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My whine is, I'm going out of town for the weekend to see my in-laws. My mom hasn't been feeling well and she told my sister I was going away and my sis told her if she needs something to call. That's nice of her, but how about my sis saying " I'll come to see you " ? I feel guilty about going away and I hate that!!!
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FF the female dr does that in her spare time.
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Litldogtoo, what I like about my parents geriatric doctor is that she takes into consideration my time and tries to limit repeat visits. Plus, when I am in the exam room with my parents, she will ask my parents a question then glace at me to see if I nod yes or shake my head no.

My parents had a good doctor prior but he went into the MD-VIP program and my parents didn't want to pay the annual fee to be part of that program. Sad because my parents could easily afford the program. And that doctor was so good with them. Their current doctor was recommended by their prior doctor, but [gasp] the doctor is a woman.... my parents generation they were use to all the doctors being male. My Mom feels the doctor should be home having babies.... [sigh].
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LitlDogToo - Mom has moved into the "repeating" phase of dementia now, because she doesn't remember that she told me something 5 or 10 minutes ago, or that she's said it 10 times today. She swears Jake Gylenhall is in a commercial she just saw - how she even knows who he is, I have no idea, because I don't think she's ever seen him in a movie, but every time that particular commercial comes on, she swears up and down it's him (which is about 4 times a day). Then it's the newer commercial with Johnny Cash singing in the background - and every single time, she asks, "Isn't that Johnny Cash singing?" - again, about 4-5 times a day. Some days, I think I should just make a recording of myself saying, "yes", over and over. LOL
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FreqFlyer - a good geriatric doctor is a Godsend! Make sure they are Board Certified in Geriatrics. I believe it is going to be a requirement soon.
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My husband is very angry at me right now.I have no idea what triggers it.Now he thinks i'm doing (something) on the sly.
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im annoyed . its rained here for 3 days so ive been using the time to do important home projects but ive not visited aunt edna . i know she'd approve of me getting my life back in order but ill bet shes worried about me . whomever is keeping us from leaving nh is killing us . edna could have sat here and cut up apples with me and had a great time . i wont give pia the satisfaction of seeing my disappointment but i dont wish particularily good things for her in the future .
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My mom loves wheel of fortune.. and tells me dad does too. But i have discovered he really likes old Bonaza shows.. So if she is reading I put Bonanza on.. then she remembers he likes Wheel of Fortune and the "crazy people and cars"... LOL I however do not remember what I like to watch anymore
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Heh yeah, they do eventually forget what TV is about. Heck, I can barely watch Wheel of Fortune, without her having bad thoughts. I stopped explaining and started winging it... works for, works for me. sigh

\it is so nice and cool outside... I want to take my big siddie pittie for a much needed walk. HA! I have put everyone on low cal food!
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I go out for a short walk (raining) w/the dog leaving my mother in LR with tv. FIVE MINUTES....I come home with wet dog and this is how it goes:

Mom: I shut off the fan
Me: Why
Mom: It was going fast
Me: Didn't I ask you not to touch anything that you don't know about (this is a ceiling fan operated wirelessly by wall switch which she doesn't know how to use, messing up the entire light fixture)
Mom: I forgot
Me: I thought you were watching tv. Are you watching tv or the fan?
Mom: I'm watching the fan
Me: Do you want to watch tv or the fan?
Mom: I want to watch the fan.

This is where I take the deep breath, close my eyes, and remind myself that it's not reasonable to try to talk reason to a person with dementia.
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one morning many years ago i was peein off the upstairs balcony when the youngest son walked out the back door to pee . since him and i had both doors occupied , the older son whizzed out the front door .
our bathroom was real pretty but the outdoors was prettier .
i visited the old house over the weekend . many funny memories . the aforementioned bathroom had a brick floor outside the shower stall so one could step out soaking wet and the brick would absorb the water . the window was covered with a film for image distortion and the curtains were tied back living vines in a one piece steel , double planter box where a curtain rod would normally be located .
beautiful house for such a gaggle of maniacs .
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Xhausted.. I had to laugh about your "peeiing outside' comment. One of my friends recently discovered her 5 yr old son has been peeing in the heating ducts in thier house.. to the point they are going to have to replace the ductwork! So I guess it can always be worse. And that explains the smell when you visit. So outside sounds pretty good! We live in the country, and when my cousin visits with her grandson he always wants to pee off the deck. Hope you don;t have close neighbors...
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Freqflyer, that would also be my whine for the day. I'm getting tired of explaining again and again to one person in particular, that the reasons my mother is the way she is, is because she has dementia.
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My whine is how many people have no clue what to expect when their love one or parent has dementia/Alzheimer's or just plain old age decline. Then they act surprise when something happens. Thank goodness for this website so we can ask each other for advice.

I know I have learned a lot about memory issues so now I will understand what may or may not happen when and if my aging parents cross over to that illness. Or later down the road if my sig other or I start having those health issues.

I realize when we get older we don't plan ahead to learn about these things. I know whenever my sig other has a new health issue, we both scramble to learn more about it. And having an informative geriatric doctor is a godsend [my parents don't like their doctor but I do].
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My whine is always the same. Getup every day toame old thing. husband saying"oh sh*t -gotta get out of here". Have notime alone.Now I have to check to see where he goes to bathroom. Likes to pee outside.
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Ok so food is an issue for many of us. With my mom, she starts asking "what my plan is for dinner" at around 10 AM. And no matter what the meal is, she tells me to only give her a little...whatever I give her, she eats except a small amount which she asks me to save for later...The other side of this was that her weight was up a few pounds when she went to doctor and she argued with the nurse that the scale must be broken... :)
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Jeanette have you thought of one of those lights that they use for people with SAD (seaonal affective disorder) no idea if it works for sundowners but it might be worth a try. i wonder if we have any members in Alaska or elsewhere far north and what their experiences are with sundowners.
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well i do hope you've taken care of or at least acknowledged those chest pains?

Turning off all stimulating noises now, tippy toeing past her room avoiding those squeaky areas. thanks bud.... I appreciate all of your experience and valued opinions.
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As long as mom doesn't use that rope to climb out?

I guess, for a lot of us all of "this" means we take acception towards the stuff that used to bother us? Learning process? Growing process? Could be...

Not all dogs are filthy Bob I do respect your voice in this.... but c'mon, how awesome are puppies and puppy breath!

Patience must be learned grasshopper... this is your new learning experience Ha, sounded good to me :) I could spout many of those "you can't look a gift horse in the mouth", analogies........... but I won't (lucky you) mom is finally asleep after 5 attempts to get up and wander aimlessly around the house with glassy eyes not understanding anything... uh oh..just watched the nanny cam..... and here she issssss
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i think you maintain a great attitude for all that your dealing with jeanette .
i had a normal day today with the expected good and not so good aspects . i " aquired " an air foil off of a 93 camaro trunk lid thats going to morph into a bitchin wind cowl to go in front of my over - the - cab truck toolbox .
the not so good ; i actually had a few minutes of chest pains today while cutting wood and thinking about the audacity of that retard upstairs thinking she could drag those filthy animals of hers back into this house . i nearly lost my s*it living with that yapping and stench for 9 months and had not planned on ever revisiting this subject of dogs again . aside from this hassle , having someone upstairs is a great arrangement right now for them and myself both .
we have a rainy streak here too . having just bought a used kitchen sink and with my upcoming chicago trip , ill need to find no budget home projects for a few days . cant waste money -- mom would piss up a rope ..
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:) Thank you for the hugs Jesse, mom smiled when I told her, didn't understand but I was happy with the smile.

She's been taking the Exelong patch for at least 5 years, also 1 mg Resperidone and 40 mg's Citrapolam. It's all given during dinner, supposedly to help her sleep at night. Some day's she sleeps, most days she doesn't. It wouldn't be so bad IF she didn't always find herself in precarious places. Scooted up under the night table, scooted inside the closet, seem to be her favorite places. I'm sure it has to be scary and cold to sit there for how many ever hours. The nanny cam is up and running in her room, it has sound and an alert for movement so... hopefully this will keep her from sitting too long.

I appreciate everything cap, really... I'm sure it wasn't a walk in the park for you and I doubt it is now either. This all seems so surreal and like a awful dream at times.

The thing that get's me the most about my brothers, is their total absence. I don't care if they dislike me, surely they can't hate me enough to never question about mom, her health or whatever, just no interest at all?... as far as they know, she could already be gone and ..... crickets. whatever.... what will be will be, today was a great day for mom (even without much sleep). hehe, she even found her stash of her peanut butter cups!

Hmm, docs office called. Urine and blood all came back normal. Awesome! Now if I can just get this internal clock reset, it will be more manageable. She has another appt in a few weeks, I will ask for something stronger that hopefully will not affect her in the mornings.

Maybe I am getting scared of what eventually is going to happen. I haven't recovered from losing my dad ....maybe I'm losing my mind... maybe I am getting lonely and miss my friends and family in FL, since I have no one here... maybe it's just everything.

On a good note... the tie dyed shirts we did the other day, turned out fabulous. Tomorrow we shall bedazzle them up a bit since it's going to be raining for days :/
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my aunt isnt recieving any particular comfort meds at nh except something to make her sleep well all night . i dont think this is for the convenience of staff but for ednas well being . a good nights rest is crucial for all of us for the purpose of cleansing toxins from the body and restoring our energy . my moms last year of life wasnt a walk in the park for either of us so im just trying to share our experiences with you . . as far as your bros ? my sisters not only werent very useful ( even being paid to help ) but stood back and tried to cause trouble for me . moms end of life was a time of personal growth for me , a time for mom and i to bond like never before and ultimately their loss .. i hold no grudges , they just werent the best choice for what mom needed .. too pushy , a little thick between the ears .. the older one wanted to argue medicine with the docs . thats rather ignorant considering her only credentials is having watched a lot of ER episodes ..
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Jeanette, as strong as we like to be, sometimes we are not strong enough to carry the load you have. It sounds to me that wiping your mother out at night would not only be better for you, it would be easier on her. The only other options I could envision is to hire a second caregiver for either the daytime or nighttime shift or to place your mother in a facility. If you want to keep her home and can't bring someone in, medication is the only thing I can think of that will help you through this phase. This is miserable for her, too. Don't be afraid to help her rest.

I wondered which Alz medications she is taking. Some of the things prescribed don't help during later stages. If your mother is taking one, e.g. Aricept or Namenda, you may want to talk to her doctor about discontinuing them. I have a philosophy that the fewer drugs in people's system, the better it is unless we know something is helping. What medication is prescribed to calm her restlessness? If it is too much for her, perhaps her doctor knows a medication that will work better.

I feel so bad for you tonight. I wish we could help by doing more than sending you the biggest hug. I am wishing that your mother could sleep through the night, so that you could also. I know she is not going to get well, but this disease is so cruel to make it so hard. (((((Jeanette & Mom)))))
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be quiet i am pacing, hugging and comforting her, Her agitation is beyond her meds. too much wipes her out, apparently not enough wipes me out.

I did move the nanny cam into her bedroom so I can see what she's up o at 4 in the morning....

hospice? No Bob, no.... just not time for them.

as much love as i feel for my mother..... truly, the hatred for my brothers grows.
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heres an interesting comment from a dementia article in the mail online newspaper tonight . you can sure feel the commenters exasperation.

I have been a carer for 10 years, and spend 100 to 140 hours a week looking after my father as he slips deeper into the abyss. Being a carer is an extremely altruistic thing to do, especially for someone with dementia, but don't expect any sympathy or respect. Carers such as myself save the state a small fortune but are given nothing but contempt in return. Unlike carers, our leaders are greedy, self important, selfish liars. Lets face it if they gave a fig we'd receive a wage (even if it was only 1 pound an hour) not an allowance. To them we're just mugs that provide superior care on the cheap. The worst part isn't being on means tested benefits, it isn't the sleep deprivation or stress, it isn't watching my own home deteriorate or having people ask why I can't sell it to support myself. No, the worst part is the never ending abyss of loneliness.

Read more: dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2790362/uk-s-dementia-care-betrayal-nine-ten-care-homes-hospitals-fail-patients-says-damning-report.html#ixzz3FzjRTpM4
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i guess i was wondering why your doc hasnt prescribed hospice help for you . i guess thats a decision based more on medical diagnosis than behavior problems . its sure a tough job you have there . my mom got so unsteady on her feet that i had to pretty much pace with her the last few weeks of her life . had to nap when she napped and of course provide companionship and emotional support to her . it was a very intense time . you feel the loss a little each day and when they pass away you are so wrung out that theres not much to be said . a stunned silence .
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Cap,Yes, she's her doc at least twice a month, if it's dire, we head to the EC. I tried the Neurologist, she gave her stuff that made her worse. Drugs, especially the hallucinogenic ones do not sit well with her, If anything, they make her symptoms worse I do try and encourage her nutrition, her legs are almost to week to carry her and she's losing weight. Why would I not encourage nutrition?? If I do not sit with her and feed her, she no longer eats. That is not an option.

Terminal restlessness? No, I saw my dad go through that, this is different. She is moving constantly, yes, I mean non stop up/down/doors open/closed/here/there.. she takes the normal prescribed meds for AD. Really? Does other AD loved ones do this? I really haven't read much of this sort of behavior.

Winging it alone? Who do you suggest I call in? The Calvary? Ghostbbusters? My brother's whom we have not seen in months?

puuhhhleaze
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at the risk of sounding ( morbid ? ) , that sounds a little like terminal restlessness jeanette . not wanting food sounds like her systems are shutting down . that was certainly the pattern of my mothers last week of life . i didnt try to encourage nutrition for her because i knew her digestive system was so retarded that food backed up and caused discomfort . you dont mention doc much . at her stage im surprised shes not seeing doc twice a month . our doc clearly told me " were going to be seeing a lot more of each other " . why not hospice ? why not phsyc doc for phsyc comfort meds ? i dont understand why your winging it alone with someone so apparently late stage dementia ..
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Is my mother the only one that walks around talking to lamps, picking fuzz up off the floor, sitting on imaginary chairs ( yup, busts her butt) and asks a gazillion times a day "(insert your name) what's going on? When are we leaving"? One ad one all day.... man oh man.... really?... is my mother the only one that does this or am I just complaining about normal stuff?

I have seriously thought about getting some velcro for her and her chair. She simply will not sit still for 30 seconds and it's 1000 times asked, "where is her chair"?

I am breaking out in cold sweats... gulping air, .... crud, I hate to post such awful stuff but man, this is my life. I'm feeding her now as she just doesn't want to eat... make her drink a minimum of 3 ensure plus's a day... I am losing this battle.

Just having a rough day... I wanna tap my slippers and go home, but it's been 2 years and where the h*ll is home?
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i thought the oak ridge area was beautiful butterfly but gotta admit i never saw the town , only bike cruising along fontana lake. i couldnt deal with town living either . visited son last summer in chicago . after a day in his apartment complex i was congratulating myself for not pissin off of his balcony . without a hesitation he replied ; " yea YET " ..
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