood transfusion and kidney cath I said no and took him home. he has almost died twice with to many meds. and the wrong ones together, sometimes it is more beneficial if they die. they make quite a bit running around setting up funeral arrangements and always tell you be sure to call us first if he dies., its always call us first. they worry to much about there money. when they spend 15 minutes taking temp, and blood pressure and get a whopping amount of money for each visit dont kid your self. so it all depends on who you get, they will also take control of your house and dont even ask to use your bathrooms or kitchen. I have a good hospice person now. but watch my hubby close on what they give him

My MIL has been on hospice for 20 months. No one is trying to kill her. She quit walking and getting out of bed. Put up a huge fuss no matter what I did. Hospice came in and help me to bathe this huge woman. They provide diapers etc. I've never been forced to medicate her - ever. But when she gets wild and crazy (hitting, biting) I will give her meds to calm her down. She still eats and drinks and swears a lot. If hospice was trying to kill her.................it's been 20 months.................... They have really helped me and I'm grateful for their assistance.

Marialake, Thank you for sharing your experience. Count me among the grateful ones and God bless you and MIL on your journey. 20 months is a long time.

It's good to hear some real life stories that are different from the OP. Everyone's stories are not the same just as everyone's death experience of their loved one is not the same. I'd never discourage someone from at least checking out their local hospice. They were a godsend to my family as well.

I must add that my sweet husband also received hospice care. He had a vicious experience with cancer. His pain was relentless and nothing helped - it was traumatic for him and I - and our kids. Our oncologist told us to get hospice - there was nothing more he could do and Bill's pain was awful. Hospice was unable to stop that "freight train pain" but they sure helped me and the kids. I adored my husband and would do anything for him. But the cancer was torturing him mercilessly. A great, wonderful, kind, awesome man. I would not force him to endure more. Hospice treated his pain as best they could and he still lingered for another long and painful 7 weeks. God bless him. His final days were spent at the in-house hospice. I lived there with him. Slept in his bed with him. Hospice people catered to him and to me too. I was a mess and they embraced me. I adored Bill and still do. I still feel married - he didn't divorce me, he died!! Now it is time to care for his mother............arrgh. She's totally not like him. But hospice is helping me. My kids help - but my goodness, they have babies to take care of and jobs to do. Hospice helps me and takes the pressure of my kids. They've had enough heartbreak - sure don't want to see their mom crash and burn. lol Most days, I ask the Good Lord, "why is it that instead of wonderful Bill.............I have his vindictive mother in my living room???" Well, because that's the story that God wants me to live for now. Was Bill worth it? A million times worth it. The best guy ever. Ever.
Thanks for listening all. He's been dead for 5 years and I still miss him in every single corner of my life.

Marialake My dad also was the best man and family man ever. He also passed from cancer and was also in a whole lot of pain. hospice came to our house and helped him and my mom. It was a long time ago. The cancer took him not the hospice. He still wanted to live life watch us get our first job see his grandchildren etc etc It was so difficult when his life was cut so short.That disease took him, not evil medical staff like the way my mom was taken from us. My dad got to die and actually without any help from hospice. That is not real common though.From the comments just on here hospice has pushed people in to death. I have talked to people and read many comment on the web about hospice rushing people to their deaths.That is so wrong cause people deserve to die when they are ready not because they are pushed into it. Now they are doing horrible things and taking perfectly fine elders and putting them in hospice to kill them like they did with my mom. They started killing her in the hospital first. She was also the best mom and wife and grandma and aunt etc etc like my dad. I still cant even believe that I have to talk about her in the past this long after they took her life.. It was so difficult when my dad and grandma and other loved ones pass but my mom was the hardest cause her life was taken just because she was an elder. She should still be here today if it weren't for medical staff stealing her away from us.

Marialake, Awwww, Your Bill is smiling down from Heaven. You did good girl, and took care of him as the best you could. This stuff is not for sissies!

My dear dad has been gone almost five years. He died in a hospice house and I would'nt change anything. They taught me how to moisten his lips with a q-tip when he couldn't take liquids any more. Hospice does more good than harm.

Windytown, I don't think you have to be labeled a sissy if a person feels that Hospice was not right for them. I am thrilled that Hospice was able to help many others but in my case they really did over-medicate my mother. Just because someone may have had a bad experience with Hospice for their loved one, does not mean that we were not tough enough to withstand what was happening to our loved ones. Not trying to start a debate, just giving my honest opinion. I am having a tough time dealing with my mom's death & it hurts even more when someone tries to minimize the reasons for my pain however intentionally or otherwise. Please try to be more considerate for the people who had a bad experience with Hospice. We are truly not making up what transpired through our painful journey in dealing with watching our loved ones deteriorate in front of our eyes 😂

Darlove was it a not for profit hospice or not? And go people think this makes s difference?

Do, not go, sorry

I know cancer is extremely difficult to deal with. if hospice is helpful and caring and willing to not hurt the patient with deadly drugs or any other ways then that would be a good experience. The hospice that took care of my dad in our home was good. My mom was put in hospice strictly because of her age. They did not want to be bothered to finish treating her hospital fungal skin infection that had become bad because of no treatment.The treatment was started in another hospital but not continued,not only not continued but deadly treatment was used instead of what she needed.It was not just hospice but the hospital participated in the crime also.They all knew better when they treated her with a deadly treatment. She was already comatose from the last drugging, so they decided to take her life instead of simply treating her for a non terminal infection. I found out the way she got into hospice was by them lying about her having all kinds of end stages of many terminal illnesses that she never even had.It was absolutely shocking how cruel they were.

Twinflower1 You know what is really sad if they are very sensitive to it not just from being elderly but with a sensitivity they can really develop a lot of complications from it and end up in the hospital where they are drugged into a coma again. It is so viscous. If they are in the hospital then they are costing too much and need to be put in hospice.It does not seem elders are allowed to be treated in the hospital even if they were sick from something the hospital did to them.They would rather have them in hospice to kill them if they cant kill them in the hospital. That is why laws have to changed cause this should not be acceptable.

I chose pallative care over hospoce care for my mother with a chronic condition. She was medicated with morphine for comfort. Her death was not medicine induced, but by natural cause with her dignity intact and never a loss of quality of life.

DarLove, My comment that this is not for sissies was not directed at people who don't like hospice. If you read it again, perhaps you'll get my gist that this dying business all the way around is not for sissies. It's hard for everyone. It certainly wasn't meant personally. I understand your feelings are really raw right now, so I understand. I was a living raw nerve right after my dad died. A sappy song in the grocery store had me reduced to a puddle of tears.

I'm sorry my comment made you feel bad. It certainly wasn't intended that way. I don't want to hurt anyone.

Windytown, thanks for clearing this up for me. It is very raw and perhaps I am being over sensitive. I just miss my mom a lot 😟

Hugs to you DarLove, I still miss my dad a lot these years later. It's still so fresh for you. I don't envy where you're at right now. It is unbelievably painful, especially the first year. Just allow yourself to be and to cry whenever you feel like it. It will get easier some day in the future though I'm sure it doesn't feel that way now. The world will always be different, that's for sure. There will always be an empty spot.

I had no direct experience with hospice, but I had heard only good things about it from friends and coworkers, who shared their experiences. My Mom had been treated for cancer but it had come back. As the news came that treatment options would be limited, we were trying to deal with that and take it a day at a time. Then a stroke, which she survived, completely robbed my Mom of who she was, what she knew, who she knew, what she could do, It was devastating on every level, and the doctors recommended hospice. Even when you know it's coming, it's hard to hear, yet even with my family's limited knowledge of hospice, it certainly seemed to make sense. Mom was in a nursing home at this point, but if there could be more folks to help give my Mom the medical care she needed and deserved, bring 'em on. The nursing home staff were wonderful and since one of us (Mom's kids) was with her all the time, the nurses and aides were like family to us. Hospice started and a nurse was coming by to visit everyday for about 15 minutes. They were friendly and chatty, but did nothing to help my mother, who was sick to her stomach everyday she was there - 5 months. If I had a nickel for every time I heard a hospice nurse say, "It's the progression of the disease, I'd still be counting nickels. Their "care and comfort" mantra was, in our case, the biggest crock of bs. I wanted to fire them, but the reason to keep them was, "Well, at least its another medical person checking in on her, " which was almost true - it was another medical person doing her least to get a check. And yes, it certainly seems that the ativan and morphine cocktail, once they started that, the hospice nurse was then simply coming by to see if my Mom was still alive. We never expected miracles from Hospice, the only thing we expected and were promised, was that pain and suffering be as minimal as possible, "care and comfort,." Mother's pain and suffering were never really under control and she was sick every day for five months, every single day. Based on the experience we have just gone through with hospice, it is, by far, the worst, most regrettable decision I've ever been involved in making. Hospice failed miserably.

My two experiences with Hospice with my father 15 years ago and with my mother this year, were so awful, that I have rewritten my own Advanced Directive to keep myself OUT of the hands of Hospice, EVER. Their protocol for death is analogous to the 1950's protocol of medicalized childbirth. Someday there will be a change in our understanding, just as there was with childbirth, which will open the door to the extremely effective alternative and holistic protocols which provide a more positive and pain free transitioning to the life of spirit. I'm writing a book about it.

dcguydc -- the other thing they don't tell you is that the hospice medications themselves cause side effects -- like nausea.

Singingway, all medications have side effects some more serious than others. Medicine is not an exact science and knowledge and treatments are constantly evolving. Looking back on over 50 years as a nurse I am constantly horrified by the way things were done that long ago. One very good example is childbirth which most women here can relate to. No one had heard of giving epidurals to ease the pain of childbirth.
Chemotherapy saves millions of lives every year but the side effects are horrendous and sometimes life threatening in themselves. Medical professionals are dedicated to saving lives not taking them but at times the only available treatment may be worse than the disease but patients cling to the hope that this last thing may just prolong life. Think of the distress of someone with end stage kidney disease dragging themselves to dialysis week after week. They will die in the end and the way they die will be little different from the way they would have died 50 years ago when dialysis was not widely available. Organ transplants are another modern developement but rarely are they such a perfect match that anti rejections drugs can be avoided. For most people it is worth the risk because their lives can be extended. During WW11 airmen shot down into the ocean with their flaming planes did not suffer as badly from their burns as other burn victims. It was assumed that it was the salt water that was so healing. Treatment for burns became to immerse the patient in a salt water bath which was probably very painful. These days better treatments have evolved but the lesson learned was to exclude air from the burnt skin. currently in the news again is the bombing of the Boston marathon. In recent years the use of tourniqets to stop severe bleeding had fallen out of favor in preferrance of special wound dressings and application of direct pressure. Some of the caualties whoose limbs were blown off would not have survived more than a few minutes if people in the crowd had not had the presence of mind to remove their belts and tie them around those severed limbs.
Of course there are evil people from all walks of life who do things for evil reasons as we see on TV every day but the majority of medical professionals are devoted to relieving suffering in whatever way they know how.

Then there is the deadly sedatives, like haldol/ativancoctails and other dangerous ones. They can be used in injection form or put in iv form which iv form is not approved, but done anyway especially for elders. Haldol and ativan alone is more likely to kill an elder. It is on the black box warnings.yet still used.It is even used when an elder has a severe sensitivity to it.

These sedatives alone cause death and the person does not even have to have any disease.You may not need hospice at times cause sometimes the hospital will be glad to start these deadly sedatives, then hospice can finish it.So very wrong when that happens.

People have to be very careful who they chose for their medical care(hospitals), especially when it comes to elders.It does not just happen on tv it happens in real life also. That is what I found out.

My 62 year old dad was placed on hospice care at home 3 weeks ago. He is defiantly not at the end yet, but yes it is inevitable. Last Friday I recieved a call while at work, the hospice nurse told me I needed to come NOW and that she didn't think my dad would make it thru the weekend. I left immediately and drove the hour and a half to be by his side. I was very confused, he was doing quite well and had even gotten out for a car ride that Monday. I quickly assets my father when I walked into the room. His lips were a shade of light blue, his ostomy bag had only about a tablespoon in it and was very dark, his breathing was shallow. I began with the questions! When did this start, did they change his meds, has he eaten, has he been drinking? I was told that on Monday the hospice nurse has added a new medicine, dilaudid that was to be giving every two hours for pain and to help with breathing. I tried to wake my father, he didn't know who I was and was hallucinating and become agitated. He was very scared and kept asking me what was going on in between his out of reality spells. My step mother told me they changed his meds Monday and by Wednesday he wasn't acting right. I immediately called the hospice nurse wanting answers. I told her that I wanted him off the dilaudid, because I never hear my father complain of pain and he was already on 10 mg of methadone three times a day. If I felt my father was in pain I would whole heartedly give him more pain medicine, this wasn't the case. She said she would call the hospice dr (who has never seen my father) and call us back. She called back 30 minutes later and said the dr didn't want to change his pain meds but instead wanted to add an antipsychotic call haldol, to help with the hallucinations. Whelp, that didn't happen I stopped the dilaudid myself, sat up with him for two days straight while he went thru hell getting the medicine out of his body. The twitching stopped, the hallucinations stopped, he started eating and drinking, he started urinating again and it started turning lighter. He was up playing checkers with me Sunday night. I saved my dads life! So Monday come and the hospice nurse comes, she was in total disbelieve and told my dad that she was sure he wouldn't make it thru the weekend. I looked her straight in the eyes and told her, "he would have been dead if he was still taking dilaudid." She was obviously very irritated with me for taking him off the medicine and kept making rude comments. I left Monday to go home and back to work and told him not to let anyone change his meds and took a picture of what he should be taking each time. I called everyday to check on him and make sure all was well. Thursday when I called he didn't answer, which is extremely odd. I took off work and drove back to his house, only to find my dad back on the meds and heavily sedated from no other than dilaudid!. He is now with me, so that I can monitor his mediation. I have filed a report with adult services. Please please be the voice, when your Loved one doesn't have one.

Daddysgirl I hope you get that hospice doctor's balls presented to you on a plate. Did he also prescribe the dilaudid without seeing your father? Demand to see their working when it came to writing the px - I'd love to hear what the rationale was.

I am on hospice since May. I've had two episodes where I became unresponsive. I have chronic back pain, COPD, stage III and CHF. I have a diagnosis of cor pulmonale, but I think that's CHF.

My pain is not controlled with Percocet. My case worker is going to talk to the doc about putting me on methadone for chronic pain and keep the Percocet for breakthrough pain.

I don't feel they are trying to evict me from my body to get me off the program. Medicare pays for six months and then after that hospice has to eat the expenses. However they have some clients that have been on hospice for years.

Daddy's girl, that is terrible. I still have my voice, but my daughter is my advocate. She isn't afraid to ask the questions. Sounds like they wanted your dad out of that bed to get a new patient. I am treated well by Homestead Hospice. All my meds are free, I don't pay anything. I'm not dying yet but I know I could go any time I go through a bad spell.

Please allow this thread to die a natural easy death by not posting here. If you have a new thread to start, do that. But someone unhealthy has joined, and it just would not serve any one here to entertain delusions. In my opinion. If possible, I am reporting it to administration for review.

Sendme2help are you referring to me about not posting? I just joined. I wrote my experience and it is good. The staff is very kind to me. If I'm not welcomed to post I'll not come back. Sorry if I offended anyone.