I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
http://content.onlinejacc.org/article.aspx?articleid=1121737
Moderators: please leave the link for a day or two. It is the link to a serious journal article.
No not for buying the cigarettes or even smoking them. That was a temporary lapse. you will get over that.
The shame on you is for dwelling on the "What if I hadn't ever picked up a cigarette"-------------------- Well you did and you will stop again if it is important enough to you, so draw a line on the past and start moving forward. It's yesterday it's over, as Bob said it could have happened anyway.
send a text and email to everyone "What part of I've just had a massive coronary don't you understand? leave me the phuck alone to recover"
What you need right now is a couple of weeks at a health farm where you can have a daily massage, gentle exercise, light swimming, good healthy food, plenty of fresh air and no contact with the outside world. Could you afford this? how about wealthy brother paying? it would be a good investment for him. You have certainly earned it. I am sure Mom has declined it has only been two weeks and she was moved with no preparation in an emergency and has not had time to aclimatize. If you resume your duties don't be guilted into doing it at least for six weeks and only then if you feel strong enough. You have a lot of healing to do and that could take 6 - 12 months
ive bought two 30 packs of beer in the last 60 days . a bag of tobacco lasts me no less than 60 days . thats the equivalent of 3 cigarettes per day . i smoke it in a pipe . ya know what will probably kill me ? kidney damage from strong hepc chemo meds ive used years ago , maybe dementia in 25 years , maybe a deer hitting my motorcycle , maybe falling to my death from a tall chimney . if you want to give up tobacco i wish you the best of luck but im betting caregiving and maybe too much man made vegetable fat in your died have caused you more harm than tobacco . animal fat is an important nutrient in our diet but our bodies have no means of dissolving vegetable oils , bile wont even break it down . thats why i lean it out during each work day . my body gets hungry enough to burn fibered wheel bearing grease if it could get it . im not the poster boy for clean living but i could be for physically fitness .
I'm glad someone was here this late to give me a little support. Just a rough day. Mostly I feel better just getting things off my chest. Thanks.
Captain, oops, the link won't work.... anyhow, it was a restored red and black 1951 Chevy pick-up truck.
Awesome !!
Oh well.... guess he wants to feel useful and be outside for some fresh air. Might as well just ignore things like this, not worth being worried over.... [sigh]. If it wasn't for this website and some insight that I gained over the months reading here, I probably would have had a major meltdown seeing that mower outside.
My parents can get home delivery of groceries, sorry that delivery isn't free but that is how it is, delivery people aren't going to drive to their house for free. I will still place their order if they want, because I know Dad still is refusing to get off of dial-up and go high speed for the Internet.
As for their mail at the post office box, last time I went there there was one piece of junk mail, sorry not going across town for junk mail, if they want their mail, they can call a taxi or transfer all the mail to the nice mailbox at the end of their driveway.
The Glenn Campbell song had me in tears as well. Such a sad, yet awesome song. Thanks again for sharing and yes, it does put our situation in a better perspective, but... doesn't make it less difficult.
1butterfly, it would be wise to fill that script.. that alone will help ease some of the anxiety and even you out again. That and it sounds like you need a nice long break!
I am trying to get an appt as well for some meds to get my depression under control.
Today is a wash..again...had plans but the nurse who always comes in the morning didn't come til her last stop today BECAUSE IT WAS MORE CONVENIENT FOR HER..she said..ok that's great!!!!!! I know Hospice serves such a vital service BUT they have a ways to go on some of their workers regarding just popping in, taking up your time, etc. especially when you don't need or want them here...that has been one of the biggest things I have had trouble getting used to..I HATE HATE HATE losing my privacy and independence..HATE IT.....I have always been a very private person...so has Mama. We have never been ones to go and do and in some ways thank God for it as I have been more able to cope with being here all the time...but all these popper inners....just drive me up the wall....I just think they could handle that a little differently and it would be much more helpful..at least in my opinion.
JeannetteB...anxious to hear what you thought of the song too....the part where he says it's not gonna bother him to see you cry....wow, that hit home...and kind of explains that blank cold stare I get from Mama at times when I long so much to see the softness of her eyes again...and feel those hugs...she has slept most of the day today and while she seems comfortable, it really magnifies the loneliness.
Today my brother's ex Mother in law popped in at the same time the nurse was here and I can tell her mind is getting really bad...She was a mean old cuss in the days when my brother was married to her demon possessed daughter, but she has mellowed with time..but still every bit as nosy as she always was and still after money...she got going today ...AGAIN...about our lake house and wanting me to do something to keep my brother's current wife from taking it away from my nephews (her grands) in the event my brother passed first. I finally got sick of it and just told her flat out LOOK...there is not one thing I can do about any of that now...YOUR DAUGHTER will be the one to blame if that happens because she demanded it be theirs after my Daddy passed...so don't blame my brother or me...your daughter stuck her nose into something that was none of her business and things have a way of coming back on people. It's sad for me and my nephews but the only one to blame is your daughter. that may have been cruel, but I couldn't take it anymore...she finally grasped onto the idea and went home...