I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
Nah, don't think I will be asking any of my brothers for anything. If they cannot see the obvious or have any emotion when it comes to their mom, who am I to bring it to them. They are my OLDER brother's. You'd think they would know better. Even if they dislike me....it is no excuse. None. Once upon a time a year or so ago, all 3 of them had the nerve to get mad at me for allegedly portraying them as "monsters' on FB. This is when they lied about where they were taking mom and left her unattended and she fell....black eye, bloody nose...and not one of them cleaned her up or got her ice, just drove an hour home for me to take care of. So... yeah, if the monster shoe fits... they wear it very well.
Lisa, my caregiver will be here tomorrow. We work well together and if need be, she is willing to extend her hours. Much better than my useless brothers. I once read a post on here... the person was asking if they should even notify the sibs if the parent passed away. At that time I thought it was an awful thing. Not anymore. It's as if she's already gone from their lives and they just keep going as if nothing matters. Sorry, I just do not get it nor do I want to.
Anyway, she enjoys going for rides now, so we shall do just that. :)
Person 1 is a close friend, known her for thirty years. Her mother is 94 and lives alone in sheltered housing (like an ILF) in the Channel Islands - which I agree does make things a bit tricky, to be fair. This lovely lady, who is becoming physically frail but mentally is no more ditzy than she always was (bit of a butterfly), has been invited to a posh lunch in a good hotel. She is fretting about how to get there. Well, the island is tiny, and has cabs, and social workers, and paid caregivers, and this lady is not short of a bob or two. If it were me, I'd be on the phone to the nice key worker and get it sorted - book a caregiver for a half day, use a wheelchair, tell the cab firm they need a disability-friendly cab, no? She SHALL go to the ball!
But apparently that's all too difficult. No one is even going to try. And I think that is a pity.
Person 2 - Sister calls to report back, having been to visit mother in respite care - okay, full marks for communication, I'll give her that. But I had carefully "overlooked" the absence of a t.v. in mother's room thinking - heh-heh-heh - that if she didn't have one she would be forced a) to use her walker to cover the fifty feet or so to the residents' lounge and b) to communicate with other residents, i.e. risk having a conversation with somebody. Well hang it! - sister's only gone and got the maintenance man to bring in a t.v., hasn't she. Sigh. There goes my cunning plan.
I can now let it go. Thank you everyone :)
It was decided - slogan: We're Listening! - that patients were having to wait too long to see their general practitioners. So the maestro, waving his sparkly baton, decreed that all patients must be given an appointment within 48 hours of requesting one. And lo! - it was so. All the performance statistics declared the new policy a complete success. Hurrah!!!
So we'd be grateful, right? It was at a pre-election Meet The Public televised event some time later that An Ordinary Person - who presumably had been allowed into the studio by mistake - patiently explained to him how this worked in practice. In the old system, you had to wait ages for an appointment. In the new system, you couldn't even request an appointment unless there was one available. You could be seen in an 'emergency' (whatever that might be), assuming you were prepared to sit in the waiting room until the Trump of Doom, but unless your GP had spaces in the next two days you couldn't request an appointment. You rang your GP and were told by the receptionist that you would have to call again tomorrow. And the next day. And the next day… Et voilà! - all patients requesting an appointment magically seen within 48 hours. Bambi gazed at her, his brow furrowed. Then you could see the realisation dawning in his petrified eyes "But… but… but… that's not what I meant!!!" The programme host swept on to the next question leaving Tony flicking worried glances back at the previous lady - he was obviously having difficulty believing what he'd heard but wasn't quite sure she was wrong. (She wasn't wrong).
I chuckled about that for days afterwards. Poor old Tone, I don't think encounters with the actual public, as opposed to the New Labour faithful, ever did do as much for his ego as he expected them to. The only speaker ever to be slow-hand clapped by the Women's Institute, bless him, quite a feat!
But it's not so much the cost as the sheer complexity of the US system that makes me almost tearfully affectionate towards the NHS. There you are, with double pneumonia or a broken leg or a recent cancer diagnosis, and guess what? - you get given a mind-blowing set of insurance, provider, exclusion, premium and terms & conditions calculations to figure out, presumably to take your mind off your health worries, and the only thing you can be sure of is that it's definitely going to cost you a packet for any treatment that you really need. Sweet of them.
There! - now I've forgotten what was bothering me before. I feel much better, thank you! :)
We have a Blue Cross PPO supplement Insurance to cover Medicare gaps. This works by money being given to blue cross to cover Medicare coverage. We still have the premiums for Medicare parts A & B deducted from our SS checks. Our monthly premium for 2014 is $118 for 2015 it goes up to $133 each. the co-pays are also up enough to discourage seniors from seeking needed care. This year a specialist co-pay is $25 per vist next year $40. Physical therapy this year $25 a session next $40. in 2013 when I was hospitalized the co-pay was $100 a day for 7 days, this year $175 for the first 5 days. In 2015 it will be $225 a day for days 1 - 5. for inpatient mental health it will be $325 a day for days 1 - 28. it goes on and on. so far I have only looked at one alternative which was United Health Care through AARP. Did not read beyond the first page because they do not cover pre- existing conditions for the first six months. I know they are not allowed refuse coverage under this plan but what the phuck!
We are extremely fortunate in that we can cover these additional costs and some years our medical expences do reach the 7% of income so they can be deducted from income tax. This will remain the same for 2015 but in 2016 the amount goes up to 10% What are people going to do. the threshold for free health care, the old medicaid is so low that no one could live on that income. Well they could but these days they don't know how and their grandparents who lived through the Depression all have dementia now or are dead. I know the Capt knows how and he is extremely fortunate to have VA medical care. When you hear about the unaccepible long waits for VA care remember it happens in the private sector too. it is not uncommon to wait six months for a specialist visit. Just a thought is someone trying to get rid of the "useless" older generation. i won't get political here so the admins can relax but everyone needs to research and ask questions. on this site there is a wealth of information and if you don't find an answer post a question. there is no such a thing as a stupid question. They all have value and usually someone has the answer. End of rant for the day!!!!!!!!!!!! Hugs to everyone out there who has it worse than me.
just anyone cant do what youre doing . even if your really good at caregiving it still taxes you for all your worth . take a moment to congratulate yourself .
freqflyer,
i like to joke about the usa sometimes but i still think the world looks to us for innovation . the usa just recently came up with the battery concept that can store and reproduce energy on the scale required to make wind and solar energy work full time . currently windmills are taken off line when theres an oversupply . we also have spy planes in the air over the uk right now eavesdropping for terrorist type chatter . google is fixing to provide satellite internet to the entire globe so maybe its best we havent spent billions on fibre optic cables coast to coast ..
jeanette, again , sorry your having such a hard time . id suggest trying to get any kind of help from your sibs that you can get . the job will become too much for even two people at some point . my oldest sis helped during moms final few weeks but it was wearing us both down emotionally ..
bring my 3 brother, heer tonight,
to see what I see, feel mom's plight,
omg, what an awful night. She feels me by
her, she knows my name, tomorrow, it's as if I never came.
For my mother, I will do, whatever it is, that I'm tasked for her, I promise above
If you doubt me or question my love.... where were you and the help from above.
Quick to blame quick to leave...haha, b*tch please.
Get on with your lives as we will ours... let mom rest, with her rendition of stars.. it's not up to you, for how she see's, just let her be, b*tch please.
Look at all the credit cards being hacked when used at Target, Home Depot, and other big box stores. That wouldn't happen in Europe because of their technology when it comes to credit cards. The banks here couldn't be bothered, too much work :P
my fuss for the day is ive been remodeling and havent seen edna for 3 days . i want to go see her this evening but ive had two shots of everclear . two shots of everclear does not a dui make but the aroma is enough to get bystanders clocked out of work for the day . contact high , lol ..
The computer person [the group I called makes house calls] cleaned the inner workings of the computer, I had picked up a couple of computer viruses that were latching onto programs slowing them down, yada, yada, yada. He reminded me of Sheldon [those who watch Big Bang would understand].
After a couple of hours everything was back on track, but next year I will need to think about buying something new. Apparently 5 years is the common limit of a computer to work correctly. Been there, done that before. Cost per number of years is quite expensive for an *appliance*.
My heart is heavy on Maggie's mother passing ... apparently the mods have let me cuss. Thank you mods. There are times when certain words work best.
I hate this shit!! Mom used to play shuffleboard. Dad called her shuffle queen for years.. Her trophies hang in her room ( unnoticed) she has no memory...
Just so you know. I have told my mom about this forum.... she doesn't quite get it, but she knows it helps. Some things stay forever, no matter what!
Sorry.... I am so rambling....I am not ready to lose mom
Do you think mom's crazy behaviour is because she is worried about dad?
A helpful thing happened after I posted that - older sis called and wanted to come by to see mom. She's only in town once a month, so I was able to get Mom into the shower because they were coming to visit. So at least for today, I didn't have to get nasty about it.
Mom knows she is supposed to shower every other day, so we do have a schedule - but when she gets into these "low times", as I call them, she just wants to vegetate in front of the tv, sleep and eat junk - which is the one thing I won't let her do. That's when the refusal to shower starts. I truly think it may be a hormonal thing - like PMS - because it seems to happen about once a month and lasts for about 4-7 days. She had a complete hysterectomy over 10 years ago, but this seems so cyclical in nature, I have to think it's something similar.
i dont have any fuss today . went to m ' s farm to cut wood and ended up bush hogging a neighbors field . not a get rich quick scheme but pretty no brainer and relaxing . i got kicked off of daily strength hepc forum . the current group likes to go on and on about homosexuality and i honestly dont care how they want to live their lives , they just occasionally get on my nerves by demanding respect and attention . i respect people based on their empathy for others and of course theirt good deeds towards fellow humans . it annoys me to be told what to accept and respect .. i have an online friend who is oriented towards the same gender . aside from informing me of this , she has never brought the subject up again . i respect her for her empathy , intelligence and good deeds -- bedroom life , none of my business .. id say screw ds but i probably wouldnt care for the ones who might take me up on it .lol