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Life just got better.................. i was drunk on friday AND i put fags in a safe place forgot about them now just remembered them!!!!!!!!!!!!! BLISS
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HA! if someone had told me years ago id be on a forum discussing old peoples bowels id have laughed my head off!!! Funny how life turns out eh?

Mums gone to bed im elated! Criminal minds triple bill AND columbo one i havnt seen SH*T can life GET any better!
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if an elder is considered terminally ill it isnt a problem to give then as many as 9 otc stool softeners a day . colace powder works fine if its used every day but too much will burn them with gastric acid . softened chia seeds get the best results . bout a heaping tablespoon of them in 3 tbsps of hot water .
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Sorry Fli but that long in the toilet is not good you should never try and force it walking her around may help more fibre all bran OR prunes?

Mum has the opposite problem so i know what foods to give her OR avoid! rice water is good for diarrhea any fibre for constipation!
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I hear you. Mom is consipated due to pain meds, which do not work well enough but with the dementia its very hard. She was in the bathroom for over 11/2 hours trying to go and she sweats buckets and it just takes every ounce of strength she has. She does not want to get up at all and she has not eaten yet. I am so upset with a migraines I have had for the last 4 days. and my anxiety. It tortures me to see her like this because I know how bad she feels. Crying again, whats new?
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JB HUGS!! i am stressed just reading your posts and mum isnt even there yet? she asked me three times did i put out the bins? thats enough to give me BP!! I cry too with stress its like enough already! I went out TWICE this wkend and shes still going on about it BUT NO dont ask brother to stay with her dosnt want to BOTHER HIM?? wreck my head and push me over the edge but dont bother golden boy(friends call him this and my sister is golden girl) im cinderella!!! where the h*ll is my prince?
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This has brought back some hilarious memories...I can remember how my Grandma would always want a "tad" of something...back in those days...Mama would only allow us to have a soda every now and then so when we got one it was a big deal....it never failed that my grandma would start wanting a "tad" of my soda...and after way too many episodes of that I knew what that meant...there goes my soda...she would get that green cut glass tumbler and I can see her now emptying about 80% of my soda into that tumbler...I would start whining and I can still hear myself saying "Mama....!!!!!!! " Mama would just smile and say you didn't need the whole thing anyway...man oh man...after those episodes I was ready for her to goooooooo.....isn't it funny how some of these memories come back....
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bless your heart...I know.....My grandmother was a lot like htat and I can remember when she would visit and my Daddy was still living at the time...many MANY years ago...she would do that....what are you doing? why are you doing it? should you be doing that? wouldn't you rather do it this way? don't you need to go to bed? do you really think you need to be watching that filth on tv??? (Cannon or The Virginian and such......yeah, that's racy grandma) go to bed....you'll feel bad if you don't go to bed....now to me in those days it was not focused on me...so I would get tickled seeing my Daddy's reaction to it....because he would start getting frustrated after the first two or three hours of it....lol...but she would finally drift on to bed and he would be sitting there and would finally say...dear God....peace at last...and yet you could still hear her talking all the way in the opposite end of the hall.....wow...that brings back a lot of memories...thanks Jeannette...now let me go find MY bag....hahaha
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I know hope22. Surely I will miss be questioned when all is said and done. But good grief...can I go to the bathroom x's 100. Do you want me to do something x's 100. Is there something I should be doing x's 100. Where are we going x's 200.

I literally begged her a minute ago to please just sit down for awhile and stop following right behind me. I had tears in my eyes.... please, for the love of GOD just sit still and stop questioning me. "Where do you want me to sit"? There, right there in your easy chair. "What chair, that chair"? Yes mom, that chair... tic toc "Can I go to the bathroom"? YES GO! "Where is it".

Brown paper bag....take me away....calgon is over-rated :/
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But I still keep my brown paper bag handy....there are days when I surely need it.... lol
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In reality, I have a lot of regret. While I have tried to be here...always...for my parents all my life...there were several years there right before she took that horrid fall down her stairs where I was always worrying, thinking how I probably needed to move home to keep a closer eye on her...but I kept worrying about how I would figure all that out..the job, the house, the pets, the ducks...how on earth would I ever figure this all out, and yet I worried constantly about her...then that horrid evening came when we could not get her on the phone..we always called every evening...and that night my brother found her at the bottom of the basement steps....That was an evening I will never forget and after spending years trying to figure it all out....it took me about five seconds to decide what I was going to do....I am so blessed that that was not the end of our story because the doctors all said that it would be....we got mama back, although her early dementia along with the substantial injury to her brain took so much of Mama away from me....so while I totally remember those evenings of thinking...good Lord I wish she'd just sit there and be quiet for a little while.....I would give anything to have her aggravate me like that again....I don't know that I'm wording this right....I totally understand how they can drive you crazy....we all in reality are just doing the best we can......it's not the same for each of us...but a similar thread runs through all of it...how much we all love them...or we would not be here...
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Falling on a trail would clear more than cobwebs. Call it denial, pretense, ignorance or just plain stupid. They DO NOT get it. At all. It's all tucked away in the "do not bother me" department in their head. Wait... when it's our parent's time to go ahead.... they'll crawl out of the woodworks. grrr

I'm giving thought for a 3 day weekend during Labor Day. BUT... every single time I leave mom with the brothers she comes home bloodied, bruised and needing stitches. My SIL should bring her lazy ass here and SIT with mom for the 3 days (plus watch my dogs) but Nooooooooooo..... that would be too much like the right thing to do. So...for now I will wait and keep on keepin on with mom.

ff.... curtains from the 60's as a throw in the back seat?? LOL!!! I needed that laugh. I've been in such a foul mood for 2 days. If I was a turtle I'd be the snapping kind.

You know (yes I'm going to ramble for a bit) mom is not incontinent and with my assistance/guidance she is able to walk around. there are so many fun wonderful stimulating things we could be doing but.... as soon as come up with a brilliant plan (wink) yes I occasionally have brilliant plans, we get going on it and the complaining starts in... my bubble instantly pops and everything that was going to be a fun time turns into a giant chore and usually I end up wanting to just go home and .... drum roll;;;;;;; SIT sigh.... hate that

Today my plan is to take the dogs, chairs and a Mike's Hard Mango Madness Lemonade and sit by the river. My one and only friend whom also caretakes for her COPD mom is bringing her dog as well. We are trying to socialize them as her dog is extremely Alpha Female ( oh yeah, she potties with her leg up)!! If we get them used to each other then we can hang out and swim the last few weeks of summer in my backyard. ooops, I've digressed way off track! So far mom is all down with the idea.... you just wait 5 minutes into the journey..... grrrrrrrrrrrrr procrastination at it's finest! :)
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Ok so i put all the tea towels in the wash but kept one to use at dinner! I then lost it? searched everywhere "where the h*ll is that d*mn teatowel" I then went to make tea and found the tea towel in the fridge?????? now if this was mum well thats just normal so what the h*ll am i? Yep im going nuts!
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Jeremy kyle,hoarding buried alive,hoarding,new hoarding,baggage wars,storage wars,obsessive hoarding? obsessive cleaning, how clean is your house? OMG mum watch some tv will you!!!!!! I want to bash my head off everywall in this house! Going for a bath then ill sit in the kitchen chain smoking until she goes to bed! Oh and shes lost her hearing aid so i cant even get away from her tV crap im sure the neighbours can hear it too!
Would go for a walk but its raining but i am going somewhere im going around the bend!!!!!!!!!!
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My whine for the day or hour.... this morning we took my parents old car over to the mechanic as there are some issues with the vehicle. Anyway, when I get to the house, Mom and Dad were busy emptying out the car of personal items... ok, I can understand removing the handicapped placard, but the other things were unnecessary to take out....

Really now, do my parents really think someone would steal a half roll of paper towels?.... or Dad emergency Depends he has in a brown paper bag?.... or maps that are 15 years old?.... a pencil that is maybe 2" long?.... a variety of flower pattern umbrellas?... or the cloth that Mom has all the way across the back seat, which use to a curtain she had in the dining room of our house back in the 1960's, talk about taking recycling to the max, and other items :0
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Jeanette, your comment about trail walking struck a chord with me. I sometimes wonder what in the world is wrong with my family! My son married two years ago in the mountains, lots of trails. My aunt actually suggested I should take Mom for a hike on the trails to "clear out the cobwebs"! They just do not get it at all! Denial is a nice safe place to be, I guess!
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57, taking an elderly person for walks along the trails in ridiculous!! I barely like to take my mom to the store anymore her as her perception is just about gone.

hope honey, your genuine love/kindness towards your mom is awe inspiring. At times I feel bad because it seems it's hard for me to be as nice to mine as you are to yours... BUT...as you said, progression and actions are different to each loved one. My mom would drive you batty!! Doesn't matter what I start to do ... she's right behind me asking why she can't put her shoes on, or if her one shoe and one slipper is ok or her 12 layers of clothing is going to be warm enough (97 today) or where the bathroom is or what is she supposed to be doing or where should I sit ( that one is asked 100's of times a day) All the above starts as soon as she walks out of her bedroom. It's a constant barrage of questions. She eats faster than I do, so for the next 15 minutes I have to hear she's done eating and what should be done with the plate. Of course I do answer her, but she forgets... so again and again.... there is never a moment of simply sitting without her wanting to be entertained in some way. My cheeks are bloody from biting them. Too me, this is the hardest part. Keeping her busy enough so I can get my own chores done. Sigh. I think I need a brown paper bad to hyperventilate with hope22. It's only 11:00 A.M. ... what a long day ahead.
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rats I messed up. Told dad I would take him to a car show today and it was yesterday..... Then my sister gives me some suggestions but not practical ones. Go for a walk- the trails around here are full sun and will be lower 80's today. She forgets my vision problems too. So I will pick him up later take him out for a root beer float and a couple errands.
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Kazzaa, does your Mum wear outdoor shorts? Maybe if you find a clever looking pair of slip on shorts she will wear them. I noticed in the teen boy department of a store, there have a lot of outrageous looking designs that she might like. Maybe something silly she will find amusing :)
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That is the hardest thing to understand about dementia...there is NO WAY to understand it...it seems to have such a different progression with some folks, in others it is so different...but it always seems they are able to focus on things or thoughts that USED to be enjoyable to them...not so much things in the present now...I wish Mama was pretending...but I know she's not...it is such a sad disease.. as progressed as it is...there are moments I still have with her where I know she knows me...and do I ever try to cram as much love as possible in those moments.... I am having so much difficulty knowing she's going to respite...I don't even want to think of when she goes.....I have been close to hyperventilating all weekend long whenever I think of it....
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Mums been very quiet lately she found an old patchwork quilt under the stairs and is now fixing it up!! I am just always amazed how she has the concentration to create things BUT will still wear her depends with no pants??????????? My mind is boggled! I mean knitting and making quilts is no problem to her so why is everything else? Strange disease? I couldnt even concentrate on a letter right now so HOW do they do it? maybe shes pretending to have dementia?
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Veronica and Bonnie....yall are sweet! ((hugs))
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They are having some kind of PBS special tonight about the 50's...I think that era is my favorite of all the music...it has been a nice drizzly day and Mama has been cozy and happy and I have to say it is the most relaxing day. I think I may already be enjoying the thought of about to be free of that huge albatross that used to be my home....I am almost giddy. as much as I have chunked from the basement this week, I think I will have a lot of success in letting most of the rest go. I want to keep the letters from my parents when I first moved away from home to go to college ....I never want to lose them...I always wrote them all through the week too and it is sad how letter writing is such a lost art it seems...also back in the day when it was considered particularly ill bred to not write a note of thanks when people did something nice for you. I'm glad I grew up in those days....I cherish my letters....my pictures of our family together...those are the things I can't bear to let go of....I am going to cherry pick some items that are of particular interest to me, two of my gumbo dishes for when I become inspired to cook Cajun....my pretty shellfish motif platters and dishes for those seafood nights...my clothes....it will be nice to have a selection of pretty things for the rare time I do go out...even if it's the grocery store..lol....going to box up most of the rest and donate it to the animal shelter flea market and some things for some families I think would like them around here...the more I let go of the better it feels....I think I am starting to see what it means about giving up all your "stuff" and following Him.....

I'm all for folks being successful...I wish them great success but to whom much is given much is expected and sometimes I think folks forget that part of it...don't know what got me on that rant...just feeling so free.....this time next week, that place will be but a memory and a wisp in the wind....forever free ..the happy things forever set free and the pain and heartache that it became will be over...and buried.....
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What ^^^^ She ^^^^^ said.
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The world is a better place with you in it Capt miserable old b*****d that you are.

Hope I'd adopt you in a heartbeart wonderful daughter that you are.
Hugs to you both
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thanks hope . the love of money , not money the barter and necessary commodity .. our goods and services have to have a value placed on them for trade purposes but some people equate personal monetary gain with wealth . they demean themselves and will probably regret it in this lifetime ..
id give my aunt my warmest shirt and freeze my ass off . shed give me her last vittle and starve to death .. read it and squirm church fanatics ..
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Do not think for one minute that in your wildest dreams that even though you calmly, methodically, lovingly explain something that they ask you about--and have asked you about SO MANY TIMES BEFORE (and in the same day even) that they will remember what you said because they won't. Even though your annoyance will probably come through a little, remember to breathe and count even though it feels like they are purposely ignoring what you have told them a million times.
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Captain, I sing that hymn a lot myself :)

I am 100% with you on the money thing. I do know that you need to pay bills and such, but the love of money can cause more trouble in this world than anything else. While my brother was visiting he once again brought up the house, how maybe it would sell (hasn't in almost three years so not holding breath on that one) but it is almost funny to me now that "I" am the one who is losing the house...why is it bothering him so much????? hymmmmmm......there you go cap.....

I think people think I am lying when I say how much I hate focusing on money...that has probably been my biggest downfall in the eyes of "normal" society folk....I don't label success by my bank account balance and that doesn't seem to fly in my circle...so I am not in that circle or any circle now. I kind of live in my own little world...and if someone needs me, I'll be there...but then I'm coming back to my little world....because I don't like all the clutter and drama that lives in the other one...I have always been kind of a loner and the past three years have shown me I am even more so than even I knew...but the way I am is also the reason I am here doing what I am doing, so instead of folks being so critical, they need to just be glad I am the way I am...I'll figure it out as i go along.....I ask nothing of anyone...but I'm here if they need me.,,,unless they have proven to be a selfish "a"...then I may be there depending on who else may be involved or in need......why is it that seemingly knowing what you want and need out of life makes people avoid you like the plague
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hope , i write hymns ..
mostly when my sons pizz me off .

hymmmmn,
hymmmmn,
F - hymmmn .
lol
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wish my gd chicken livers would thaw , im freakin starving ..
BUT i have a 4th load of firewood .. always with the looking ahead ..
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