You just have to laugh sometimes.....
Some of my recent favourites are:
"I had a terrible night last night. I had to stay awake .. until I went to sleep" (said several times over, with greater emphasis each time, because of course if you repeat it, then it must make sense.)
"drinking water causes gas, so no water, and no salt, cause salt makes you drink water"
"the toothpaste took all the enamel off my teeth in just 3 days!"
She wanted to take yet another jab at me & told me I'm "Illusional" as opposed to delusional. LOL
I just didnt want to deal with mum so i just went and lay in the sun! after an hour she came out and said "youre very tanned why on earth do you want to go away and get more tanned? its a waste of money!" oh god help me!! LOL
Answer: Well, that's alright. I had to go!
OMG.
Later on when I asked her if she didn't see the urinals, she said she wasn't looking for a urinal.
Another OMG day!
So, I, too, feel like I'm sharing in some ways her aches and pains! And dementia! Except she tells me she's not in pain! Go figure! In fact, my mother doesn't even know her own diagnosis, which is vascular dementia. She just tells me they're crazy and don't know what they're talking about! :)
I was changing his pamper. We have this ritual of counting up to 3 (alone or together). When we reach 3, he uses the trapeze bar to pull himself up so that I can slide his slacks up to his waist. We did this. So, now, I'm tying a string on the front of his pants together (so that he cannot sneak his hand inside his pants during the night and then wonder how all that 'dirt' got all over him and his bedding) . He starts counting, "1, 2..."
And I interrupt him, asking, "Why are you counting up to 3 for?"
He stops. Looks at me, and goes back counting, "1, 2, 3, 4." Then he had this puzzled look. He said, "4?" He looks at me as if I was wrong, and recounted the right way, "1, 2, 3."
"Maybe she had a bad Habit" God help us all get past the craziness!
When we left the table, she went immediately into a rest room. After several minutes, I let her know I was right there if she needed me, she said she was almost done. More minutes pass, and I again let her know I was there for her. After many minutes and a third time of her answering that she was almost done, my father motioned for me to go in. Mom had taken off her Depends and had put her pants back on inside out and backwards, so I entered the room and closed the door behind me.
Her mood had changed quite a bit, because she was able to tell me what had bothered her earlier. She said, "I had something in my head and everyone kept talking, so I couldn't say it. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I think about something over and over again." When I asked her what it was, she said, "There was an old woman who swallowed a fly..." We both couldn't stop laughing and my husband asked if we were having a party in there.
I don't know why she swallowed a fly,
Perhaps she'll die....a favorite children's story....so funny and I can't wait to share it with my grandkids. Keep enjoying your mother!!
I said Oh wow! Did you talk to Jesus?
"Yes"
What did he say to you?
"He said come back later, we are not ready for you now"
I said, "No. But they have said that I'm pretty." And I made a face with that remark.
Dad, "Pretty? People said you're pretty? Pretty?"
Well... after so many times of that, I started to believe that my own father doesn't think I'm pretty.
He said very firmly, "You're sharp!" =)
I just got home, had my dinner. Time for dessert. I told him that I was going to have ice cream, did he want one also? He said, "That sounds good! Very good! Just one tablespoon. To make it last longer. Okay? Just one tablespoon."
Now I felt soooo bad that he thinks he has to eat only 1 tablespoon so that the ice cream would last. ... Until I opened the carton. Wow... someone ate a Lot since lastnight!
She continued to look concerned and said she'd just wanted to make sure it was okay with the mess officer.
Side note: No, this isn't the Army. She lives in my home. Just wanted to clear that up. :-)
I needed to know the status because I work today. Radio announcement said as long as we're in condition 1, we must stay off the road. Even though there's no rain or wind outside. Fave sis just text me that we're going to leave condition 1 at 8 am.
Dad has always been afraid of typhoons (we've had several super ones hit island and totally devastated it for months with no power, etc...) I told him that it's passed and we're going back to normal status.
He replied with confidence, "I prayed to God all night. I prayed and prayed. Just like the last time. It passed us."
Just in case God is hearing his prayers all these years, I patted Dad's shoulder and said, "You did good."