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Midkid; I just want to extend (((((hugs))))) and good thoughts for the appointment this week. I have no words of advice or wisdom; I just want to tell you that I value you and that I think that you are awesome!!!!!!
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I'm not sure why, but, most people that I know of do NOT wear their hearing aids. Which is sad, since they are very expensive. So, I haven't pushed for my dad to go back. He went for testing about 5 years ago and they said he didn't have a problem. lol Of COURSE he had a hearing problem. That was obvious, but, the place said no, so.........lol. We gave up and I doubt, we'll suggest another test.  I'm not sure how he cheated on the audio test, but, he must have.  Even then, he had substantial difficulty with his hearing.  Go figure. 
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Midkid: Good, I am glad that you scheduled the appointment for him. As a one aide wearer myself, when my hearing aide ceases to work because I need a tube change out (they have to remain pliable in order for the aide to function), I get myself to the audiologist stat because without it, I am like a person without their prosthetic limb, i.e. I am not whole.
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Hope this helps - tell him that if he gets an up-to-date hearing exam & it shows he has severe hearing loss then there is a chance to get those tickets reduced so you have made the appointment to help save him some money - it is worth a shot - why don't you see if you can have one at same time to show him it is what everyone does now-a-days
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I've HAD my hearing checked, and I actually can hear at the level of a 12 yo..meaning I can hear pitches much higher than a "normal" 61 yo can hear.

It's a mixed blessing, for sure. I have to sleep with earplugs b/c I DO hear everything.

Life is very weird, for sure. At least DH is giving me zero pushback on the appt. He doesn't know yet that I am going with him. Just to take notes as he cannot hear and won't listen to the doc!
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My father always kind of marvels when he puts his hearing aids on and can suddenly hear things. But he forgets to put them on every day. He puts on his glasses first thing. I tell him we will converse when he has the hearing aids in because I am tired of repeating things. He fought the hearing aids initially but it was gratifying when he started participating in the conversation again. Took years off him. I can't imagine not wanting to check out a tool that might help you at work. They tell me the technology has significantly changed even in the last three years!
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One thing to think of - people with moderate dementia might appear to be experiencing a greater hearing loss when it is their comprehension that is going. The audiologist can test for this but they can't do anything for it.
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invisible: I hear ya! My son-in-law's mother has 2 hearing aides that she keeps in a drawer. Very frustrating for my son-in-law and daughter. Glad to hear that your LO is more cooperative than not.
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Thanks again---
The apt is for MARCH 28th, not today, darn it!! But I've waited over 30 years, another 28 days won't matter :)

DH went to his mother's the other night to fix HER hearing aids. She's completely deaf. I think sitting with her, trying to communicate he began to feel an inkling of what I experience. Her TV was on so loud it was bothering HIM.

I had not told him of the apt before he went to his mothers'. He was complaining about the frustration of trying to "help" her and how bad it was, she was so clueless and out of touch with the world--and so on. I let him finish his rant and then dropped the bomb that I had scheduled a visit for him. He took it really well. I think he "might" finally be adapting to the idea that maybe he has a problem.

He IS taking the dementia/deafness combo to heart. He is very proud of how smart he is, and to appear to be "dumb" just b/c yo missed the aural clues....well, this was a lot easier than I thought.

Just hoping and praying for a "good outcome". If not, and he cannot he helped, we will all learn sign language.
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Fingers crossed, Midkid! You picked a brilliant time to “lead the horse to water.” 😃 

You are one tough cookie — and also warm and perceptive. Keep your boundaries up. Keep being kind to yourself. 

Either hubby’s intellectual vanity will get the ball rolling....or the accountability will fall squarely where it belongs. On him! 

We’re rooting for you. 👍🏼
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Midkid - the way you describe DIL, she has a brain, but certainly no heart.

What makes her and your son think you can control your husband and make him do what you want? He's not a child. Ask them if you can make them do something they don't want? If no, then the same goes for your husband. They certainly got brains but not using them logically.

And don't be intimidated by her (or her dr. degree). She's got knowledge, but no heart, no logics, and no respect. A far from perfect human being (just like a lot of us.) See her for who she is and don't be afraid.
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PolarBear--
Well, as I said, I really DO love my DIL. She is one tough cookie--came from a family where NOBODY ever graduated HS--and went on to serve in the Navy, get through Med School and residency AND 4 years of navy service and have 4 kids in the mix.

She just doesn't suffer fools. My hubby wishes profoundly that I was just like her. Well---she is tough and she IS amazing, but she is very, very cold. Loving to those whom she cares for but doesn't bother with the rest of us. I met her twice before she left for Yale, figured I'd never see her again--and well, life happened. She and my son dated cross country for almost a year, he got accepted to Law School and they married and left. Haven't lived within 700 miles of us since. I really lost my son when he got married. It happens.

I'm not intimidated by her MD, I'm intimidated by he amazing ability to get everyone in her path to do what she wants, me included.

And she full well knows I cannot control my hubby. My son is 100% in his wife's thrall, and that works for them.

On the good news side--I budgeted for hearing aids (hoping that hubby will get them!) and priced them at around $3-5K. Then hubby said to check with insurance--and lo and behold, they are covered!!

Ironically, a liver transplant would be covered 100% under this insurance. When hubby had his in 2006, we were out $250,000 when all was said and done. Life, go figure.
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Midkid - I hope you will always be on your DIL's good side.

I don't understand why hearing aids have to cost so much, $3-$5 K. The latest iphone is a powerful technological mini computer and can do a zillion things and still cost 1/3 of the hearing aids which only have one function. If I have to guess, prices are so high because there is no real competition, and the manufacturers can charge the insurance whatever price they want.
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Midkid,
Your story resonates with me. I feel like a parrot!
Concerns these last 2 days, he has started a new behavior, says he did not hear me.
I think it is psychological.
Even so, will get his hearing checked.
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PB--I try to stay on her good side. I have an ok relationship with her and that is good enough.

I don' know why these hearing aids are so pricey either, but if hubby needs them and can benefit, I'd sell a kidney for him to get them!

Sendhelp--

All I can say is "good Luck". I've been screaming for years now, until hubby decided he would see an audiologist, it's been a constant battle, and I am exhausted.

Oh, and yeah, married for 42 years? He has tuned out the sound of my voice 100%. Sadly for him, all 4 of my daughters and I have the exact same voice--and when we're together it's worse. The poor sons in law--stereophonic "wife voice". (We're all very, very nice, but very very loud.)
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BTW - be sure the doctor checks your loved one's ears for wax as well. It can be a great contributor to failing hearing. And if you aren't aware of it already if your family member is in an ALF and needs wax removal, by all means get with the concierge as there is normally someone that comes in (for a fee of course) on a regular basis that can take care of that so you can skip a trip to the doctor.

I know it's a lot when caring for Mom, Dad, or another family member, but my not-so-eloquent brother once told me, "Mom wiped our butts for years, it's time for all of us to do the same and show her the respect she deserves." And after raising 6 of us on a shoestring budget, he's right.

While it's difficult, and they don't seem like they are your parent(s) anymore, do the best you can. Remember the Baby Boomer generation is the largest single group of aging people on earth and there's not enough help or $$$to go around. Enlist family, friends, and scour the internet for resources. No one gets out of life alive, so try to make the best of it and the time left you have with the person who cared for you.
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Tell him it's part of his annual check up, period, the end!
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robinr - there can be a delay sometimes posting, but in your case there is a post on Feb 26 regarding Costco, so it did post at some point. I was skimming through the messages after the latest post brought this thread up again. With "Newest First" selected, the post in question is on "Page" 3 (currently)

All - just my preference, but I'm not liking this "Newest First". Sure, I can change it to "Oldest First" but would prefer it to default to that. Newest is nice if you only want to see the most recent posts right away, however more often I don't get to these posts right away and I like to read through other's comments first before getting to the most recent ones - that way if I want to post something, I know whether someone else has already said it, how OP has responded, if anything new has developed, etc and can just back up the comment rather than repeating a similar comment. Normal progression of discussion from start to finish... I don't read books from the back to front cover!!! On a positive note, at least I can change it to Oldest...
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I remember your post. I also know how you feel. I am a talker too. I tend to go into "storys" giving background info for what I really want to say. My SIL even said something our last visit about my "little stories" in a way I knew she didn't appreciate them. My DH is deaf without his hearing aid. He has maybe 30% hearing in his right ear when wearing the aid. No hearing in his left. He has worn hearing aids most his life. We very rarely socialize with other couples because its hard for him to follow conversations. When we go out and run into people we know, I talk. When DH has said something, I tell him its my social time. I too, talk to loud at times. I just say, sorry, I live with a very hard of hearing husband.

When you talk to your husband, don't scream. Talk normally and when he says he can't hear tell him you r not going to scream. Only tell him what he needs to know. When you do talk, stand in front of him and look into his eyes. Make it short. When the time comes for the appt, tell him to do it for you. In 30 yrs things have improved a lot with hearing aids.

DIL, I understand intimidation. You could have apologized for the talking and said "sorry, guess its from living with an almost deaf person and no socializing" Also, I think talking too much is a nervous thing. As a Dr. she should understand that you cannot make a person do what they don't want to. I have a SIL like ur DIL and I very rarely visit her. I am always waiting for the shoe to drop. Doctors and teachers have "that way of talking" like they r talking to one of their patients or students. The two phrases I know you are a teacher, "this is unacceptable" and "there has been an incident".

It would be awhile before I visited your DIL. I really think she is disrepectable. You are her MIL. When asked why u haven't visited tell her, you really don't feel welcomed there. To say, we love having you but...is kind of contradictory. I bet you would never think of saying anything like that to her or anyone. Your feelings should mean something to her.

Its late here on the east coast so saying good night.
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Sorry, just wrote all that and the post is from Feb. Oh well. Hope you got him to the ear dr.
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JoAnn29 - Hah! That is why I commented that I did not really care for the default to be "Newest First" - it is nice to have that selection, so that if you get an update you can get to that quickly, but I think it also adds a level of confusion. No need to apologize though - your comments might help anyone in this situation. Some of your suggestions cover other issues brought up, so they could be useful to OP.

Midkid58 - now that it has been several months, what was the outcome? Did your husband go to the appointment? Were they able to help your husband? Hearing aids or other options? If hearing aids, how are they working for him? If no help available (some hearing loss is not correctable), other suggestions from the "experts"?
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