You just have to laugh sometimes.....
Some of my recent favourites are:
"I had a terrible night last night. I had to stay awake .. until I went to sleep" (said several times over, with greater emphasis each time, because of course if you repeat it, then it must make sense.)
"drinking water causes gas, so no water, and no salt, cause salt makes you drink water"
"the toothpaste took all the enamel off my teeth in just 3 days!"
Luckily no one believes her!!
Just waiting for the cops and FBI to show up at my door!! YIKES!!
Dad, who is comfortable in this temperature, his skin warm to the touch, replied calmly, "It's all in your head."
I replied, "Just wait. When it's your turn to complain, I'm going to say that to you."
Hours later, 11pm, my dad exclaimed, "It's so cold!"
I calmly replied, "It's all in your head."
He looked at me, and burst out laughing so hard, stuttering the words, "It's...all.. in ..your...head."
Mom: I feel better since I'm not cray cray anymore
That was halirous I laughed all day
Mom has been concerned that she can pay for this dental work. So, at the end of the dentist's speech, she looked at the dentist and me and summed it up as, "So, if I get my teeth pulled, I could die? Fine, then I won't have to worry about how I can pay for it!"
She had only a half smile as she said it. :-)
Tonight, I was looking at his table. Something seem off. I gasped and exclaimed, "Dad, there's no ants! Where did the ants go?" I then went to the wall where they usually travel. "Nothing! No ants here, either."
Dad replied with a very straight face, "Maybe they went on vacation."
Um....no, Mom. It's not. And we're NOT watching it. Then I had to explain why. She just kind of looked at me and said, "Oh. Ok." and went back to watching TV. LOL
I sneezed hard.
My father said, "Bless you!"
I sneezed again just as hard.
My father said, "Bless you! I'm practicing to be a priest...."
When I came back to the livingroom and sat down, he was mumbling. I couldn't hear him, so I asked him to repeat it.
He asked, "Am I hungry?"
I asked, "Why are you asking?"
He replied, "Because I'm hungry."
What happened to his demanding nature?
This week, at her doctor's office, the resident came in before the main doctor to ask these questions. When he asked what clinic she was at, she just looked-down at his lab coat and read what it said. She was so obvious about it, that he was taken a little aback. She then told him, "Why should I go through the trouble to remember that when it's easier just to read it off your coast?" That's where he had no response.
I go home, tell him the situation. He now thinks he's paying $86 a month for the TV .
No-No. NOT the TV, the Cable!
Why is he paying $86 every month for the TV? They can come and take the TV back.
No, not the TV. The Cable! Anyway, nevermind the TV. I just need you to call them up and say you're cancelling it. They will ask for your birthdate and social security number.
He looks puzzled and then said,"I have a birthdate. I don't have social security."
"Yes, Dad, you Do have social security."
"No, I don't have social security."
I give up!!!! He will just have to continue to pay for the cable service.