You just have to laugh sometimes.....
Some of my recent favourites are:
"I had a terrible night last night. I had to stay awake .. until I went to sleep" (said several times over, with greater emphasis each time, because of course if you repeat it, then it must make sense.)
"drinking water causes gas, so no water, and no salt, cause salt makes you drink water"
"the toothpaste took all the enamel off my teeth in just 3 days!"
Another one is that my father-in-law asked my husband last night if he was his husband!
Father was also looking down. He said, "Ew! Is that poop! It stinks!"
I replied, "Yep, it sure does!!!"
I responded......'It IS close, It's the DISHWASHER!"
Yesterday, I took Mom for what is called a Light Field test. The test subject stares at a fixed spot and lights flash all around the peripheral area. The subject is supposed to click a button each time they see a light flash. But Mom couldn't wait and started clicking like a wild maniac. Here's the exchange between her and the tech doing the test.
Mom: (clickity clickity clickity clickity clickity ...)
Tech: You don't have to click until the test starts.
(Mom stops clicking)
(tech adjusts the headrest)
Mom: (clickity clickity clickity clickity clickity ...)
Tech: No, not yet.
(Mom stops clicking)
(tech adjusts the light)
Mom: (clickity clickity clickity clickity clickity ...)
Tech: No, not yet.
(Mom stops clicking)
(tech does something else)
Mom: (clickity clickity clickity clickity clickity ...)
You get the idea. It was hysterical. I'm glad it was dark in there because I couldn't keep a straight face. A couple times, I did the old cough-to-hide-the-laugh-thing. I can't believe I held it together through that. It was the funniest thing I've seen in ages -- it could have been a comedy skit.
Then later, she told me she'd lost her marbles, and if I found them, I was to give them back.
"My daughter knows all these things to do (changing address, getting a new bank, etc...). I don't know all this. If I didn't do this, could I be arrested?"
The banker and I both responded that that wasn't going to happen. I added that the state probably didn't watch for people to sneak-in from other states all that closely. Mom didn't seemed especially worried, more curious, I think. I wonder if she was hoping for a little excitement? Who knows...
My 84 year old mom with Alzheimer's aghast with unbelief and her face screwed up said: It is better she had thrown out the beans and serve the water.
Dad: I don't know how to make it. Do you?
Dad: Im leaving this place and Im never coming back. (Walks out the front door).
Dad: I think Ill wait till it warms up a little.