I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
Me1000, I also like everyones thread. How else do we learn? However, I would never single a thread out and say it was bad or toxic or whatever.
This is all of our lives.
So here is another whine... wait, no....it's wine, Pino Grigio YUM!
I am NOT trying to be offensive to anybody. At times I do like a nice chuckle within this thread, it makes me feel not so lonely or alone at caring for my mom. It is easy. Ha! Preaching to the choir.
aps even came out . my steps jived with what " wendy " had just been taught at a bed bug seminar . that bought some time ..
at the end told em all we werent vaccuming up our protective DE with the suspected bug carrying relatives visiting again . leave us the h*ll alone ..
im still venting a year later . d*mn that was a rough spot ..
Captain, you made me LOL.....and I needed that a LOT today...and you summed it up great...especially after a day like today....hospice blows...thanks for the chuckle....
Plus, I was wandering everyone, when a thread is long such as yours JeanetteB, how do I know where to start reading from and respond? Id like to be more talkative with everyone here :) I dont want leave anyone out!!!
Anywho, that's cool to be the 1100 post!!! :)
Hugs all
So with that said, my whine moment right at this moment is; Posters should take others in consideration before they say they are sick of a title to a thread started by someone else and enjoyed by many. Yeah, that kind of stung and hurt my feelings. Perhaps I am just too sensitive and whiny at times tho eh?
I'm in this for the long haul with my mother. My life has more to it than just care taking, even if it is all consuming at this moment. I have a son whom I haven't seen in 2 years. Friends, a job I loved... an ocean I used to swim in a LIFE. Nothing I can do about it at the moment nor would I probably ever change my decision to care for my mom. I damn sure can whine about it though. It is my Mental Health Vent!
Any time my parents need something my Dad will say "oh, if you are going by such and such store, can you get us this or that".... I realize it is a polite way of asking but I have to roll my eyes because I am NEVER going by this store or that store.... Dad, I hate to shop.
Yesterday I had posted about doing on-line grocery shopping and how my parents are trying to get me to go back into the store to do their shopping. They now claim the on-line service is dropping their eggs as the eggs are cracked. So this morning I dropped off the carton of eggs I got from the on-line service for myself, each and every egg is perfect... then I had an AHA moment, these eggs are Eggland's Best and each egg has an EB printed in red... well, my Mom has very poor eyesight, and now I am wondering if she sees the imprint logo that she is thinking the egg is damaged.... can't wait for her to open the carton and use an egg :)
what i learned from it ; they report to family doc , you can too .. if they stress your household doc will light em up ..
Like my mother's gardeners. They don't call me back, they don't do what needs to be done. When I was whining to my husband about it, he was so angry, he advised me not to do the work that they should be doing. But the problem won't be solved that way, and I don't have time to let them go, then find replacements, and so on. So I just make the 6 hour r/t drive, take time off work, make several trips to get hundreds of pounds of gravel because I don't have a truck, and do it myself. Sheesh!!!
With so many health issues and continued deterioration, after four years it was clear I couldn't care for her 24/7/365 any more and after a really bad fall (again - 2 a.m.. blood everywhere, called an ambulance) which put her in hospital she went into the NH 18 months ago. Since then she's had another stroke and broken the other hip. She's 88, bed ridden, eats little, can barely speak and the dementia is severe. She's just a shell now, slowly fading away but she's in no pain and mostly sleeps.
She's had the very best of everything her whole life, though she wouldn't lift a finger to help her parents or anyone else for that matter, so she's had a good kick at the can. I don't know how much longer she can continue. Could be days, weeks or even a few months. Just go day by day.
Captain..haha.....now I am a fan of the hair clipping shears myself. I cut Mama's hair all the time...I think you absolutely have the right approach, let em hoot and holler and then when they go do what you want to do to help your loved one and yourself...I also cancelled today's bath appointment..by the time she got here it was going to be right in the middle of mama's nap and so that is zero help..and if it's no help then what's the point...the nursing is great, the provider is great...I can live without the bathing aid unless it's someone who is an actual help...now I feel better....
control freak .. i visited edna today . nurse kindly told me they were going to get ednas bangs clipped out of her eyes next week . mr control freak with the scissors in his back pocket said " thats just great " and smiled in agreement .
we got caught right after lunch . edna sitting perfectly still with her eyes closed and me trimming hair .
" dorreen " gave me free lunch again , nobody was surprised by the hair trim and they all learned what ive been sayin . just work around poa . shes thick between the ears ..
She doesn't hear me, because she refuses to listen. She wants what she wants. Well, guess what? I get to be the evil daughter from h*ll in a few days, and will take her car away before she gets arrested, in an accident, someone gets hurt, she gets sued, etc....
It took me a full day to get up the nerve to call the home care agency and ask the person in charge to please talk to my mother's care giver, and let her know how important it was that she be more 'take charge' and not be intimidated by my mother. If this person is going to be cowed by my mother, then what good will it do to have her there? I'm doing this pretty much long distance, and I am not able to babysit the caregiver (ARGH!).
Don't belittle yourself, Hope, and wrongly label yourself by saying you're a control freak. You've got to have some REAL, RELIABLE assistance from the people you pay. And you need some real downtime for yourself as well. Don't apologize for that.
When did you place your mom? Does her decline seem more rapid in nursing home then when she was home? I think some probably thrive, but like the disease it is different for everyone.