Follow
Share
Read More
Find Care & Housing
Sis took Mom out to lunch on Monday. She got the food and went back to the table and mom had wandered off. She found her sitting on a bench nearby and started yelling at her. Of course other people in the food court were staring at this and probably thought it was elder abuse. Sis wants to spend time with mom but can't hold it together for long and ends up blowing a gasket. She only sees mom once a week, I hate to cut her off. I have told her not to try to be alone with mom, because they battle..... Then today Mom went to the Mall on the ALF bus, wandered off again, and tried to go UP an escalator with her walker and of course fell, hit her head. The escalator steps left cuts that look like shark bites on her back and arm. Five hours at the ER!!!!! She says she feels OK, but tomorrow AM she will be in pain. Boni, move over.
(5)
Report

Oh Bob, I wish they would devote more time, effort and of course money to AD. It is such a dehumanizing disease. There is nothing I can complain about concerning mom. It's not her, it is the disease. I do appreciate your kind words though... yup, mad as a hatter but a cutie pie to look at. Doesn't seem right.

Aside from this website, I had never heard of UTI in the elderly causing SO much turmoil. Between and her part time caregiver, Lisa, we've tired to come up with activities to keep her calm without too much medication. Not saying I am not pumping her full of antibiotics!! Those things are a lifesaver for me right now. Who knew? Certainly not me. Hopefully she will be somewhat back to "normal for her" in a day or so. (please please please) I have to once again, realize that she will never be the mom I knew... but thankful she is still my mom. Oh good grief... I hate being so cliche about this. I HATE IT and what it's done to her, my late father and all of us kids. Those smart ass scientist better hurry the hell up as I do NOT see this lessening... I actually see it increasing in the elderly. Let the pharma's make kabillions as long as it saves our loved ones from dealing with us, like we are with them, in the future.

I'm so worried about Boni.... ARGH!!!
(2)
Report

uti's whack people out who dont even have dementia . you are going thru an incredibly difficult time jeanette , but pat yourself on the back for doing the job with such grace . ive never seen you complain about your mother , only the rough circumstances sometimes .. your moms pic reminds me of my mom . kind and cheerful and possibly mad as a hatter .
gillead sciences ( pharm research ) started up in 96 i believe . they plan to pursue illnesses that are defying a cure . id sure like to see them turn their attention to dementia victims . too many old people suffering , crap qol and eventual death .
(3)
Report

Yes Jessie, I was thankful for that as well. This HAS and IS evil. I don't know who I feel worse for, me or her. Mom has never did this.... never.... between the UTI and Sundowner's... man oh man... It's like anxiety attack triplified, and delusions are real.

All I want is a good night of uninterrupted sleep. please please please....
(1)
Report

Sallie, there must be something about the age 56 when it comes to alcohol. It was the age my brother died after a lifetime of drinking. His body finally gave up.

Jeanette, bless your heart. I know how hard it is. There was only one good thing I could see about it. At least it wasn't on the carpet. I know that is a small comfort. UTIs are evil for people with dementia. My mother had a bladder infection once that took 10-12 days to clear. These were the worst days that I can remember ever going through. I hope things return to sanity again for you and your mother soon.
(2)
Report

Awh Sallie, I too, am sorry for this sudden loss. No parent should bury a child. Heck, the way I feel right now... no one should bury anyone.

Not sure just what the heck is going on right now... maybe it's mom UTI?... whatever it is, she has not been near herself for days. First time ever I caught her in the kitchen, pants down, peeing. :( Tomorrow will be her 3rd day of antibiotics, please... please... her anxiety is at maximum including her tapping one leg at the speed of sound. Damnit we both are at our wits end here...plus sleep deprived, including mom. I just want to cry.... what am I doing wrong?
(1)
Report

terribly sorry for your family sally . i read an article tonight that claimed liver disease can cause failure of organs and systems not really closely related to the liver . i believe disease is simply the absence of health . heartbreaking loss to your family , my sincere condolences to you .
(1)
Report

Not really a whine, but my brother passed away Saturday night. He was only 56 years old and lost his battle with cirrhosis. He just spoke to my mom two days before and told her he was given 3-5 years to live. He didn't even make it 3-5 days after saying that. We are still in shock and deeply saddened. My poor mom has to bury a child. He will be cremated tomorrow and Wednesday there will be a small service for him :(
(5)
Report

lol Bob. Let em keep it! Your Mom was a hoot.She lives on in you.
(0)
Report

yes mom , " we aintta payin it , and let em keep it " . lol
(1)
Report

had to srart a little fire in the stove tonight = bummer
spent 58 bucks today = bummer
but for the 58 bucks i got the single kitchen sink i wanted with delta faucets ( salvage ) plus got me a northstar cherry tree . the ones im propagating , if they survive will take 5 or so years to bear fruit .
to make the day better i took edna some cooked apples tonight . i swiped 6 of em from the tree in front of nh . i dont know what the h*ll they are but its the best tasting apples ive ever cooked -- so i swiped 6 more .
the kitchen remodel is going to happen but only as virtually free materials " materialize " .
(1)
Report

Pamz you can get the free kindle app downloaded from Amazon. Then you can order any kindle edition you like sometimes even free. no fee no end date no contract, no 30 day trial, no CC#. no nothing!!!!!!!
(1)
Report

Thank you Fligrt58! My hubs has no problem with this.. if NASCAR is on he just says.. race is on...LOL Dad will watch it with him.. no idea what is going on but he loves the cars. I am going to try to get some "me" TV time.. I love the !historical miniseries on cable.
(1)
Report

Pam I go to my room every night after dinner. My mom watches her Angels game every night it is on. I am not interested in sports. I have always done that. I start relaxing when I am in my room for the night. I don't know why but I think its that I know the day is over. I also know the longer I am hanging with mom, the questions start and keep repeating the same things over and I do not want to lose my temper so its better I am in another room. I know its sounds horrible but it is what it is and that is how I take care of myself. I really think that it is ok to watch TV in another room. Hugs
(3)
Report

Cm -- Folio Society? Now I'll have to look that up!
Your suggestion to explain is a good one, but sadly, she is past the point of understanding explanations. That's why I'm such a control freak now.
(1)
Report

Looloo - ROAR with laughter - I'm just picturing the poor sod who gets that phone call!

I didn't mean, btw, tell her what the passwords are (deleting 1-click was among the very first things I did when I got my paws on mother's computer), I meant explain why they're out of commission so that she stops trying to make them work.

Books. Groan. NEVER introduce her to the Folio Society, that's all I can say :(
(1)
Report

No whines for me on this beautiful day! I had a great conversation with my grand daughter last night, and a very good nights sleep.
Mom had a great check up and her hospital bed is coming Wednesday. I ordered her a new flat screen tv for her bedroom and it's coming Wednesday too. She is looking through catalogs for a new bedspread, etc and instead of her feeling bad about having to be in a hospital bed, she is feeling happy about "redecorating" her room.
My brother picked up his son from school and told him they were going someplace special where he loves everything there. (pet store) His replay was " YAY! WE are going to Grandmas and Bonis house!" Made Moms and My day!

I wish you all a wonderful day as well. Take your joy from the little things, and let the big things go.
(4)
Report

This reminds me of a cartoon I saw a while back with an older lady changing her password to "wrong password" so if she put in the wrong one, she got reminded of the new one!
(1)
Report

P.S. -- I'm certain that she tries to change her password via phone call, because, as far as I know, her computer is thankfully out of commission.
(0)
Report

Cm, my mother is one of the most UN-tech savvy people I've known. She stopped using email and going online last year (making "wahh, wahh!" noises to me and saying "my computer doesn't LIKE me!!!" -- real cute). Since the early 1990's, I've done my best to provide tech support, with no success. She hits one wrong button and has no idea what just happened. When I took over her finances and everything last year, I got access to her email and began putting the pieces together for her online accounts. Today, when I noticed her attempt to change her amazon password, I went onto her profile for the first time and saw her shopping habits -- or should I say, "habit". Her addiction is books. Every few days, it showed her purchasing $50, $70, and so on, of books.
This woman should not be anywhere NEAR the internet.
(1)
Report

Looloo, she was probably going nuts wondering why the ones she remembered didn't work and, quite quickly if she's anything like me, hit the 'give up and make a new one' button. To spare her sanity (no, don't laugh, there's no need for sarcasm) hadn't you better send her a neutrally-toned, matter of fact email explaining what the new system is? Non-functioning internet can drive even the best-humoured and well-adjusted of us (cough-cough) round the twist - have a heart! And of course the nice thing about email is it's so easy to delete disagreeable replies...
(2)
Report

Discovered today that my mother attempted to change a few of her passwords for some online accounts. ARGH! It didn't work, thank goodness (she went a little crazy w/internet shopping in the past, and is easy prey for phishing and other scams). But I spent a decent amount of time at work RE-resetting everything.
(1)
Report

Jeanette, to look on the bright side - ? - that's another whole group of people who learned something they needed to know about Alzheimers. Don't hide away!

FF if my dishwasher wasn't working for five days I'd think it felt like 30 years..!
(2)
Report

I love to read... and my daughter is getting me a kindle for Christmas ( I finally gave in!). I am well known at the library as I am too cheap to buy books unless its a fav author and they dont have the book. I get free books for kindle now and read them on my phone.. and I love bookhub too! I only ever read a book once.. they are like popcorn to me. I won't give up the library.. it will only be free or .99 for me on the kindle! I used to like to watch TV.. scify or such. Mom always has game shows or the cooking channel on.. and I feel antisocial if I go to another room and watch TV. WHY?? They are no longer guests, they live here, and they don;t care.. Guess it's in my head...LOL But i;ll be canceling Netflix next...
(1)
Report

Well, it finally appears that my Dad's mild is starting to slip just a bit.... tonight he was saying their dishwasher hadn't worked in 30 years.... ah, Dad, it stopped working 5 years ago.

I tell you, if it wasn't for this website I would have made a major issue over the dishwasher's time frame... I reminded Dad it was only 5 years ago, then redirected him as to when he and Mom will be getting a new one. Looks like they won't as since it is only the two of them, they rather hand wash the dishes. Well, that's their choice. Glad Mom has Dad helping her in the kitchen :)
(1)
Report

Well girls, winter is assuredly coming and I for one, do not want to gain another ounce. If it's not reading, then we all must figure out something that will keep our minds from going to mush or eating too much junk.

I have did not one single darn thing today. Well, I did manage to feed everyone. Other than that. Nada. Yesterday we did a lot of work getting things put up and away for winter. My young yard helper, myself and even mom. Chris has this puppy, a 9 month old. Now this puppy is related to the wolf who played White Fang. He is 3/4 th wolf. Beautiful 110 pound puppy!! We decided to introduce his pup to my dogs and take them to the park at the river. They have a giant enclosed area just for dogs. They ran and ran, played and had such a great time... so much fun, except... mom got it into her head that people where trying to kill her :( this poor elderly man and his 4 lb dog got cussed out. She used the f word several times. Another older couple were there with their 2 gorgeous collies.... mom was crying to them. She would not sit on the bench with us, she would not calm down, she was frantically trying to find a way out of the dog park. sigh. We left and drove through the park to the boat ramp so the dogs could cool off in the river. Sat mom on a giant boulder in the shade... she was somewhat calmer. People pulled in from their float ...mom started again, they were so nice... one guy even offered mom a beer... he said "here grandma" have a nice cold beer". Boy did he get cussed out (normally she would have flirted with him and drank the beer) another older couple and a cruiser bike pulled in.... the look on their faces when mom shuffled towards them. I explained she had AD and no I wasn't trying to kill her just trying to get her to enjoy the after noon and let the dogs do something besides lay on the couch.

That took everything emotionally out of me. I guess I am supposed to sit in this house and die. Ha, nope, don't think so. It was a freaking nightmare though...sigh
(1)
Report

Easier said than done toomuch, but you need to take a break. If you cant get away for a bit, at least make a time for yourself, alone everyday and do something you like. ( I play scrabble and spades online) You might be clinically or situationally depressed as well. They kind of go hand in hand. You are doing to much and losing you. Put yourself first! Even if it's only for a half hour a day. Set a time and let everyone know you are NOT to be disturbed.
(1)
Report

I read the fine prints. It's an automatic renewal subscription basis. If your original credit card expired, they will try your alternate card. If they cannot automatically find an alternative card for your payment, your subscription ends and all books will be withdrawn from you. Unless I misread it, but that's what I understand from it. Thanks. I will try the suggestions given.
(1)
Report

Too much 4 me, I felt like that yesterday. Now that I can go out when the companion is here I feel like I do not know how to do anything outside of the home. I have not bought a pair of jeans is so many years that I had to ask the person who worked the fitting rooms how they looked. I was just so grateful these people were so nice to me. I was embarrassed that I was not sure how to use the library since I have not been in one in 10 years maybe. Its like I want to be who I used to be but have no idea who that person was. I keep trying to tell myself it will get easier as I get out more, but in the long run I know that a nightmare is ahead with Mom. I have no self confidence any longer.
(2)
Report

You can also "check out" kindle "books" electronically from some public libraries. There is an on-line source (sorry I don't have it at my fingertips- just google "kindle other sources" or something like that) that notes which libraries carry kindle editions and you apply for a library card and can get the kindle edition free for a regular library check-out time. I joined the $9.99/mo everyting free and am still on the free trial. If you're an avid reader, this may be a good deal (& I was unaware that you couldn't keep the book; I thought you could keep it until you needed more space to store something else. I wanted to re-read The Hobbit (to see what happens after The Desolation of Smaug - I'm an avid fan of J.R.R. Tolkein's novels that have come to life on the screen by director Peter Jackson. Anyhow, there are many ways to get kindle input where you don't pay anything.
(1)
Report

Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter