I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
the social worker is not helpful for paperwork for the most part because I have already handled all that. I don't really know what purpose she serves...Today, right in the middle of our visit, her husband called and I could hear the conversation on the phone...she told him, is this important I am with a client...and I heard him yell very angrily.."yes it is important, I have had a wreck"..so she arose pretty angrily, excused herself and had to go retrieve insurance information for him out of her car...she is always asking...is there anything I can do for you? I know she means well ( at least I guess she does) but I often think in my head..yes you can leave me alone until I call you.....but that would be mean I guess....so the day came and went...sporadically interrupted by folks I could have done without...
And regarding the family stuff that drives me over the edge...I have decided that dynamic just is what it is ...there is no fixing something that other folks have no desire to fix and do not intend to help anyway. So I will putter along, enjoy my time with Mama and just let the chips fall where they may....feeling kind of pffft..tonight...
Whine: Mom is *not* doing so great since we came back from our 2-week "vacation" from the house. (Not really a vacation for me, had to work and take care of mom the whole time, but we were at a lake, so there was that, anyway!)
Memory issues are getting worse by the day, it seems, and so are the resistance issues - today she refused to go to the bathroom before she laid down for a nap, and hadn't been for a few hours. I felt her chair paid - wet, just as I suspected - and then noticed the back of her pants were also wet. I informed her of that and she *very* reluctantly went in and used the bathroom and changed her clothes. (sigh) Then she came out and said she'd try to listen to me better in the future. (Pretty sure that's *not* going to happen..but it was nice of her to say so!) She can no longer feel when she's wet or having an accident. One more step down that long road....
Pat on the back for me: I did Mom's feet today, complete with toenail clipping, foot soak in tea tree oil/epsom salt solution, scrubbing of the crusty "gunk" on her feet (which has been there for years and doc says is "just old age" - I think it's a fungus!), and then followed up by a thorough scrubbing on the "gunk" with a pumice stone and another soak. Going to kill that crap if it kills ME...and it just might, given that dealing with feet just grosses me out!
aids and evertbody visited my mom but she needed the female companionship , was well aware she didnt have long to live and didnt mind the visits .
finally , im tiling my new sink counter top tonight .camera up the azz tomorrow so bisacodyl tabs and 2 gallon of colite tonight . i wont complain. it sure beats death from azzrot . its a big killer in this country .
In my household, my sig other and I both have high blood pressure, and I hate to cook. So on those days when neither of us feel like cooking, we use Lean Cuisine, it still has sodium but the amount is noticeably less.
The social worker can be useful in that she can help with any paperwork as in applications for things like Medicaid. She also comes to see how you and mama are doing emotionally and if all is right in your world. You do not have to tell her anything personal. they also council patients about their upcomming death or a move to N/H if that is upcomming. Other that that don't answer personal questions. Being in hospice does not give them the right to be nosy. just tell her you prefer not to discuss that. or may be get out a duster and start cleaning or excuse yourself to put a load of laundry in. They do like to spend some time alone with the patient so give her that chance. Try and set a time for the next month. Perhaps they will bring some one from the funeral home too. We had one funeral director who used to send birthday cards or even a few flowers to hospice patients he knew. His own dementia was pretty far advaced by then too. He also had a habit of collecting the deceased before anyone had a chance to notify hospice. One day he went into the patient's room and we heard a terrible wailing, sounded like extreme pain. I rushed in thinking the patient was not really dead and there he was on his knees beside the bed. I think they eventually pulled his license, he's dead now anyway
Seriously, as in sincerely I mean, what good intention do you think they have? Are they meant to be there principally for your mother's benefit, or for yours, or what?
She also asks for clothing that she already has. Wants winter boots, already has 2 pair. Asks for piddle pads, already has 2 packs of 39 in the closet. It never ends.
Quite what your cousin imagines is going on… Sigh. Mind you, bearing in mind this is her mother that you're looking after we're talking about, how does she even have a leg to stand on?
God, give me strength. Her forgetfulness is reaching new levels in the past 5-7 days, I've noticed, and it's hard to see her like this.
Has this happened here before?
I am getting some help from local daughter and son and DIL, but it's hard to ask for such simple help like emptying dog food from a new bag and/or bringing something up from the lower level - guess I am just too used to getting it done on my own. One neighbor calls me "too proud" to ask for help. She says this in a very nice way.
Two gentlemen (God Bless them) neighbors are still cutting our 4 acres of lawn and will soon be sweeping leaves that are falling from those plus 200 trees we planted 26 years ago. You shall reap what you sow, so they say. But, golly we have enjoyed their beauty and I really have enjoyed the mowing and sweeping - better'n dusting and vacuuming.
I guess I should be thankful my injury did not happen a couple of years ago... The story would have been written very differently for my sweetie.
Thanks for all your encouraging support - 'love you all..
if my boys ever adopt anything ive tried to teach them id want it to be finesse and good manners . only in the spirit of humility and self improvement can those attributes thrive .
Plus, I am unable to take care of my trust paperwork since I cannot walk for more than a few minutes and just trying to gather what I need for a meeting with our trustmaker seems impossible.
Our daughter who is helping me with this lives 4 hours away and is needed at home just now..
I thought trusts made it easier to settle death claims, etc.. I guess we will just have to meet via a phone consult. I do not want to get in trouble with the IRS.
That's my whine for now - or should I say - my several whines..