Follow
Share
Read More
Find Care & Housing
My whine is that the heart attack didn't kill me. I hope I don't feel this way forever, but I certainly do today.
(3)
Report

it had to happen sooner or later , im not young anymore . ( 56 ) . va sent a letter that says my kidney function doesnt look good . i feel its from the strong hepc meds and the fact that i just dont drink water . so im going to see what i can do about giving up tobacco and booze . im not taking up popcorn and ridiculous movies like liver doc suggested , id rather die today. oh yea i should stop scarfing every pill i get my hands on too . ive been doing well on most issues but if im going to live another 20 or more years id like for them to be healthy years . i have a list of my shortcomings in my head and im working on them . a functional kitchen is a small step towards eating better meals . i barely survived bipolar and dementia care with my sanity intact , its no wonder there are areas of self neglect. identifying my problems is a good first step imo ..
(3)
Report

I think I am just tired. Not so much physically, but emotionally. I was rubbing her head last night trying to calm her so she/we could hopefully get a decent night of sleep. Her face is becoming gaunt looking, sort of like my dad's a few months before he passed. Could one UTI cause this much deterioration? Talking to walls, chairs, tv... it's not even intelligible conversation either. She gets lost... stops in a corner and just stands there trying to figure out how to get out and where to go. She wasn't like this 6 weeks ago.

Nah, don't think I will be asking any of my brothers for anything. If they cannot see the obvious or have any emotion when it comes to their mom, who am I to bring it to them. They are my OLDER brother's. You'd think they would know better. Even if they dislike me....it is no excuse. None. Once upon a time a year or so ago, all 3 of them had the nerve to get mad at me for allegedly portraying them as "monsters' on FB. This is when they lied about where they were taking mom and left her unattended and she fell....black eye, bloody nose...and not one of them cleaned her up or got her ice, just drove an hour home for me to take care of. So... yeah, if the monster shoe fits... they wear it very well.

Lisa, my caregiver will be here tomorrow. We work well together and if need be, she is willing to extend her hours. Much better than my useless brothers. I once read a post on here... the person was asking if they should even notify the sibs if the parent passed away. At that time I thought it was an awful thing. Not anymore. It's as if she's already gone from their lives and they just keep going as if nothing matters. Sorry, I just do not get it nor do I want to.

Anyway, she enjoys going for rides now, so we shall do just that. :)
(0)
Report

Apparently the norovirus is rearing it's ugly head at Mom's NH and she's on modified lockdown (her word) until no one in her hall is symptomatic. She's able to be out of her room and in the hall but not to the common areas. This is a gnarly virus. Hoping and praying she doesn't catch it. Had to explain to my tenderhearted son that "no, you cannot bust her out for lunch." I hope this isn't a portent of what the winter illness season will be like.
(0)
Report

Oh! - now I remember. Feeling hugely frustrated and peeved about two other people involved in caregiving. I ought to be patting myself on the head for managing to keep my lip buttoned (it was touch and go) but since I nearly exploded from the effort I might as well get it off my chest.

Person 1 is a close friend, known her for thirty years. Her mother is 94 and lives alone in sheltered housing (like an ILF) in the Channel Islands - which I agree does make things a bit tricky, to be fair. This lovely lady, who is becoming physically frail but mentally is no more ditzy than she always was (bit of a butterfly), has been invited to a posh lunch in a good hotel. She is fretting about how to get there. Well, the island is tiny, and has cabs, and social workers, and paid caregivers, and this lady is not short of a bob or two. If it were me, I'd be on the phone to the nice key worker and get it sorted - book a caregiver for a half day, use a wheelchair, tell the cab firm they need a disability-friendly cab, no? She SHALL go to the ball!

But apparently that's all too difficult. No one is even going to try. And I think that is a pity.

Person 2 - Sister calls to report back, having been to visit mother in respite care - okay, full marks for communication, I'll give her that. But I had carefully "overlooked" the absence of a t.v. in mother's room thinking - heh-heh-heh - that if she didn't have one she would be forced a) to use her walker to cover the fifty feet or so to the residents' lounge and b) to communicate with other residents, i.e. risk having a conversation with somebody. Well hang it! - sister's only gone and got the maintenance man to bring in a t.v., hasn't she. Sigh. There goes my cunning plan.

I can now let it go. Thank you everyone :)
(2)
Report

Veronica, thank you - you've diverted me from my own whine (which was going to long and very whiney indeed). To cheer you up, let me remind you of how the darling NHS solves these problems with the story of the one and only time I felt sorry for Tony Blair.

It was decided - slogan: We're Listening! - that patients were having to wait too long to see their general practitioners. So the maestro, waving his sparkly baton, decreed that all patients must be given an appointment within 48 hours of requesting one. And lo! - it was so. All the performance statistics declared the new policy a complete success. Hurrah!!!

So we'd be grateful, right? It was at a pre-election Meet The Public televised event some time later that An Ordinary Person - who presumably had been allowed into the studio by mistake - patiently explained to him how this worked in practice. In the old system, you had to wait ages for an appointment. In the new system, you couldn't even request an appointment unless there was one available. You could be seen in an 'emergency' (whatever that might be), assuming you were prepared to sit in the waiting room until the Trump of Doom, but unless your GP had spaces in the next two days you couldn't request an appointment. You rang your GP and were told by the receptionist that you would have to call again tomorrow. And the next day. And the next day… Et voilà! - all patients requesting an appointment magically seen within 48 hours. Bambi gazed at her, his brow furrowed. Then you could see the realisation dawning in his petrified eyes "But… but… but… that's not what I meant!!!" The programme host swept on to the next question leaving Tony flicking worried glances back at the previous lady - he was obviously having difficulty believing what he'd heard but wasn't quite sure she was wrong. (She wasn't wrong).

I chuckled about that for days afterwards. Poor old Tone, I don't think encounters with the actual public, as opposed to the New Labour faithful, ever did do as much for his ego as he expected them to. The only speaker ever to be slow-hand clapped by the Women's Institute, bless him, quite a feat!

But it's not so much the cost as the sheer complexity of the US system that makes me almost tearfully affectionate towards the NHS. There you are, with double pneumonia or a broken leg or a recent cancer diagnosis, and guess what? - you get given a mind-blowing set of insurance, provider, exclusion, premium and terms & conditions calculations to figure out, presumably to take your mind off your health worries, and the only thing you can be sure of is that it's definitely going to cost you a packet for any treatment that you really need. Sweet of them.

There! - now I've forgotten what was bothering me before. I feel much better, thank you! :)
(1)
Report

I have been ranting had stem comming out of my ears for the past few days.
We have a Blue Cross PPO supplement Insurance to cover Medicare gaps. This works by money being given to blue cross to cover Medicare coverage. We still have the premiums for Medicare parts A & B deducted from our SS checks. Our monthly premium for 2014 is $118 for 2015 it goes up to $133 each. the co-pays are also up enough to discourage seniors from seeking needed care. This year a specialist co-pay is $25 per vist next year $40. Physical therapy this year $25 a session next $40. in 2013 when I was hospitalized the co-pay was $100 a day for 7 days, this year $175 for the first 5 days. In 2015 it will be $225 a day for days 1 - 5. for inpatient mental health it will be $325 a day for days 1 - 28. it goes on and on. so far I have only looked at one alternative which was United Health Care through AARP. Did not read beyond the first page because they do not cover pre- existing conditions for the first six months. I know they are not allowed refuse coverage under this plan but what the phuck!
We are extremely fortunate in that we can cover these additional costs and some years our medical expences do reach the 7% of income so they can be deducted from income tax. This will remain the same for 2015 but in 2016 the amount goes up to 10% What are people going to do. the threshold for free health care, the old medicaid is so low that no one could live on that income. Well they could but these days they don't know how and their grandparents who lived through the Depression all have dementia now or are dead. I know the Capt knows how and he is extremely fortunate to have VA medical care. When you hear about the unaccepible long waits for VA care remember it happens in the private sector too. it is not uncommon to wait six months for a specialist visit. Just a thought is someone trying to get rid of the "useless" older generation. i won't get political here so the admins can relax but everyone needs to research and ask questions. on this site there is a wealth of information and if you don't find an answer post a question. there is no such a thing as a stupid question. They all have value and usually someone has the answer. End of rant for the day!!!!!!!!!!!! Hugs to everyone out there who has it worse than me.
(1)
Report

There is a huge brain-bladder connection. Altered mental status in the elderly with UTIs is very common. Even with my husbands advancing Alz. the difference is dramatic. I relate to JeanetteB, three meals a day is daunting. R (my husband) is thin and loses weight easily and I continue to pack it on eating the same foods. His restricted diet of protein and very few carbs makes convenience foods impossible. Carbs trigger unrelenting hiccups (15 mo. and counting) but thats another story for another time. Captain, hang in there with the projects, I slogged thru mine and it was well worth it. Make a list of all the things you accomplish even the small things, post it somewhere and give yourself a pat on the back now and then.
(0)
Report

jeanette,
just anyone cant do what youre doing . even if your really good at caregiving it still taxes you for all your worth . take a moment to congratulate yourself .
freqflyer,
i like to joke about the usa sometimes but i still think the world looks to us for innovation . the usa just recently came up with the battery concept that can store and reproduce energy on the scale required to make wind and solar energy work full time . currently windmills are taken off line when theres an oversupply . we also have spy planes in the air over the uk right now eavesdropping for terrorist type chatter . google is fixing to provide satellite internet to the entire globe so maybe its best we havent spent billions on fibre optic cables coast to coast ..
jeanette, again , sorry your having such a hard time . id suggest trying to get any kind of help from your sibs that you can get . the job will become too much for even two people at some point . my oldest sis helped during moms final few weeks but it was wearing us both down emotionally ..
(0)
Report

I wish I may, I wish I might,
bring my 3 brother, heer tonight,
to see what I see, feel mom's plight,
omg, what an awful night. She feels me by
her, she knows my name, tomorrow, it's as if I never came.
For my mother, I will do, whatever it is, that I'm tasked for her, I promise above
If you doubt me or question my love.... where were you and the help from above.
Quick to blame quick to leave...haha, b*tch please.

Get on with your lives as we will ours... let mom rest, with her rendition of stars.. it's not up to you, for how she see's, just let her be, b*tch please.
(2)
Report

Captain, the problem here in the good old U.S. of A is that our kids aren't interested in math and science.... that is why Europe is so far ahead of us when it comes to new health products and new computer/cellphone technology.

Look at all the credit cards being hacked when used at Target, Home Depot, and other big box stores. That wouldn't happen in Europe because of their technology when it comes to credit cards. The banks here couldn't be bothered, too much work :P
(0)
Report

computers cost me a small fortune . i like how when you ask for help the pc tells you to go find someone with a brain or if your trying to run an old machine they tell you to buy a new pc . i even tried that . a new windows 8 . lasted 8 minutes , more or less and cost me 15 yrs of pics . its a love / hate thing .. weve now slipped to the 15th best internet system here in the usa . good god , bulgaria is running hs internet thru their water pipes . jordan has hs porn in CAVES . what are we doing wrong ?
my fuss for the day is ive been remodeling and havent seen edna for 3 days . i want to go see her this evening but ive had two shots of everclear . two shots of everclear does not a dui make but the aroma is enough to get bystanders clocked out of work for the day . contact high , lol ..
(0)
Report

Oh no, my computer was aging and I didn't know how to care for it. I had to bring in a professional to see what was happening.

The computer person [the group I called makes house calls] cleaned the inner workings of the computer, I had picked up a couple of computer viruses that were latching onto programs slowing them down, yada, yada, yada. He reminded me of Sheldon [those who watch Big Bang would understand].

After a couple of hours everything was back on track, but next year I will need to think about buying something new. Apparently 5 years is the common limit of a computer to work correctly. Been there, done that before. Cost per number of years is quite expensive for an *appliance*.
(1)
Report

got a lot done on the remodel today . aside from the new kitchen sink i have a 28 x 28 bread working counter . im drywalling the block walls as i move along cause although my block walls are thermal enough , they till absorb heat . the coffee pot should be enough to heat this bunker but the block walls are heat sinks .im right on time in making these changes before the weather gets cold again . ill cut my firewood use in half if i get these walls isolated from the 16 inches of concrete block .. ill probably live here in the basement the remainder of my , might as well get it nice ..
(0)
Report

Veronica, I do yoga every morning, lots of stretching. Need to modify some of the advanced moves. I just started doing this a couple of months ago but I do like it. I think my mom keeps forgetting about Dad unless I say something. I talked to him today and he sounds pretty good but needs a walker now for his balance. I am so sad for both of my parents. My mom and dad divorced about 40 years ago and she cannot stand him. lol. I don't know whats going on with mom, she seems so defeated. Hopefully we will be able to get some more pain management for her, I think that may be what is causing her to act worse. Again, nobody knows.
(1)
Report

Cap.... all I can say is you rock... I love your outward thinking. we all should be so just
(2)
Report

Sigh. There is NO liking on certain things.
My heart is heavy on Maggie's mother passing ... apparently the mods have let me cuss. Thank you mods. There are times when certain words work best.

I hate this shit!! Mom used to play shuffleboard. Dad called her shuffle queen for years.. Her trophies hang in her room ( unnoticed) she has no memory...

Just so you know. I have told my mom about this forum.... she doesn't quite get it, but she knows it helps. Some things stay forever, no matter what!

Sorry.... I am so rambling....I am not ready to lose mom
(1)
Report

guess im going to bed . my generator uses as much oil as gasoline . very old engine . it wont help my efforts if i blow up my generator ..
(1)
Report

wewll bummer . started the kitchen remodel today . had to build a 4 inch bloch wall in the bathroom first. shower was bigger than necessary , needed to move the fridge down to get extra kitchen / countertop space . had to saw drains in concrete floor , promptly knocked out my breakers . renter isnt home , cant reset breakers . running fridge on oven light fixture , everything else on a generator . i did get the block wall built so thats still big progress despite the difficulties . seems nothing worthwhile is easy but itll be worth it this winter when i have enough kitchen countertop to make bread and the shower and bathroom floor have been seperated . no more wet bathroom floor for two days after a shower .. trying to get the bunker nice enough to rent out in the future . its a pretty nice place for a single person , just needs dolled up a bit . dry walling the walls so my heat isnt wasted heating block walls . should heat like a dream when im done ..
(1)
Report

Jessie, I agree with you.... "Support this" would make much more sense than "Like this".... especially when someone's parent/spouse had passed away, I want to support what the person was saying, not liking what they were saying.... [sigh].
(2)
Report

Jeanette, clicking "Like this" seems all wrong, because I don't like this. I wish our Like button said "Support this" instead. You have a lot of support here, because we know what you're feeling. I can tell you love your mother so much.
(2)
Report

Took mom to her follow up for a UTI. Had a long talk with her doctor. This time mom didn't chime in nor did she challenge him. She is a few more steps further down the road. We ( doc and I ) decided NOT to try those psychotic drubs on her again. She never took any sort of meds, no coffee and no alcohol. Clean girl all her life. Those drugs make her whacko and I for one, do not wish to put her through it. Her doc assessed her based on last month, the month before and so one. 15 lbs in 3 months :( Progression. Her swallowing and speech is also going. It's all so heartbreaking. If I could cuss on here I would.... this shit is just f@#$ing awful!
(6)
Report

fligirl have you tried stretching exercises to help your neck and back. Do a search for it and just try 15 mins to start and only do half the repititions they recommend. I think that will help your back and neck a lot.
Do you think mom's crazy behaviour is because she is worried about dad?
(1)
Report

Fligirl you are going through so much. I am happy that there seems to be better news about your father. I hear alot of behavior issues in the elderly stem from UTI.
(0)
Report

Susan, I am like that today and almost every day which scares me as I have a form of heart disease. I have been doing yoga for the past couple of months, sadly I cannot calm my mind to get the most out of it but I do feel like I am doing something good for my health since I used to work out like a crazy person. I miss that but for some reason I just cannot get myself back into the cardio which I KNOW makes me feel better. Stopped due to chronic pain in neck and back. Some days are worse than others. Just have to try to handle it the best way I know how. Medication helps.lol
(0)
Report

Oh Fligirl....so sorry to hear about Dad's fall and Mom's new issues....you have your hands full. Hang in there. Do you meditate, or have you ever tried it? I actually have been looking into it, because I have no other way to release stress or calm my nerves when they get as bad as they were yesterday morning. We don't often have a chance to get away by ourselves or remove ourselves from the situation we're in - I'm looking into meditation as a way to "get away", even if just for a few minutes a day, or a couple of times a day. I was so wound up with stress and anxiety yesterday that my chest was hurting, my head was pounding and I felt really dizzy - not good. Have to find a way to decompress. Might be worth it for you to look into it.
(1)
Report

fligirl, it's a mixed blessing that elderly women don't have pain with a UTI - the pain at least tells you something's wrong. I was stunned the first time my MIL had one - couldn't believe how it affects one's thinking.
(3)
Report

I hear you too much. I hope things get better for you and all of us. , I am so anxious today. My dad fell and has a subdural hematoma. They said that the CT scan looks better today and that he may be going home either today or tomorrow and will need some rehab. My mom has been talking nonsense for the last 2 days and I asked if she had a bladder infection and she says no there is no pain or anything, except she has urinated in her depends for the last couple of days. If not better by Sunday, to the doctor we shall go on Monday. Her pain is so bad that I am thinking that this may be causing the nonsense she has been saying. It never ends as you well know. I have not been anywhere in almost a year except for moms doctors appointment and my own. Whoopee!!! I swear if I could get away I may never come back. I am shaking really bad today. So thankful for this website.
(2)
Report

Thanks Veronica and FreqFlyer -

A helpful thing happened after I posted that - older sis called and wanted to come by to see mom. She's only in town once a month, so I was able to get Mom into the shower because they were coming to visit. So at least for today, I didn't have to get nasty about it.

Mom knows she is supposed to shower every other day, so we do have a schedule - but when she gets into these "low times", as I call them, she just wants to vegetate in front of the tv, sleep and eat junk - which is the one thing I won't let her do. That's when the refusal to shower starts. I truly think it may be a hormonal thing - like PMS - because it seems to happen about once a month and lasts for about 4-7 days. She had a complete hysterectomy over 10 years ago, but this seems so cyclical in nature, I have to think it's something similar.
(0)
Report

notification by email have always been kind of hit or miss on here . sometimes the spam filter catches them ..
i dont have any fuss today . went to m ' s farm to cut wood and ended up bush hogging a neighbors field . not a get rich quick scheme but pretty no brainer and relaxing . i got kicked off of daily strength hepc forum . the current group likes to go on and on about homosexuality and i honestly dont care how they want to live their lives , they just occasionally get on my nerves by demanding respect and attention . i respect people based on their empathy for others and of course theirt good deeds towards fellow humans . it annoys me to be told what to accept and respect .. i have an online friend who is oriented towards the same gender . aside from informing me of this , she has never brought the subject up again . i respect her for her empathy , intelligence and good deeds -- bedroom life , none of my business .. id say screw ds but i probably wouldnt care for the ones who might take me up on it .lol
(0)
Report

Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter