I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
The cops/paramedics and neighbors ALL know us very well. Embarrassing? Yes. My fault? No. Doesn't matter whose fault it is, it's still unnerving being known for the crazies that goes on in this house. Some days I just shake my head and hide in the back yard...
If a stranger knocked on the door, they'd better watch out cuz I might just let them in and escape out the back door!!!
Jesse....I like the idea of a sign on the front door. Yeah, be careful all who enter!!!
I have a crow bar pretty lethal would i use it who knows people will do anything to protect themselves i guess? yeh crime is getting bad here its not long ago that you could leave your doors open here? I was a basket case after the break in we had a few years ago and was a nervous wreck! im alot better after PSTD therapy im tougher and probably would fight to protect my mum and my cat! Yeh maybe god help the burglar who confronts an already stressed out carer "make my day mfcker". HA!
Mom knows she needs Insulin.Has not had dinner and you have been missing all day. What a wonderful memory that old lady has. She can even remember the number for 911.
When she gets to assisted living she will have not trouble taking care of herself. Perhaps you could have a Tuesday night gathering at your house instead.
Just keep the noise down till she is asleep. poor you. I really do sympathize.
My husband has started checking on me and wants to know where I am going, when I will be back and what I am doing in the house. he will even see me to the car and advise me to turn on the lights (They are automatic)
I don't check on him and he does disappear for extended periods. he does turn up for food on a regular basis - so i postpone sending out search parties. Oh I forgot he has On Star in his car. Isn't it h*ll getting old and senile. getting on for time for my nap
Same goes for the emergency services, social workers (did she remember to call the coast guard?!) and everyone your mother rousted out last night. Those who haven't been in our shoes will have thought "how could anyone be so wicked and cruel as to leave this poor sick little old lady all on her lonesome?" Those who have, will have thought "pull the other one, lady, it's got bells on."
And the rearranging the furniture, isn't it amazing? That same helpless little infant who can't cut up her chicken leg is suddenly hefting sofas about. What a shot of adrenalin will do, eh?
I've pretty much given up on our local Friday night at the pub, and instead invite people who do go regularly to join us for supper on their way; I still don't get to the pub, but at least I do glimpse friends every so often. And if I really have to go out and leave mother unattended, I stick a post it note on the front door forbidding anyone to knock at it and giving my cell phone number in case of emergency.
I think in general that letting local officials and emergency services know the score will help. Of course you still want them to respond to actual emergencies, but not to false alarms. I agree that it's incredibly difficult to get the balance right.
My evening with friends was lovely and I get up to go around 9pm and check my phone. There are 2 messages from two of my brothers telling me that mom had called 911 telling the dispatcher that I had gone out and didn't give her the evening insulin shot. It was, of course, not true as I had given it before I left. So since 911 was called, the sheriff got involved who, in turn, called me. Mom told the sheriff that she hadn't seen me (her daughter) all day---also not true as I had been with her all day including taking her for a short ride and listening to the rain together. So I had to call the sheriff's office back to straighten that out.
I headed home angry because I knew now that I would not be able to leave her alone anymore and have these evenings out. I also felt a little embarrassed by it all because I feared people might have thought that I was a lousy caregiver. Or....that on some level mom had pulled this shennanigan on purpose because I left her for the evening. Which isn't true but I was really caregiver-exhausted. I have really tried hard to do the right thing for her all along and it has been a trying road lately watching her get worse and demanding more and more of my time. Actually, I really didn't want to go home at all.
I get in my door and the house is dark and she is in bed sleeping (at least I think she is). I notice that she has scooted our heavy loveseat in front of the sliding glass door (Her increasing paranoia). Now this is a lady who grunts and groans at every movement sometimes. She does have a little arthritis but I notice that the 'grunting' becomes more pronounced when she wants attention or when someone is watching. But she sure didn't have trouble moving that big piece of furniture last night.
So now I think that big changes have to be made. Either I can never leave her alone again and possibly hire respite care when I need to go out (don't know how that will work when I have a job to go to) or it is time to find assisted living that is affordable for her. This night was definitely the turning point.
not curious . there are nice people everywhere its just that a school dropout at the age of 15 can only relate with the highest intellect of women . it isnt going to be easy .. they were taught corporate success . ive learned old school, living a life you can and should be proud of . money is a necessity but shouldnt be a goal .. its unnerving and sad . the people in the mcmansions are pissin up a rope . ( moderators , kaz gets by with this language , i should too . )
d*mn , cant believe a wuss rock song means so much to me but olyvia newton johns " let me be there " means a lot to me ..
youre not messed up Cap you just need a good woman who gets you! Ask angel Chaumel to bring her to you! Hes already looking for me but the timing aint right yet!
i leave my behavioral therapist in tears of laughter . we love each other ..
doc L . my god shes hot ..
she just wrote in my va records that im the most physically and emotionally fit as shes ever known me in 5 yrs . i aint doin that bad for a person who just went thru death by insanity with my mother ..
When i was in therapy for my childhood issues the therapist broke down and asked me to help him!! Healer heal thyself!
Was messed up at 4yrs had it all sussed at 5 and a half yrs just went to therapy for fun then realised these guys are more messed up than me ALLELUIAH im cured!! yep you think you got it bad until you meet some really messed up people!! My ex husband being one!! Like i said there are none so blind as those that will not listen!