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staceyb

Thank you so much again. I'm glad to have connected with you as well. A year ago on this date, 26th, mom was transferred from the hospital to the first of 3 NHs for rehab after a hospital stay. I'm glad you had the support system in place to help you. Take care of yourself.
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Zythrr, your so welcome! Aniversary dates are often so difficult to handle. I still get teary-eyed when the Aniversary of my parents deaths occur (and at happy memories too!), and it's been 13 and 14 years now. I still miss them terribly! My suggestion is to do something nice, like placing flowers on her graveside, and then go out and do something celebratory to remember her by! If you are religious, you could go and light a candle at your church, and say a few prayers, or take a nice walk in your favorite place, and even go through your pictures, remembering happier times. These things take time, so they aren't so darn hard, but eventually they do become easier to bare.

I'm finally to the point that I remember mostly the happier times, and not those last couple of the difficult years, when they both were so I'll, and everything was about their failing health.

Remember, she wouldn't want you to be hurting so! You take care now!
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All my mom's battle ended on the 23 of Jan 2017. I am relieved but sad at the same time.

I have a lot to deal with and I am sure that eventually get past all of the emotions.
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I was unable to attend my father's death as I am too far away but my sister, who is a care aid, said it is not ativan that they use, small doses is what they tell you, and within a week he went from talking on the phone to me to completely unresponsive and gone. No intravenous, no wetting the lips. Nurses were very 'nice' but do as little as possible and move them out like cattle sounds to me...maybe because we weren't paying top rate. Just doesn't feel right. Just one experience.
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What Hospice and sometimes your OWN relatives, will not tell you, when signing your love one into Hospice. My mom, passed away, in 2009, her death was hastened while in the care of (Vitas-HOSPICE) (Pembroke Pines Florida).

Unfortunately, animals have much louder Advocates for inhumane treatment against them (although they’re not human). Why is the abuse of animals a much more sensitive issue in America, and more important then inhuman, treatment of real human beings. Specifically the Terminal, the Sick and the Elderly?

These groups of people are targeted and funneled into Hospice (the silent killer) to cut Medicare cost.

The public has a right to know the truth about the (silent) practices used by the Hospice Organizations working in and through, our Hospitals, and Nursing Homes working in conjunction with Medicare.

Medicare’s sole agenda is to cut cost by any means necessary. Medicare’s idea of cutting cost is referring your love ones (the elderly, the terminal, and sick) to Hospice. Where the patient supply of medication is cut off. All except the morphine/methadone used to administer a quiet, rapid exit into eternity (someone is saving on their water bill as well because they are dehydrating their patients and not turning to the I.V drip).

Medicare’s idea of cutting cost is to withhold administering medication to the feeble (including blood thinners which prevent blood clotting for non mobile patients), diabetes medication is withheld, cholesterol, and high blood pressure meds are withheld too.

This is Medicare’s idea of cutting cost – writing addictive prescriptions, over medicate you, and then abruptly drop you from the excessive synthetic drugs; they hooked your body on. Then down the line tell you, they can not longer do anything else for you. By now your visits to the emergency room and hospital are so frequent (from the side effects of lifetime synthetic drugs) you know the staff including security. Occasionally you may get a nurse who will actually sympathize with you.

Written by-

Ron Panzer (President of Hospice Patient Alliance)
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You don't want the drugs? You do want the drugs?
You do want a humane end, like animals get? You don't want a humane end, you want your loved one dying without benefit of pain relief or anxiolytics? It's so hard to know what you do want!

You feel that strongly that the medical pharmaceutical and palliative care sectors are evil leeches, here's another idea. Do without them, then. Good luck.
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altobert

I'm so sorry for your loss.
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Dear Mr Panzer,
I have visited your Hospice Patient Alliance Website and am very impressed by the information that is shared there. It must have taken many hours of research for dedicated volunteers to assemble.
The opening statement on the purpose of hospice and the aims of care are totally in alliance with my own strongly held views.
However there is so much information that I do not have the many hours required to read it that I was only able to skim some of the articles.
As I have previously written there is a great deal of difference between hospices that are not for profit who must abide by Medicare/ Medicaid rules if they are to receive funding from those entities and for profit hospices who rely on private pay so a bed is better not occupied by a Medicare/Medicaid patient. Medicare /medicaid pays a hospice a daily amount which is often not sufficient to pay for the patient's needs. Not for profits have to raise money and often receive grants from such organizations as The United Way to continue to operate. Their rates of pay for all staff is way below what those individuals could earn in a hospital setting. There is mythe that RNs go to work for for Hospice when they are not good for anything else. An absolute untruth. The nurses I worked with were highly trained individuals following a specific calling where they felt they could do the most good. Many nurses in hospitals these days have to work 12 hour shifts and end up totally exhausted not able to give of their best and prone to mistakes.
Cutting costs is not just something Medicare tries to do it is a rampant practice throughout the health care industry and it not driven by greedy Drs who are mostly employees and receive a salary like everyone else and don't get to charge the fees seen on hospital bills.
Hospitals cut corners just like every other large organization these days by reducing quality which means nurses have too many patients to care for, and the kitchen uses a lot of processed food such as dried eggs and potato powder.
The healthcare industy is run by accountants whose only interest is making the greatest profit and many patients especially the elderly suffer by this practice.
It is not hospices that are promoting the early demise of our elderly loved ones it is the whole system that denies proper care and maintenance to our vulnerable people long before they become hospice eligeable.
Yes I agree the welfare system is full of abusers but on the other hand many people who are severly disabled have to wait many years to obtain disability and face many years on waiting lists for affordable houseing or even in my area waiting lists before they can get on a waiting list.
The purpose behind your organization seems to be to protect unsuspecting people mosty the elderly as they have the highest death rate is extremely laudable but the problems go deeper than hospice abuse which I don't deny does exist. However on this forum we most frequently hear of relative abuse not usually by the caretaker but by circling vulture relatives.
On the subject of assisted suicide I have an open mind as there is such potential for abuse however if my life became unbearable I would like to have that choice. I do not feel we have the right to judge others that is only up to God.
Please continue with the work you are doing it is very valuable but I also think it is very important not to frighten people away from the benefits of good hospice care. No is a very powerful word and patients and family must be encouraged to use it when they feel uncomfortable with anything medical that is being done however persuasive the healthcare provider can be.
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So you would rather have your family member who is Dying, lay in bed, in severe Pain, Linger for days and days on end, they themselves, wishing to die, and just put an end to it, but there's that One family member, holding out til the bitter end, looking for someone else to blame, because They Cannot wrap their heads around losing their Loved One!

No Way, I know, I've been there, day after day, watching my own Dear Mother suffer, she needed those drugs to help her with the Severe Pain, and if it took snowing her into Oblivion, I choose Oblivion! Just as she Chose Oblivion! I Loved her with all of my heart, just as my 5 Siblings also did, and Thank God, we were all on the same page, as we did not want to see her Suffer. Bring on those Narcotics, say your Goodbyes and even everything else you wish to say, because sadly, there are only a few states in the country that honor Death With Dignity, and until more states enact these sorts of laws, Hospice, and the Angels that run those organizations, are the only hope we have in giving our Loved ones the pain relief and a dignified death, to the best of their abilities!

Did I want to lose my Mom? NO, did I want to see her suffer? H*LL NO!

Unfortunately, there is only one course of action, and if you are proactive, speak with the Hospice Dr's, Coordinators, and the Nurses, find out exactly what the prognosis is, and what the best options are, to give your LO the best and most peaceful and most comfortable death. I choose Hospice, but you do not have to choose this route either.


It's Sad, It is Sad, all of it, losing someone who you are not ready to lose, horrible, but as adults, you have to let them go, end of, Period, as it's not fair to prolong a life, only for your own selfish longings.

I miss my Mom, everyday, every minute, and now my family is currently faced with another family member on Hospice, and he's only in his 40's, has 3 daughter's, 21, 13, and 12, who are facing the loss of their father, his wife, has been grieving his passing for over 2 years now, as he's been through clinical trial, after clinical trial. It is near the end for him, the family is a wreck, my poor Niece, my heart breaks for her right now, her trying to hold it all together for her children.

Thankfully in the state of Washington, they have passed the Death With Dignity laws, and he has chosen this route, to end the suffering, his own, and that of his family. Hospice is struggling to manage his pain and the other dreadful side affects of the 2 types of Cancer that is killing him, ever so slowly. His decision is his own, a very personal decision, and a dificult one, but his time left, dealing with his own pain, and then having to watch his children suffer emotionally right along side is Too, Too much!


I respect his decision, and pray that this families suffering ends soon, so that they can all get on to the healing and processing of the grief and loss. He's ready, he wants this all to end, it's a huge sacrifice he's making, but he is close to death either way, but this way, he is in control of his own destiny, and I believe it's the right thing to do In This Case. As every case is different. We as a family, are all supporting his decision. Still, it's very sad. Please pray for my family in this difficult time? Thank you.
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Yes! My brother just died and there was no doubt it was a morphine/Ativan induced death. The day his wife (a nurse) instructed the doctors to start morphine I was present when his vitals were taken. His b/p was 135/63, his temperature was 98.3, his pulse 70. He had been been in the hospital 3 days for edema of his legs and cellulitis that was responding to Lasix and antibiotics. The plan was for him to go to a skilled nursing facility for rehab after discharge from the hospital. His wife insisted that he go to in-patient hospice. Now...he and his wife had not lived together for the past eight (8) years. In fact, she lives with another man, in another state. But, my brother had kept all of his affairs in her name so she would be "well taken care of". (his words) He did not understand what hospice was about and I asked her to explain it to him. When he expressed that he thought he could go home for a while and live a little longer, she looked at him and shouted, "you're dying, you've been dying...even telling him how long he had left to live". I left the hospital that evening for the night and returned the next morning to find him medicated with morphine...hecould no longer communicate. His wife kept insisting to the staff that he needed more. Her daughter (who is also a nurse) said twice to her, "mom, why are you pushing the morphine? why don't you let him come around and see if he wants to talk". It was awful to watch. I left that evening to go home and his wife call around midnite to say that he died. I can't get this out of my mind. I saw it, lived it and still can't believe it. Had he passed due to his health issues that would be one thing. Had he been in such pain that he needed morphine, that would have been acceptable. I would not have wanted him to suffer. But neither was the case. His right leg did hurt if he moved it, but they were giving him oxycodone prn and it was doing the job. I need someone to tell me...how is something like this allowed to happen?
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The function of Hospice is to alleviate the pain of critically ill patients through the massive and sustained use of opioids and thus facilitate the dying process. This applies even to those patients not suffering from terminal illnesses. Hospice is a government sponsored euthanasia program to accelerate the dying process.
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Please note that Hospice uses 5-15mg every 4 hours of morphine.   To euthanasia someone, Hospice would need to use 200 mg, and no Doctor would ever write a script for that huge amount.

People will die on the same time table whether they use Hospice or not.

Without Hospice that patient is in terrible pain as it is not pleasant when the body starts to shut down.  With Hospice, again note same time table, the patient is more relax, more comfortable, etc.   If it were me, please let me have Hospice.
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Can anyone tell me why I am not getting e-mail notifications on any of the topics I am following anymore? They stopped about 4 weeks ago. Strange
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My Mom died recently in hospice care. She has had COPD and was not getting out much anymore. Hospice was called in because she started developing pain in her back - it hurt when she moved - not to do with her breathing. Her doctor put her on fentinal without even examining her - she was not taking anything but tylenol. The opiod didnt help her pain which came and went as before. The doc didnt seem to have any answers (all this on the phone to my brother - still no exam) and ordered hospice for pain management. Hospice denied that it was end of life treatment, but switched out her bipap and concentrators to older machines from their company and took mom off some of her meds. they filled up syringes with morphine and left them on the kitchen counter unlabelled, even though she was allergic to codeine derivatives. The nurse stopped in once a week and talked to mom. Hospice refused to use a pulse oximeter and did nothing but encourage mom to keep using the fentynal even though mom said she hadnt had pain and wanted to get off it. The drugs seemed to take a toll on mom - she was tired and had much more trouble catching her breath. She had chills and couldnt get warm. Hospice's answer was more drugs. There are FDA warnings for opiods not to be given to people with lung problems. Mom finally had enough of the pain and demanded to go to a hospital. The hospice nurse convinced her that she could go to the inpatient hospice facility - yes, they would do xrays and PT and figure out what was causing the pain. They did nothing (no blood tests or exams or xrays) but make her sicker by giving her morphine, which they had to then give dexamethasone to relieve. Once the morphine wore off they saw she was fine (except for her lower back pain) and told her to leave. Before she left, Mom noticed the frequent deaths that were ceremoniously happening there ( 3 a day) and became upset. She wasnt looking for end of life - just fixing her pain. the gave her a strong sedative (haldol) , increased her fentynal and she went home. Back home Mom's legs went out from under her - she was taking the prescribe hadol and increased opiod. The hospice nurse came and upped the regimin giving her haldol and now methadone until she died that day. Sedatives are contraindicated for people with breathing problems as are opiods. Haldol has a black box warning that it causes death in elderly people. I was away while all this transpired, and my siblings trusted the nurse. Please do not fall into this trap. It is one thing if a loved one is very sick and wants to die; but some hospice patients like my mom have been coaxed, pushed and misunderstood. My mom was sick, but she wasn't dying until hospice - her back was in spasms for inactivity, inflammation, or a spinal fracture. She was 82.
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Yes, hospice does rush death. I have seen it.

I have seen many comments stating that the hospice wouldn't rush death, because they would lose money. Someone even stated they get paid by Medicare on a daily basis. Not true.

There is a cap on the Medicare hospice benifit. It's right in the Medicare guidelines. You can look it up. It's around $27,000 and some. You think, "oh that would go a long way". No, they can drain that in anywhere from two weeks to two days, by fraudulently billing Medicare for services they have not provided.

Look up the recent story about the Texas hospice boss who was texting execution orders to nurses. It talks about the cap. Also you can see by that story how hospice works. I hate to say all, but I believe the majority of them kill. I would not trust one.
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There are bad apples in every barrel and the CEO of the Texas Hospice was clearly one of them.
There are being cuts applied to hospice payments by Medicare/ Medicaid currently in progress.
The use of narcotics at the end of life to provide comfort and pain relief may have the effect of shortening life. This is an inevitable side effect. As others have said do you want your loved one to live longer in agony. Many medications some of which are life preserving have side effects that are unpleasant and unwanted such as chemotherapy - who wants that?
Do Drs deliberately or by neglect kill patients? No one can answer that it is between the Dr and his conscience. The hospice owner was not a Dr so his instructions to the nurses were definitely illegal and the relatives whose loved ones died because of his orders will be glad when he receives his punishment in a court of law. Little comfort to them but at least he can never do it again.
There was a study published in the journal of Pain and Symptom Management that hospice patients live on average 29 days longer than those with similar symptoms that were not receiving hospice care.
There are numerous postings on the internet from professional organizations and private individuals for and against hospice care.
As I have said before caregivers must educate themselves before their loved ones reach the stage where hospice may be appropriate.
When someone says the nurse gave it anyway the option is to call the police if that is the only way to stop it. If you don't agree with a Dr find another one but don't be surprised if you get the same advice and recommendations.
End of life care is not a game of Russian roulette it, is the use of carefully considered options which at times will be wrong - there is no doubt about that. I once took a phone call from young woman who had just visited her dying sister who had just given birth to a baby. She was dying from kidney failure and there was no dialysis fifty years ago. She begged me to give whatever I was allowed to keep her sister unaware. She was greatly relieved when I told her that I had the syringe of heroin in my hand and was about to give it. Yes we used heroin in the UK in those days for severe pain.
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Excerpt from 'Dallas News' article:

"Another Norvus employee told agents that in late 2013, Harris sent a text message asking the worker to “administer an overdose of medication to a hospice patient … by increasing the patient’s medication dosage to approximately four times the maximum allowed.”

The employee did not comply with the request because it would have killed the patient, the FBI said."

Surely the key point here is the last sentence. The employee REFUSED to overdose the patient. Refused, moreover, in spite of the pressure one can imagine coming from such a deranged director.
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I find it interesting that some of you here are actually admitting that hospice shortens lives. That said, the people that I know who were murdered by them did not want their lives shortened and were not in pain. One was only in pain because she had fallen and broken her arm. So instead of treating her broken arm, they put her to sleep and let her die.

People are being robbed of the last years, months, weeks, days, hours of their lives. No person has a right to steal that from them!

As more proof that hospice is euthanasia, it would enlighten the public greatly to do some research on Florence Wald, the founder of the first hospice in the United states. She was a pro euthanasia advocate. Of course, if a hospice is founded by a nurse who believes in euthanasia, what do you they are going to be doing to relieve the patients' suffering? You guessed it! According to the death culture that has taken over the person is suffering from their life. End the life, end the suffering.

Also the word "euthanasia" comes from the Greek and means "good death". Its this one of hospice's favorite phrases.

For all of you pro euthanasia propionates. Most of you talk like it is the patients choice. Many of you are deceived. Most of the time the patient is not even told what is being done.

My grandma was killed by her doctor. Yes, it is happening outside of hospice as well. Doctor and hospitals are doing it. He suddenly stopped her fluid pill she had been on for years. I won't go into detail. But he killed her purposely by stopping a necessary treatment. This way to euthanasia and discussed on pro euthanasia websites, as well as, withholding food and water and sedated. Which is hospice's main way of killing. Also called the "Third Way".

Also look up the hospice in America timeline.

The "Euthanasia Society of America" was formed in 1938. Its purpose was to get euthanasia legalized in America.

The first American hospice was founded by PRO EUTHANASIA nurse, Florence Wald in 1974.

The "National Hospice Organization" was formed in 1978.

Down through the years, "Euthanasia Society of America" Merged with other "right to die" organizations and entities.

By 2004 "National Hospice Organization (Now called "National Hospice & Palliative Care Organization") merged with the "Euthanasia Society of America" (Then called "Last Acts Partnership"), and became the successor organization to it and all of its predecessors.

The "National Hospice & Palliative Care Organization" IS the "Euthanasia Society of America"!

Timeline:
http://www.hospicepatients.org/euthanasia-soc-of-america-to-natl-hosp-and-palliative-care-org.pdf
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Yes, Churchmouse, it is good that the one did refuse. Good for her! But many did follow through with the orders. This also blows the argument out of the water, that the patients are never given more than 20mg of morphine, which I have seen commented many times. That it would take 200mg and they would never have access to that amount.

Another thing you need to take away form this story: Hospice is a business. Its goal like many businesses is to keep costs low and make money. You see how the CEO of this business was calling the shots? He has no medical training or degree and he is the boss. That's how it works. Also note the cap.
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If you have been giving a life-ending diagnosis, are in severe pain, and no longer wish to prolong the agony, do you want a good death or do you want a difficult death? I choose a good death so call the hospice for me! I have had nothing but good experiences with hospice in several of my family members who have utilized their services. Without them, things would have been very difficult for the patient and the family and dealing with the pain and Agony and their suffering.   Remember, using Hospice Services is a choice, you may choose to utilize our services or you can go the route of caring for your family member your self.
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ProLife, don't you have a clinic you should be protesting at instead of posting here?
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Prolife, well the non-profit Hospice Care group that took care of my parents, the CEO has an extensive medical background, holds a Masters in Nursing, plus some of the Board of Directors are MD's along with RN's.

Making money?   On average Hospice gets $150 per day from Medicare for each patient.   That $150 also has to cover the cost of the rental of the hospital bed, rental of oxygen tanks, and a long list of medical supplies.

Oh, let's not forget the payroll for the Board-Certified palliative medicine Physicians.... the Hospice trained RN's.... the Hospice trained Aides,.... the Clinical Social Worker for the patient..... the interfaith Chaplain..... the Bereavement Coordinator, etc. that commute to where ever the patient may be, at all hours of the day, in all kinds of weather.

By the way, morphine is a Controlled Substance.  
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2 Samuel 1
2 It came even to pass on the third day, that, behold, a man came out of the camp from Saul with his clothes rent, and earth upon his head: and so it was, when he came to David, that he fell to the earth, and did obeisance.
3 And David said unto him, From whence comest thou? And he said unto him, Out of the camp of Israel am I escaped.
4 And David said unto him, How went the matter? I pray thee, tell me. And he answered, That the people are fled from the battle, and many of the people also are fallen and dead; and Saul and Jonathan his son are dead also.
5 And David said unto the young man that told him, How knowest thou that Saul and Jonathan his son be dead?
6 And the young man that told him said, As I happened by chance upon mount Gilboa, behold, Saul leaned upon his spear; and, lo, the chariots and horsemen followed hard after him.
7 And when he looked behind him, he saw me, and called unto me. And I answered, Here am I.
8 And he said unto me, Who art thou? And I answered him, I am an Amalekite.
9 He said unto me again, Stand, I pray thee, upon me, and slay me: for anguish is come upon me, because my life is yet whole in me.
10 So I stood upon him, and slew him, because I was sure that he could not live after that he was fallen: and I took the crown that was upon his head, and the bracelet that was on his arm, and have brought them hither unto my lord.
11 Then David took hold on his clothes, and rent them; and likewise all the men that were with him:
12 And they mourned, and wept, and fasted until even, for Saul, and for Jonathan his son, and for the people of the LORD, and for the house of Israel; because they were fallen by the sword.
13 And David said unto the young man that told him, Whence art thou? And he answered, I am the son of a stranger, an Amalekite.
14 And David said unto him, How wast thou not afraid to stretch forth thine hand to destroy the LORD'S anointed?
15 And David called one of the young men, and said, Go near, and fall upon him. And he smote him that he died.
16 And David said unto him, Thy blood be upon thy head; for thy mouth hath testified against thee, saying, I have slain the LORD'S anointed.

So called mercy killing in the Bible.
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Would you like my name and address Prolife? I have nothing to hide. I could also give you the name of a good Psychiatrist. You are doing nothing but adding to good people in the depths of dispare more suffering. So knock it off.OK?
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Prolife, one day, when you or somebody close to you lay dying, in intractable pain, begging to die, I hope you remember how you preached that giving and recieving those body numbing pain medications isn't the right thing to do, the Only thing to do, or would you rather lay there suffering, or watching  your loved one lay there,  rytheing in pain? Not me!

I've seen it, and observed one who chose to end his own life with grace and dignity, utilizing his option of Death With Dignity. A very brave thing to do.

No, a sad and painful death, I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, but it happens, a lot! And thank God we have the wonderful option of Hospice Care, to help in the aid of comfort for our Loved ones, and now even Death with Dignity, in some states.

When your body is broke down, and death is in sight, please, take the option of Hospice Care. They are not hastening your death, they are a saving grace, helping you to live out your days with as much comfort as is possible. And they definitely don't set out to kill you or shorten your life!

If you would rather, do not choose Hospice, tough it out of on your own, but it won't be pretty. It will be Awful, difficult, and painful, and you can't pray that away.
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Hi Prolife,
Please check out the New International Version (NIV) of the Bible. It is in modern day language and is so much easier to understand than the King James version.
I would like to dissect the verses you printed from your Bible and get to the meaning of the story. The man who came to David was probably not who he said he was, an Amalekite from King Saul's camp. Since he had Saul's crown with him, an item that the Philistines would not have left in the battlefield, we can assume that the Philistine's hadn't arrived yet and that he was a scavenger, pilfering the battlefield for treasure AFTER Saul had been killed. (See 1 Samuel 31:3-4)
Since the Amalekites had been in battle with the Israelites since the time of Moses, and David had just destroyed a group of them who had burned his city and kidnapped the women and children (1 Samuel 30:1-20), obviously this man was unaware of David's hatred of them. He thought he would be pleasing David to tell him of Saul's death but his lie wound up costing him his life.
What I am trying to get across is that, because the man was lying, and he did not kill Saul, you can not use this story to show "mercy killing". The man never committed Saul's murder to ease his anticipated (perceived) pain of dying at the hand of the enemy.
I am not saying that, in history, mercy killings have never happened. I'm just saying, in this instance, that it wasn't the case.

You have every right not to opt for hospice care for a dying loved one. As a hospice nurse, I have seen people in extreme pain at the end of their life. If you can live with denying them pain medicine and can put up with their moaning, screaming, gasping, writhing, etc., until the good Lord takes them, then you are a tougher cookie than I am. I wonder if that's what your family member would want.
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Well said Sue C. You are obviously very knowledgeable about the Bible. Your reply very realistically illustrates how people with an agenda try and bully others into their own point of view. There is never a single solution for every problem.
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Exactly! God bless our Hospice Nurses!
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I agree so much with your comment, as my brother went home with Hospice on a Sat. almost two weeks ago...he was still communicating, eating, etc. His illness was related to dialysis. They could not afford a sitter to care for him in nursing home or at home till he got his strength back from being in and out of hospital/nursing home, so that is the reason Hospice was brought in. With Hospice, there is no more dialysis. Long story shorter, his son hates his Dad and he works for an ambulance service. He thinks he knows everything and he will tell you so. My sister in law listens to every word from his mouth, and he told her to tell the Hospice nurse that my brother needed something more for pain, as he gets agitated. So last Thurs. they started him on small dosages of morphine along with other meds he is on including Haldol & two other pain meds. He went from eating, talking, wanting to get up to potty (with help) on Wed. to sleeping the very next day! All he is given is few bites of applesauce (with meds in) and dropper of water. He has not talked nor opened his eyes since he began the morphine. I am familiar with Hospice as my oldest brother and my 2nd sister in law had hospice due to cancer. They were NOT given morphine until the very end. My brother now did NOT need to have this started in my opinion. I am not blaming Hospice, they are doing what they're asked to control his occasional agitated state. My question to you is: "Does a paramedic have the right to put a needle in a vein and hook up IV with saleen (mispelled) and stand there pushing on bag to get it in patient?" This paramedic thinks he knows everything because he has worked 15 years at this...of course, he has been at so many ambulance services because he cannot keep a job! This is WITHOUT PERMISSION FROM DR! The saddest part of all is that this is the younger son who is doing this...my sister in law listens to every word he says. He also has put on FB that he hates his Dad. This is my brother, and I love him so much. His last days on this earth should be peaceful...God is still in charge of when He wants us to come home with Him. My heart is breaking, as if I say anything, the son starts yelling and cursing about how long he's been taking care of patients, etc. Please let me know what I should do without causing my brother any more pain (from a broken heart as he lays there listening to all that's going on). My niece goes every afternoon and stays and I go after work...she also knows how her brother is, and her Mother doesn't listen to her either, just Jon. PLEASE help me know what to do to help my brother without causing my sister in law any problems. We have always been close, so this is so very hard. Thank you and have a blessed day! WW
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Your paramedic nephew might well be trained in putting in an IV for saline (purified water with trace elements in it, identical to the watery part of blood), but he will not have unauthorised access to morphine.

Your brother is - and I'm sorry to be this blunt but you seem very matter-of-fact yourself so I hope you'll forgive me - dying of renal failure. There comes a point in kidney disease where dialysis, which is uncomfortable and risky in itself, is not enough to keep the patient going. So there is no point in continuing it, because it will not allow him to recover and improve, but only prolong his severe suffering.

Your brother and sister in law are both fortunate that you are a sensitive person, able to recognise that acting rashly in this difficult situation might end up making things worse for them to no purpose. Many people in your shoes would kick up a fuss whatever the consequences of it. Well done to you that you genuinely are putting your brother's and SIL's peace of mind first.

You are in a very challenging position. You are correct that it is professionally (never mind anything else) inappropriate for your nephew to be administering treatment to his father, unless this has also been agreed by the patient, his doctor and the hospice team. Whereas it sounds as though nephew is muscling in and making it hard for the hospice nurse to challenge him without upsetting the patient.

As a side issue: be careful how you judge your nephew. People who say what he said, and perhaps felt what he felt when he said that, often experience terrible guilt and shame about it later on when what they "wished for" is coming true. It seems more likely that his feelings towards his father are extremely complicated: if he truly, simply hated him it would be easier and more final to stay away and deny him any chance of leave-taking. Anyway.

In your position, I think if I could I would call the GP and report my concerns. The GP may be able to liaise with hospice to ensure that only authorised staff have any hands-on involvement in nursing or medical care. If you decide to try this, keep strictly to the facts; and if you must comment on your nephew say only that he is too emotionally involved to give appropriate care. Good luck, and please let us know how you and your family are getting on.
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