I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
Its supposed to my home. Yet I cannot stand being here. Every day is the same nonsense. Im depressed. I dont go out with friends, or call anyone. I work and surf the web. Once 6am comes, the madness starts all over again. I feel like Im going to have a nervous break down.
I know to get my parents to update their Wills and POA's, I said that I would pay for it.... so now my parents have an appointment with an Elder Law attorney. Both my parents are still sharp for someone in their mid-90's, with moments of forgetfulness [my memory is slipping, too].
Would it work for you to set a schedule and simply impose it. You can discuss it with mother . Tell her she needs to shower at least three times a week and let her choose the days and time. Then make her stick to it and ignore the spoiled brat behaviour. Turn off the TV and march her in. Same with going to the toilet make her go every 2-3 hours. no exceptions. By all means give her drinks and snacks if it is convenient to you but otherwise she can get things for herself or go hungry. Don't be rude and inconsiderate but stick to your guns. Does she ask you to get things or just sit there. Think about the animal that won't eat a food. they will if it is left down long enough unless they are sick which is a different story. Is mom diabetic or has any other condition that needs special feeding schedule?
I think she knows very well that she has you well trained and exactly how to push your buttons. When she uses the little girl voice just say "Very funny mother act your age " You are not being disrespectful, she is the one who started it so give her a dose of her own medicine. Unfortunately you are the adult in the household now. she is showing you great disrespect and you deserve better, so find your big girl panties and face the monster before she gets worse. Hugs.
I saw a video online the other day about a letter from an elderly parent to their child, asking that the child be understanding with memory losses and unwillingness to shower, and begging, "please don't force me to shower, I am old and I catch cold easily when I'm wet". It made me stop and think, and shed a few tears. But then I got to thinking, when it's not being old and feeble but being stubborn and refusing to do what they know they need to do.....there's a huge difference between the two. Mom is capable of showering - she just won't - until I get absolutely nasty with her and tell her, "You are GOING to shower - NOW." Then she'll do it. I *hate* this. It is totally not my style to be that way with my mother. Once she showers, we have "the talk" again - Mom, you know you need to shower, don't you feel better now that you have? Yes, of course she does. Please don't let it get to this point again. Ok, yes, I know I need to shower.
I am so tired of doing this. The problem is, it's not going to get better, and I know it. I know I shouldn't let it bother me, but it does. I'm tired of her being manipulative and I'm thinking maybe I'd better let her know that's how I feel when she does this.
My head is about to explode. I think my blood pressure must be up by about 50 points right now.
A fever breaking was always a good sign in the good old days before antibiotics. It meant someone with pneumonia or some other life threatening disease was going to get better.
Happy to say.... Mom is back! Whew.... love that woman but man o man, one more sleepless night we where both going for ...whatever made us sleep,
No anxiety tonight, no shadowing, loads of understanding....
Whew, early night for us. (happy dance)
Birds are smart.. (remember my chickens) BUT....nothing like a big sweetie girly dog to save the day/night/night/night/night/night and of course, early morning :/
Gosh... either I am very old or very tired, I am ready for bed. Mom's been snoring in her chair for the last hour (whew) but damnit man, she may not sleep again tonight.
I just lately realized... I am taking care of 3 elderly beings. Mom. 79/AD. Poochie (dog, 18 y/o, blind deaf for the past year)and my 12 year old, Daphne ( let's just say she has incontinence problems due to her sphincter) which she takes meds for.
Parrots always scream... or screech.
i dont have any fuss tonight . got the stove door swung wide open and enjoying a log burning . only one month till i go back to chicago and see alice cooper with cubehead and salad shooter . cubic zerconium is kinds police officer material but hes the designated driver . me and his GF are probably gonna be higher than cooter brown ..
Or, perhaps they don't like their families very much and can't see the need..?
Anyway, I got everything done for her within a few hours, which was great. I hoped that this truck accident would have cleared so that I could make my way home, but NO. I spent about an hour, stopped dead on the freeway, in over 100 degree heat (A/C turned off so my engine wouldn't overheat). I managed to make my way off the freeway, and realized I needed to find another way home.
FINALLY arrived home at 5:30 p.m. Awful traffic the entire way. GOD, was I tired.
Hire one anyway Jessie It is too much work for one person to handle on their own. Mom's part time carer bathes mom and does her bathroom/bedroom and clothes. That alone was a tremendous help. Not to mention the State pays for most of it through their area for aging agency.. hmmm... yes, I think that's what it's called. Don't know why I put off doing it for so long....
She'll be fine, probably better than ever :) all knew clean pipes !
I told my mom that we needed to hire a maid, because there was just too much for me. Ooh, she got mad like it was fussing at her. I told her that no, I wasn't upset with her, but we just needed to hire a maid.
She got up and started cleaning. The old malingerer! She didn't do any deep down cleaning, but she did show me she was quite capable of getting out of that chair. Gosh, I feel so used.
Have to add that women over 50 are beautiful. They don't get ugly until they get mean. :)
And I'm worried about Roni, too. I've been thinking of her all evening. I'm sure she is going to be okay, since she was able to use her mobile. That is a very good sign.
My mom has told me complimentary things too. I would never think of e-mailing my siblings to say "nah nah na nah na" Oh brother!!!
By the way, we are all over fifty now. None of us are exactly beauty queens anymore. I think its probably more important that we go see our mom regularly and then share our experiences of our mom and how she is.