You just have to laugh sometimes.....
Some of my recent favourites are:
"I had a terrible night last night. I had to stay awake .. until I went to sleep" (said several times over, with greater emphasis each time, because of course if you repeat it, then it must make sense.)
"drinking water causes gas, so no water, and no salt, cause salt makes you drink water"
"the toothpaste took all the enamel off my teeth in just 3 days!"
Then, she started asking if there's some way she could retire - if there was some kind of payment you can get so that you can stop working and have a little money coming in. I reminded her that she's already retired, that she's 86 and gets social security.
I don't know how to explain this to the reader, but she's trying to retire from having to go to activities at the senior center - she finds them strenuous (but her doctor wants her to go to them and she agrees to do it).
Maybe this is one of those "you had to be there" kind of things.
Tongiht, the Christian Children's Funds commercial came on. As the man was talking, he said, "Any you" with a short pause (before continuing to ask for donation). Without missing a beat, my dad replied to the man, "ME!?!"
He said it with such feelings/emotions, that I couldn't help it but chuckle.
I said, "But, Dad, this is not 1999. We're now 2015. So... " I started counting the years from 2015 - 1928 = 86 years old.
Nope. He insists he's 1999 - 1928 = 71 years old. okaaaaay....
I go home, tell him the situation. He now thinks he's paying $86 a month for the TV .
No-No. NOT the TV, the Cable!
Why is he paying $86 every month for the TV? They can come and take the TV back.
No, not the TV. The Cable! Anyway, nevermind the TV. I just need you to call them up and say you're cancelling it. They will ask for your birthdate and social security number.
He looks puzzled and then said,"I have a birthdate. I don't have social security."
"Yes, Dad, you Do have social security."
"No, I don't have social security."
I give up!!!! He will just have to continue to pay for the cable service.
This week, at her doctor's office, the resident came in before the main doctor to ask these questions. When he asked what clinic she was at, she just looked-down at his lab coat and read what it said. She was so obvious about it, that he was taken a little aback. She then told him, "Why should I go through the trouble to remember that when it's easier just to read it off your coast?" That's where he had no response.
When I came back to the livingroom and sat down, he was mumbling. I couldn't hear him, so I asked him to repeat it.
He asked, "Am I hungry?"
I asked, "Why are you asking?"
He replied, "Because I'm hungry."
What happened to his demanding nature?
I sneezed hard.
My father said, "Bless you!"
I sneezed again just as hard.
My father said, "Bless you! I'm practicing to be a priest...."
Um....no, Mom. It's not. And we're NOT watching it. Then I had to explain why. She just kind of looked at me and said, "Oh. Ok." and went back to watching TV. LOL