My "whine moment today." What's yours?

Ugh! FF, could you possibly get your lovely-sounding SO to field all calls from your parents for, say, a week? This habit they've developed of assuming you're the local Parental Support Service, and completely forgetting that you're a human being with your own needs, has just got to be broken, somehow. If he's willing, he could deflect all but non-urgent calls and put the rest on a 'get around to it' list for you. It would be an act of charity but also of preventive healthcare!

With a bit of luck, it wouldn't take too long for the message to filter through. A nudge towards, as you say, Plan B…

What's going on with that stone? They're not just waiting for it to pass, I hope?

Oh ff ...bless your heart. I feel for you re the panic attacks. I had one the other night and thought I was losing my mind. I usually can talk myself through them but they are the strangest things...knowing they will pass, but at the time you are having them they are beyond horrific. I hope you are feeling better and somehow able to get some rest....(sometimes I feel so stupid telling caregivers to get some rest...because how exactly do we do that??? ) take care friend...

Well, while driving to my volunteer work at a local hospital, I had a major panic attack.... normally I have minor ones and can work through them, but this one caught me by surprise. I had to call sig other to come get me, I was so rattled I couldn't go inside the building. We will pick up my vehicle early Sunday morning when there is light traffic, and when I have a side order of one tranquilizer for breakfast :P

Hopefully my parents will start figuring out Plan B, because I just can't drive them to the hospital for their various doctor appointments... this driving had been the source of my minor panic issues but now it's over the cliff, so to say.

My sig other had delivered their groceries this morning [from an on-line service I use]... and Dad told him that he wants me to take him shoe shopping because newer shoes would help his knee [which I can understand] but Dad keeps forgetting I have a current health issue with my back and with a kidney stone. Guess Dad has fallen into the *me, me, me* column now.... [sigh]

FF makes a good point, Flee. Has your MIL's weight been stable since she's been with you, or has it dropped off? Worth checking out, I'd have thought. At only 88lbs - unless she's knee-high to a grasshopper - she can't have much more to spare, poor love.

Flee, has your Mom been bulimic most of her life, or is this something fairly new? If fairly new, have the doctor check her for acid reflux, or some type of interference in her esophagus, or check to see if any of her meds might be causing this. I can't imagine someone her age having to go through that.

Hi, flee. My father had what we would now call Asperger's. He was able to excel at his job, but remained a stranger at home. I am glad that he wasn't difficult. He was a hermit who spent his last 20 years in a chair looking out the window. He was a brilliant man, just totally lost with people outside my mother.

I was shocked to read your MIL is bulemic at her age. I read one time that it does happen in the elderly. Do you think she is afraid to gain weight? I guess it is strange because we would guess there would be a point in a woman's life where being thin wouldn't be as important. I am surprised that someone with bulemia would live so long.

I am taking care of my mother-in-law....have been for two years. She was born in 1928 and no one really understood "Autism" back than....but she is on the Spectrum. My 15 yr.old son has Aspergers and NOW I know where he got it from. So....I am having to "deal" with both. I am very tired...My mother in law has Dementia and I she is also "Bolemic" throws up after eating....she weighs a whopping 88 lbs. I have to go back in the bedroom to make sure she doesn't throw up...just one more things for me to monitor in her life. I do not want to complain...I just want to talk, I guess....I am tired, and I guess that's all.

countrymouse,
back a couple months ago i stayed with edna for over a week so pia could get nh paperwork in order . paperwork wasnt getting done, but worse , on the night i required relief , pia's kid / g kids showed up from down south for some kind of ignorotic party . they took edna for only a few minute visit and i walked on them . pia got stuck with edna and the paperwork task for bout the next ten days . ive been jerked around by family caregiver relief in the past with my sis .
anyway pia is getting even by denying us from leaving nh . its pretty sick . edna needs to get out occasionally , docs orders , but its not happening . edna is doing well at nh but misses our country truck rides . nasty person , pia ..
linda,
i brought home twice or three times as many apples tonight . i have a lot of canning to do . id can them chopped up with peels on them but i made apple rice once with unpeeled cut up apples and it made the rice bitter . im not really familiar with a food processor . i dont want applesauce , i just want cut up apples for baking . i dont mind the labor on them . its reconnecting me with who i was 7 yrs ago before going to moms house to live . its helping me to get myself back . canning has been my hobby for 30 yrs -- and boozemaking .. both sons have the " kitchen " ( cooking ) bug too . feminism is going to women right square on the ass one of these days . we'll be making the whole top of the hill smell delicious while theyre out fixing OUR cars if they want to get into OUR pants . suckers !!

fligirl58, what I do if I find something to toss out from the freezer, I wait until trash pick up day and quickly put the item into the trash bag.... my sig other doesn't like to throw anything out that is past expiration, he says it won't kill you.... but I am of the old school of "when in doubt, throw out", and everything past expiration looks in doubt.

I have no patience today my kids have their packages sent here because there is always someone home a flat rate envelope came yesterday and I put it where all the other packages go. This morning I am going through yesterday's paper and I find the open envelope with nothing in it of course my mom denies opening it. I know I know I know she cannot remember it but does bother me. I cannot find the car piece anywhere even had to go thru the trash. Then she starts going thru the freezer to make something for dinner and she does not cook anymore. Or remember how to. There is a tone of unmarked meat that has been in the freezer do over a year and I said I was just going to throw it away. She if course said no your not she woke up teary and now she is back in her hot room instead of the a/c living room feeling sorry for herself. Yes I moved the mail to my room where all my kids packages will go but I am so annoyed and I feel that is wrong I need a break so bad and I just can't seem to get away. I know this sounds trivial to most buts it's bugging me. Thanks for listening. Oh should I just go thru the freezer when she is sleeping and throw all that meat away in hopes she will forget?

Jessie, an under-ripe banana is the best for a diabetic. Bananas are shipped up here still green, and never get as sweet as a field ripened banana. They do have 422mg potassium and Vitamins C and B6. Stuff she needs.

And one more note....when that day arrives...right now I feel like I am just going to stand up following the ceremony and scream at the top of my lungs..."Everyone of you may now go to H$$$. I think I have lost my mind. I'm sorry

Hi folks....peeping in to say hello ....I think of yall a lot but I am feeling like a dud these days. I am no longer interesting...I am not sure I remember how to be interesting. I used to be but no more...I can't get anything finished, so I just don't start anymore...I am living my life so I can feed Mama, clean up the pee and poop afterwards and then repeat every hour or so....eat, pee, poop, clean....eat, pee, poop, clean...God forgive me...I pray hard....I think I am in mourning....all she does is watch me..look at me...God I miss her so much...and I'm scared to say stuff like this "out loud" because I'm afraid God will take her away from me...and yet sometimes it is like He already has....I miss my mama so much.....and I just spend most of my day feeling ashamed of myself at how weak I have become...sorry I'm a downer...I guess that 's one reason I just dont participate in life anymore....my family has made it clear to me they are gone....and now here come the holidays...oh dear God, the holidays

FF my son tried to act the He-Man over this when his sisters were kicking up a fuss about taking their cod liver oil (I'd bought a bottle in a mini health drive I was having at the time) - he told them roundly not to make such a palaver over it, seized the spoon, gulped it down - and it came straight back up again! Mini health drive abandoned...

Ah ha, cod liver oil... I remember having that back when I was a kid... wonder if it helped any of us :P

Couple years ago I bought a bottle of cod liver oil and gave it a try.... OMG it tasted terrible, I don't recall it tasting that bad as a kid. Even the cat wouldn't touch it.

Captain, I'm impressed you're peeling all the apples. I'm going lazy this year with the apple haul - cut in quarters, cook down, run thru food mill.

Good morning!!

Boni, what about one of the new E Ciggs? They come in really nice packages and you can customize them for any occasion. Also the flavors are yummy and...and...you can choose the amount of nicotine put in them, slowly working your way down to nothing!!

Pure coconut water is loaded with potassium.... I drink it to keep my legs from wanting to move all night long!

Susan WOW!! Ive heard of spring cleaning but not fall cleaning.... ick. My dad has been gone 18 months today. Aside from a few items I gave to my brothers, it is all still here. His wallet sits where he left it, shaver is still in the drawer, so on and so on. Not an easy task, none of it.

I vaguely recall being made to drink cod liver oil? I also recall they used it to fertilize their tomatoes? Maybe they thought we'd grow better?

Cap, I saw a post on FB where this guy uses a drill to peel apples in a hot flash. Just impale the apple through the bit, take the apple peepler place on counter to support...turn on drill DONE!

Captain when we went off to school we all had tuck boxes brimful of supplies, for some reason always including a tin of Marvel milk powder (in case what???) and a packet of Ryvita crispbread. Come the end of term, ten weeks later, the Marvel had been eaten but most of the Ryvita was still there.

And the kids split into two groups at bed time - the ones whose parents had ticked malt extract and Haliborange tablets to have with their milk, and the ones whose parents had ticked cod liver oil. We felt doubly sorry for the latter because not only did they have to swallow it, but also it clearly meant their parents hated them. Although of course there were a few of us (sigh) whose parents hadn't got as far as sending the form back at all…

So what does Edna's POA imagine you're going to get up to on your drives? She's not thinking some kind of Thelma and Louis scenario, is she? Another POA lesson for us all: be REALLY careful who you pick for the job.

and pam , i well remember being fed busted up cigarette butts as a kid to kill intestinal worms . we were given cod liver oil too . potato soup wasnt keeping us healthy enough i guess . the two girls battled the tablespoon full of cod oil . it was fact that id drink the whole dam bottle full if they let me . we were hungry - ish more than a few times . id eat a stick of butter , drink ketchup or milnot at the drop of a hat . our situation wasnt unique , the majority of people were poor -- not much safety net in place .. bethany indiana is the poorest per capita town in indiana to this day . aint really a town , its a few squatter shacks around a long defunct brickyard ..

pams advice is as crazy as always and just as accurate . when i spent a couple days in the va stress unit , ( lost mind , hepc meds broke it ) , i didnt care to walk a half a mile to the outside for a smoke so i took a small pinch of cigarette and used it like skoal . i got wired like a japanese radio and in fact had to spit it out in a few minutes . my heart rate was as high as a complete cigar would have caused . ive used skoal in the past just for kicks . its just as powerful as meth. so , to my surprise , was a bit of cigarette tobacco . i wouldnt hesitate to orally ingest it if i had to quit smoking .
i found out from loose lip cuz terry tonight that the only thing keeping edna and i from our drives is indeed PIA . not only im not upset about it , im quite relieved that it wasnt aps or nh who caused this atrocity and im deeply satisfied now that altho unable to discuss the details with me , all involved can see that this is vindication on pia's part and petty jealousy on cuz terrys part . they are hurting edna badly but edna sees thru them like they were jellyfish .. sometimes they embarrass her at nh with their phony overcompensation . they attend the family conferences , i dont . the meetings must be laughable to this extraordinarily professional staff . everybody is connected . they know pia made me choose between 24 - 7 with edna or my visit with g - kids . theres no contest , i made the best choice , even edna gets that ..
geez, back to peeling my apples for a while . i have a metric f*ckload of them ..

Bananas are very high in sugar, so have to be consumed sparingly by someone with diabetes. My mother can eat half a banana and her blood glucose soars. I don't know how much banana is a good serving for someone with diabetes. Does anyone know?

Boni, when you are recovering you need potassium. Peel a ripe banana. Wrap it in plastic wrap. Freeze it. Bananasicles are yummy.
Jessie, eating one cigarette won't kill her. But it will get rid of pinworms and tapeworms. LOL

Boni why not do one of the other sins on your do not list. How about a cup of coffee. It is hard to give up everything all at once. Think of the benefits I went from a size 16/18 down to a 12. of course my skin looks as though it needs ironing. No salt no fats, less sugar watch the dairy,loose the grapefruit. No dark colored fruit and depending on the last blood tests glutin free. It goes on. Take calcium vit D and maybe iron. Eat healthy , no tea or coffee leave the alcohol alone. plenty of protein to rebuild the muscles. This test and that test maybe you need heart sugery, what about haveing your aneurysms repaired. NO NO NO forget it I AM NOT DOING IT AND YOU CAN'T MAKE ME. Stamps foot. Sin a little bit Boni but just a little bit. I still climb ladders when no one is looking.

Susan, some day I will be doing that, sorting out old papers. My Dad [93] likes to cut out newspaper articles and put them into notebooks.... my Mom has been after him to clean out those notebooks so now around my Dad's recliner and his desk in his office it looked like a dozen filing cabinets had thrown up :P

Earlier this week I stopped in to see my parents, I volunteer to retrieve items that had fallen around Dad's desk, his computer, and his recliner: pieces of newspapers.... old photos the size of a large postage stamp [gosh people must have had excellent eyesight back then to see what is in these photos].... couple pencils.... paper clips... small ruler.... large magnifying glass that slipped between the cushion and arm of the recliner... twist tie.... couple blue Aleve... pocket size notebook [Dad's been looking everywhere for that].... and an old remote from a TV they no longer have.

It's like "American Pickers" on a small scale :)

CM, I think I've just about beat myself to a pulp this week...

(oops, had to get mom in the shower, back now...sigh)

I'm running behind on getting everything ready for this weekend/next week, so I know I'm going to be all day Saturday and Sunday getting it done - last minute as always. I'm probably doing too much, but the way I see it, the cleaning of cabinets, etc needed to be done, and when this step of the renovation is done, the house will look so much better, and all the cabinets will be clean, oven clean, fridge clean, etc. I'll just be glad when it's done.

Back to shredding - then on to my desk and hopefully I can finish the kitchen tonight.

Boni, you wouldn't ever want to hate smoking, now, would you? - 'cos you would hate it if you tried it now. My goodness you would feel soooooooo ill. Do something else nice, preferably involving fragrance and not something you associate with a peaceful gasper. Are you allowed a soak in a (not too hot!) bubble bath yet?

It's like that old song - I'd rather leave while I'm in love…

Susan I'm exhausted just reading all that! And I thought I was doing so well with my sorting my flower pots today…

The man your mother knew before she married him and they had children and life - that should read Life - came along and blew it all up… he was a different person. She'll be missing all those other possibilities. It is heart-breaking. Can anyone help you with his room? Or perhaps you could put your favourite radio station on, or something like that - anything to make sure there are other voices keeping you company. Hugs.

Not really a whine, but more of a "how the heck am I doing all this?!?" kind of day...

We have renovations coming up this weekend and all next week (hardwood floors to be refinished), so I am in absolute panic mode getting everything ready for that and also cleaning out 40+ years of clutter from the basement. Mom just sits in her chair and watches me go through it all - she has no idea why much of it was kept now. My parents kept *everything*, like many folks of their era. Old clothes (underwear and socks included!), old boots, old books, old papers - oh Lord, the paper. I could probably build 15,000 pinatas out of the paper I need to shred. I've killed the little mini shredder Mom and Dad had, now I'll have to get another - and I'm not even close to finished yet. All of my late grandmother's tax papers dating back to 1982. All of her Medicare benefit statements. Copious amounts of handwritten notes - "Hi Honey, gone to the store!" or notebooks filled with little notes Mom wrote to herself, or journals that she started and never finished (saved those). Dad was a meticulous record-keeper and has kept *every* scrap of paper related to *anything* financial or legal over the years - so I have at least 20 years of old utility bills, medical bills, etc to shred.

Unfortunately, this house has a HUGE dampness problem in the basement, and anything made of paper down there has to be trashed, unless it's extremely sentimental - I'm trying to salvage as much of that as I can.

I told our trash pickup guys today that I owe them some cookies for all the extra crap I've been putting out for them to take! LOL

So far this week:
Oven cleaned; stovetop cleaned; refrigerator emptied, shelves taken out, all walls inside washed down, shelves washed down and fridge re-assembled; boxes and boxes of old basket-making material removed from basement and put out for the trash (all ruined by dampness in basement); bags of old blankets from the basement put out for the trash (someone came by and took them - she'll get an unpleasant surprise when she opens the bags - they smell of must/mildew!); cabinets cleaned out, Mom's old dishes washed (OMG - cobwebs from decades of hiding in the top of cabinets and not being used!) and put in totes to be stored; massive amounts of containers trashed (cottage cheese, take-out plastic boxes, etc - freed up a ton of space!).....and I'm not nearly done yet.

It might sound silly, but looking into the clean oven and the bright, shiny, organized and clean fridge makes me happy. Mom & Dad have lived in this house for over 40 years, and some things I have cleaned (like the cabinets) have not been cleaned in that time - ever. I will be very happy to get it all done.

I still have to tackle Dad's old room. He's been gone over 18 months and I still don't have that done yet. It's so hard. On one hand, it's sad - on the other, I'm so afraid I'm going to find something that brings very bad memories that my mind has blocked, flooding back. I have to remind myself that I can't help who he was, what he did, or why he did it - and that none of us kids did anything to deserve it. Mom cried today when I came across an old purse of hers that had pictures of Dad in it from the years before their marriage. I feel badly for her, but at the same time, I have to bite my tongue, because I want to ask her how she can possibly miss someone who caused so much pain to her children...but I don't. At this point, bringing that up would only cause *her* that pain all over again, and I won't do that.

Tonight, I'll get the kitchen finished, work on emptying my desk so it can be moved, and tomorrow, I'll work on Dad's room. I have to. That's where the furniture needs to go for the floors to be refinished. I hope I don't find anything that sends me reeling. I don't have time to deal with it right now.

Thanks for letting me vent a bit....I needed it. This week has been a whirlwind of "busy" and it's not going to get any better until I manage to get all of this done! Oh...shoot...I just remembered...I have to pay the bills tonight! (*falls off chair*)

Oh, my gosh. My mother was right. Something did need to be fixed. Where is that crow so I can start eating it?

No, don't eat them! It will make you sick as a dog from what I hear. Can people use any nicotine replacements after a MI, or is all nicotine a definite no no?