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Some of these are really,really funny.
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During another one of countless arguments (I'm learning not to do that anymore) with my mean as a snake mom:
She wanted to take yet another jab at me & told me I'm "Illusional" as opposed to delusional. LOL
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Its 21 degrees here today YES dont laugh thats a heatwave for us! I got up at lunch mum was up and dressed(ok so in a jumper and velvet trousers and heatwave on??)

I just didnt want to deal with mum so i just went and lay in the sun! after an hour she came out and said "youre very tanned why on earth do you want to go away and get more tanned? its a waste of money!" oh god help me!! LOL
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Wasn't what she said today, but what she did. I was paying the bill for our lunch when she disappeared. I had asked her earlier if she had to go to the bathroom before we left. She said, No, which is standard for her. So, I turn my head for one SECOND and she's gone. Where is she? Well, I figured she found the Ladies Room somehow, so I go in there looking for her and there is no her. So, I look directly opposite and I'm thinking she can't be in there, then I'm thinking, oh no, I have to open the door! So, I open the door to the MENS ROOM and ask, Are you in here? "Yes, she says. I tell her, "MA, you're in the MENS ROOM!

Answer: Well, that's alright. I had to go!

OMG.

Later on when I asked her if she didn't see the urinals, she said she wasn't looking for a urinal.

Another OMG day!
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LOL last week I was showing my 93 year old the different things in money bills when you fold them certain ways. yesterday during our visit I was going to show him a new one I discovered and he pops off, "Oh don't bring that sh*t up again!" then got a look on his face... (from the one who repeats his stories again and again; Woops, did he just tell on himself? Hahahaha ... Btw, now I understand about the "memory people" "I remember when..." LOL have a day full of JOY everyone!
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I'm 68 Mother is 90, I tell her we share Dementia. She likes that.
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@learning curve - I thought I was the only one having these meaningless, pointless arguments with what basically amounts to a 'wall' :)
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Suegirl thats too funny!
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This morning I told Dad my sister was about two hours away from arriving at my house and he wanted to stand at the corner so my sister would know where to go!
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I believe this was Tuesday. I came in after walking the dog. It was around 7:55 p.m., beautiful night, when my mother tells me, in all seriousness, that 'The hurricane is going to hit tonight at 8:00".
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@Suegirl - I think we DO share dementia! Right now I feel that the 'old' are taking care of the 'older'. Think about this, people in their sixties (which both you and I are) used to be thought of as 'old' not too long ago! In fact, we practically had one foot in the grave, the other on the banana peel back in the day. Now, we're considered younger, yet we're taking care of the oldest of the WWII Generation! I have to tell you I was at the doctor's office the other day and she said that they are actually in new territory here because they're aren't that many hard facts on just how to treat the oldest of our population. The fastest growing population now is 90 and over!

So, I, too, feel like I'm sharing in some ways her aches and pains! And dementia! Except she tells me she's not in pain! Go figure! In fact, my mother doesn't even know her own diagnosis, which is vascular dementia. She just tells me they're crazy and don't know what they're talking about! :)
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My dad loves ice cream. Today is the 3rd box I have bought within a month. This time, I told him that he needs to eat less ice cream so that we can make it last longer. I gave him ice cream. About 2 hours later, he asks very meekly, "Can I have one tablespoon of ice cream? Just one tablespoon." At the same time, he's using his thumb and pointer fingers to show how little he's asking for.

I was changing his pamper. We have this ritual of counting up to 3 (alone or together). When we reach 3, he uses the trapeze bar to pull himself up so that I can slide his slacks up to his waist. We did this. So, now, I'm tying a string on the front of his pants together (so that he cannot sneak his hand inside his pants during the night and then wonder how all that 'dirt' got all over him and his bedding) . He starts counting, "1, 2..."
And I interrupt him, asking, "Why are you counting up to 3 for?"
He stops. Looks at me, and goes back counting, "1, 2, 3, 4." Then he had this puzzled look. He said, "4?" He looks at me as if I was wrong, and recounted the right way, "1, 2, 3."
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I take care of my mom, and it is true they return to being children. Once you can wrap your mind around that. The things they do does become comical.
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Book, that's too funny. We have to laugh at this stuff, don't we? We'd cry otherwise. It's so hard to see them this way sometimes, but some of it *is* comical.
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Watching the news this morning, I mentioned to Mom that a Catholic Priest, that killed a Nun, 34 yrs ago, died in prison. Her response............wait for it................

"Maybe she had a bad Habit" God help us all get past the craziness!
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During lunch my mother began giving me a "knowing," yet irritated look toward my father, who was gently trying to speed up her eating.

When we left the table, she went immediately into a rest room. After several minutes, I let her know I was right there if she needed me, she said she was almost done. More minutes pass, and I again let her know I was there for her. After many minutes and a third time of her answering that she was almost done, my father motioned for me to go in. Mom had taken off her Depends and had put her pants back on inside out and backwards, so I entered the room and closed the door behind me.

Her mood had changed quite a bit, because she was able to tell me what had bothered her earlier. She said, "I had something in my head and everyone kept talking, so I couldn't say it. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I think about something over and over again." When I asked her what it was, she said, "There was an old woman who swallowed a fly..." We both couldn't stop laughing and my husband asked if we were having a party in there.
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Kittysharone~There was an old woman who swallowed a fly,
I don't know why she swallowed a fly,
Perhaps she'll die....a favorite children's story....so funny and I can't wait to share it with my grandkids. Keep enjoying your mother!!
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One time Mom was hiding money, and forgot where she put it. Worried a lot! Was sitting on floor playing with me. Looked up out of window ( probably)praying. And saw where she had sewn the money in hem of of curtain. She's done this all her life. Lord knows what she is hiding now and where.
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We have so many funny stories, that I started writing them down. My MIL is really funny, and a little ornery. The doctor put her on a pretty strict diet for her health. Not long after, she carried 'extras' she had decided she wanted to eat with the “Dr. approved” meal I had just made her. Upon mentioning this to her, she said "Oh well! I sneaked it behind your back right in front of you!"
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HA! Caught him in the act of pulling a "memory" thing, LOL The LOOK on his face! Sorry, but if you could imagine... Hey, we wont get in trouble if we mess with their head a bit will we? Hahaha, btw some one please tell me what MIL is or means and thank you.........
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MIL - mother in law, FIL - father in law, DIL, etc.. DH -darling husband. PIL - parents in law.
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MIL means Mother In-Law. I have nearly 18 pages so far, of funny things she has said.....that someday I can give to all of her kids and grand-kids to read and enjoy.
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MIL is Mother-in-law
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Dad had fallen asleep in his chair. I needed to give him meds so woke him gently. He was startled and said "What did you wake me for? I just got to to heaven!"
I said Oh wow! Did you talk to Jesus?
"Yes"
What did he say to you?
"He said come back later, we are not ready for you now"
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I wore this nice plain blouse with no embellishments or designs. Just a pleaded neck, sleeveless fuchsia blouse with my black slacks. To match my blouse, I wore my black Nike sneakers with the hot pink shoe laces. Dad saw me and said, "You look sharp." Several times. After a while, he asked me if anyone else told me that I looked sharp.

I said, "No. But they have said that I'm pretty." And I made a face with that remark.
Dad, "Pretty? People said you're pretty? Pretty?"
Well... after so many times of that, I started to believe that my own father doesn't think I'm pretty.
He said very firmly, "You're sharp!" =)
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I feel bad now. Since Dad really loves ice cream, and I KNOW that he gets sis to give it to him while I'm at work in the day, then again, when I'm home... I had told Dad after I bought the 3rd box this month, that we need to not eat too much so that we can make it last longer.

I just got home, had my dinner. Time for dessert. I told him that I was going to have ice cream, did he want one also? He said, "That sounds good! Very good! Just one tablespoon. To make it last longer. Okay? Just one tablespoon."

Now I felt soooo bad that he thinks he has to eat only 1 tablespoon so that the ice cream would last. ... Until I opened the carton. Wow... someone ate a Lot since lastnight!
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A couple days ago, I ran into Mom as she got up and out of her room. She came over looking a bit concerned and asked if it was okay if she had a banana (she usually gets up and has a banana with her morning medications). I responded that she lives here and should feel free to eat anything in the house and, yes there are bananas left.

She continued to look concerned and said she'd just wanted to make sure it was okay with the mess officer.

Side note: No, this isn't the Army. She lives in my home. Just wanted to clear that up. :-)
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My friends mum died from alz a few years ago my mum asked me (again) what her mum died of? i said alz my mum said well she was always a bit odd???????????? oh dear!
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A week ago, we had a tropical storm that passed us while strengthening. It became that typhoon that hit Okinawa and caused major flooding. Just this morning, we had another tropical storm that just went by us, strengthening into a typhoon as it passed.

I needed to know the status because I work today. Radio announcement said as long as we're in condition 1, we must stay off the road. Even though there's no rain or wind outside. Fave sis just text me that we're going to leave condition 1 at 8 am.

Dad has always been afraid of typhoons (we've had several super ones hit island and totally devastated it for months with no power, etc...) I told him that it's passed and we're going back to normal status.

He replied with confidence, "I prayed to God all night. I prayed and prayed. Just like the last time. It passed us."

Just in case God is hearing his prayers all these years, I patted Dad's shoulder and said, "You did good."
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My mom would say, to me her daughter. How old are you, and then she would say I think we are the same age. Another day she said, she was 14 years old. I would say to her, Mom I think you are a hundred years old. She would say, I guess so. She passed at 84 years old.
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