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Jon and I met with financial advisors today. We can make the assisted living work if all goes well with our investments for about 7 years. Then we are out of money. Cross that bridge if and when the day comes with a little of proactive investigation/action regarding how to protect the house for us and getting it out if his name so in five years if we need it we can get him eligible for Medicare. It's all very complicated with a lot of working parts but I have faith that Gods plan is in action. Just keep doing the next right thing and God will handle the rest. 🙏 No expectations yet I am hopeful relief is in the works for all of us. I can ALMOST breath a sigh of relief. I know I'll still be involve with Dr. visits, visiting and being an active presence, etc. but I will not be cleaning poop, urine, oatmeal, Kleenex, prunes etc on a multi daily basis!
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Boni, I have no idea why they won't prescribe something faster acting than me playing old ballads? Or... that''s is the reason why? Small town in a State that truly likes to take care of their elders. No, I wasn't being facetious...Oregon is pretty good with their seniors.

If you've never youtubed/ marty robbins... do it. such a fun happy man with great ballads
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I think it is an old man smell predominently, kind of musty washing the clothes does not get rid of it and the whole bedroom smells that way. mostly lack of fresh air. I have a chest of drawers i purchased at a garage sale and I can't get rid of that smell. they have been scrubbed with bleach and painted but it is still there and comes off on my clothes. Pam I think air fresheners make it worse if anything
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Sorry you and Mom are having a bad night. It sounds like you are doing the best you can. My advise would be xanex or valium too.Why won't the Dr. let her use them?
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moved onto Marty Robbins.... El Paso Cityyyyyyy

Hey... I do love me some Marty :) ballads are awesome and...apparently calming
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Her docs won't give her fast acting anxiety meds. They just up her resperidone. I give her a hot toddy and it makes things worse so none of that for her. She just wants to get in the car and go home :(

I've got her singing along to Phantom of the Opera now.... soon as it ends, the crying starts again.

Looloo.... thank you :)
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Jeanette, can you give her anything for anxiety, or to make her drowsy?
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My favorite quote from Real Housewives of NY.

"Take a XANAX"!!

We all have our struggles, we all have bad days Most importantly, you cannot HEAR the WORDS. Be kind to one another. This forum is aging care. It's not easy for any of us much less bickering over things that we think we might have misconstrued

Mom is becoming increasingly more paranoid and feeble? Is feeble a good way to explain? She's been crying for hours now about how someone is coming in and going to kill us. She's to impatient to eat a proper meal... almost at the pacing back and forth stage.... this is just mind numbing. Nothing is calming her down.... I've sat with her and hugged her, turned the tv off, put on soothing music....she's almost frantic with fright. Dear God.... please....
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I know with my Dad that odd smell isn't body odor but from his breath... he's not one for brushing or flossing his teeth on a regular basis.... I bet he hadn't replaced his toothbrush in awhile.... whenever I pick up my parents' grocery list I will ask if they need any new toothbrushes as it is good to replace those brushes once a month.
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PZIMM thats interesting yeh you have to have a good sense of humour to understand the Irish!! Having a good sense of humour keeps us saine! well almost saine? yeh i thought your dad was very young! listen we dont know what these people get up to o find chocolate and bits of food in mums pockets under the chairs we never know whats rotting where they can be sneaky!! mum just went to bed rattling some papers in her dressing gown pocket i know she has a chocolate bar in there but what the hey if it makes her happy! I have awful visions of this house when she passes we will find rotten food all over the place! She clutters so its hard to detect where she hides things?
My cleaning lady has a nose like an anteater she always gets a wierd smell when she comes in? maybe ive become immune!
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Oh dear just spoke to brother and hes working 8hrs in a house for paranoid schizophreniacs? was told not to mention "libya or gadaffi" to one guy as hes convinced the libyians are after him??????? I thought he was just visiting old people and helping with shopping etc... God love him hope he sticks it! he did say makes you think how lucky you are! I told him you have to have alot of compassion for these guys just think what they must be going through? He didnt sound too happy but may be hes just tired after his first day!
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id live with the devil himself with an advanced case of a**rot if hed keep these bats knocked out . i need this good sleep and flappity flap flap aint cuttin it for me . maybe i need bigger spiders ..
night all , my fried chicken rocked ..
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My profile is sooo wrong, and I have tried to correct it, dad is 87! And I love your posts! I am Irish by heritage and have visited several times!
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I'm 53 yrs old. Hope I don't smell in three years! Does your father eat garlic or take garlic pills? That stuff comes out of your pores and smells weird.
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PM you are funny your profile says your dad is only 56? thats not old unless youre 12? id hate to think i was going to smell in a few years time! Smell isnt always pee and poop mum brings mugs of tea to her room and if i dont find them they can turn up a few days or wks later covered in mould? Yes as someone said here once "things CSI wouldnt be able to recognise" LOL
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nope, dad makes it to the bathroom in time (except for twice in 2 years) I work in a hospital, I know pee and poop!! I love febreeze too! and glade airfreshners. However.. we did have a strange poop smell in the laundry room bathroom today.. mom did a major cleanup and said it came from the recycling bin. Maybe Dad put the TP in there? This is different... This smell is just "off".
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Is your dad incontinent? I know the smells cannot be identified sometimes i mean mum dosnt wash much but she never smells of BO? just an odour? every morning i open every window theres alot of windows here!! mainly its her depends that shes put in some ODD place so i search until i find the culprit! Yeh columbo couldnt do my job as good!! I use fabrezze i think its good i just spray it all over? the main smell here is urine as mums incontinent and even though she changes alot she still smells a bit! Gosh PM youre dad is so young thats hard so unfair hes only a few years older than me? scary!
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I love the comment about the smells,, I was just debating posting a question about this..LOL Since my folks moved in thier bedroom and bathroom has an :odor: I can't figure out. It;s not urine,etc. Dad and Mom both bathe every other day, and wash thier hair. I did get Dad a new brush, his really stunk. And Mom is a clean freak and so is Dad... is it just "old folks smell" ? Air freshners are not cutting it!
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DOH cap like i said read my post! spending an hour driving around in your car seeing about five different old people a day then coming home and CHILLING is not the same as 24/7 care HECK i could live down the road and look after mum half an hour a day and id be happy!! No my brother may get the odd alz client but half an hour is nothing to what we go through here!
Its a cushy job when you get a few clients a day and a half an hour on each keeps you going and focused lets just hope he sticks it out!
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maybe your bro will develope a better understanding of what you go thru kaz and learn a bit about caregiver teamwork . i cant think of any more difficult occupation in the world off hand . even when you get a hour or two break the worry and responsibility never let up .
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I must tell my brother to put a bit of peppermint oil in his nostrils thats what i do on a bad day!!! SEE we can give each other tips!!!!!!!!
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Funny as h*ll! mum aks me how my brother got on today so i told her what he said in his text!! Mum replied what does he mean FUNNY SMELLS???? oh are you friggin kidding me mum!!!!!! LOL LOL LOL LOL
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Glad my brother is an irish musician hes not doing too well and has to have something thats paying regular SO he applied for a carers job in UK (where he lives) today was his first day!!!! He will call tonight so i will know more! im glad he got a regular job and has a great personality very like captain!! and is good with old people he looks after his neighbour who is almost 90 but has all his wits about him but my brother loves him so i reckon he will be a big hit with the elders!! may even bring in his guitar!!
The money is not great 10dollars an hour?? he will get 25hours a week BUT as hes no responsibilities he can do alot of overtime! im happy for him BUT as long as he dosnt start telling me how to do my job we will be fine!! Yeh hes new to pee and poop although has seen a bit here with mum but now he gets to clean it up! HA! I wont say at least he will see what i go through as he wont its not 24/7 its not his mum AND hes not living with them! But he knows what i go through and is supportive more than the others!
I cant wait to hear how he got on but at first he will have a "carer buddy" for about a month then hes on his own!
Funny how life turns out!!!
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i aint to the whining stage yet but 6 hours of wood cutting / splitting today bout kicked my a** . like masonry its a job better done by two people but im a hard case -- ill do it alone , thank you ..
left the dental girl her card . what she chooses to do with it is her problem not mine . most financially well off people are rather spoiled and pushy . i dont have high hopes on her just need another friend or two . my upcoming colonoscopy requires a driver . my point ; a friend or two is a must at times .. there are times when everybody needs someones help ..
ike could drive me to the va and back but im sure the docs wont go that s*it ..
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Kazz, who is he caring for?

That is funny, smells? LOL!
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Brother started his first day as a CARER today his text read "day one just supervising thier meds but there are some funny smells around" LOL Why i dont know what he means guys do you???? Oh god my brother a carer karma?
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GO captain!!!!!
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Jesse! i know how you feel! mum drops her dirty washing at the back door NO dont open the door and put it into the laundry basket house is always a mess theres day it gets to me and ill go mad cleaning up then theres days when i run into town and dont come home until dinner time just to avoid the mess! cleaner comes every friday for 3hrs does everything two hours later house is a mess again????????? you just keep picking up like a robot. She did the dishes today while i was out shopping OH PLEASE DONT! she cant see and dishes have to be done again as they are not clean yep brown paper bags deep breathing and pray like h*ll!!!!!!!!!
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I have a work-related gripe right now. I had too coordinate a 2 day offsite conference, and we have a corporate meeting planning dept. that we go to for this stuff. I've never had to plan an offsite like this before, so I dealt with them for the first time on this. Our 'planner' was kind of hard to reach, the paperwork was difficult to decipher, but I understood (as did my boss), that she had negotiated a rate based on our budget. NOW, I get the invoice, and it's TWICE as much! I'm freaking out. I emailed her, and all she said was "well, the food you ordered looks pretty expensive...." I emailed her back letting her know that the food was the cheapest I could get at this posh hotel. I just double checked the paperwork, and re-did all the math. Everything was within budget that I signed off on. She better fix this.
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Love this gripe thread. I have a gripe today. It feels like I spend half my life picking up trash left here and there by my mother. She can be three steps from the trash can, but it is too far for her to bother. It doesn't do any good to say anything. She is like Pig Pen in Peanuts.
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