I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
I am by no means the perfect caregiver. I am exhausted and worried. And I have to vent when things like this happen. We are trying to get some help during the afternoon to cover the gap. It is hard to get things done like this when we both work full time. Charles took last week off to try to get some things in place. One thing is the POA, which FIL is not wanting. He somehow thinks he is in charge of things. Dementia is something out of my realm. And it is difficult for me to feel like I am the mayor of Crazytown. When FIL starts talking about some thing or the other, he sounds rational at times, and then I find out that what he was talking about never happened. So I just listen, and nod, and go along with him. I am finding that I have a lot more patience than I ever imagined.
Anyway, that is my whine for the day. Right now it is quiet and peaceful.
Bliss.
Christine
How I wished I wasn't an only child and had a sibling willing to drive my parents where ever they wished, got their groceries, took them to their doctor appointments, barber, hardware store, and picked up their mail at their post office box.
I get a similar thing - oh it's so far, oh we're so busy, oh it's so hard to find the time. They can find the d*mn time when it suits them, can't they? - like your relatives can suddenly bounce back to rude health when there's a glass of Champagne in the offing. Fume seethe.
Last time I attempted to take her to day care, which was just to look around, she threatened to find a knife and stab some of the staff. Trust me, they know all about her and will have a plan upon next arrival. She then spent the rest of the day being as mean as she could be, which is pretty darn mean!!
Is there such a thing as a peaceful co existence with an AD parent?
That gash on her arm sounds like she caught the corner of the counter top in the kitchen. I tend to bump into those, myself.... the corner of my desk at work... and the tall foot board at the end of the bed. I need to baby proof the home from me !!
reconnected with edna today at the waters nursing home and right on time i must say . she didnt know if id been gone for 3 hours or three months . just wanted to know where id been . i told her i had to go to chicago and see my grandkids . shes content , knowing ill be by in the morning with the krispy kreeme donut and as always , poa is just a minor irritant .
d*mn , aps done a good job . they used me a time or two but they got edna placed , thats what matters . my hats off to them but ill have to write and tell em they never had me flim - flammed at any moment . this is my second rodeo with the same two caseworkers .
the waters girls recognized me from 6 months ago and fed me lunch . it dont get any better than this . maybe it does . im gonna cut some more firewood and me and ike are going back to chicago . ike heard that s*it , hes only 8 feet outside the door ..
Sent mom to my oldest brothers for a week... mom had been obsessing over her going to day care (attempt # 2) and started having a giant tantrum. I finally called the EMT's, they came, said she wasn't hurt, just upset, had me call my brothers to come get her. They did. Oldest brother's wife apparently had mom duty..
Oldest bro brought her home yesterday afternoon. Mom had one of those purple stretchy wraps on her right forearm, the kind that holds bandages in place. I asked what happened. She fell. I unwrapped it and saw a 10 inch gash running down her arm with at least 20 butterfly band-aid's ... SHE FELL ON WHAT? He only would say she fell while in the kitchen. She hadn't bathed in a week so I gave her a nice long soak in lavender salts only to find big bruises on her from the apparent fall. This morning she is very sore, her back hurts and she has a headache. I am taking her to her Drs tomorrow. She wants to die. Of course she still hates me and says I'm trying to kill her. Both brothers are mad (again) at me because this happens to be the second time they've brought her home bloodied and bruised. Last time she fell down concrete steps and busted her face. I'd had enough and blew several gaskets on them yesterday. They say they're never coming back here. Good riddance.
Today, as soon as I got in the door from work, Dad called, he wanted me to drive him to his primary doctor... already I started to panic and here I wasn't even in the car yet, plus I had an appointment for myself which I probably would have to reschedule.... Dad said had to go to his doctor because the on-line pharmacy wanted him to get a check-up for they wouldn't renew one set of pills. Told Dad to check with his doctor, as we were just there a few months ago. Calls went back and worth. I am still not sure what is going on, but Dad is an adult and he needs to manage his own health needs, I will be just the driver and his set of ears at the doctors. Egads, I am a senior driving a senior :P
Hope you have me cracking up "hose and girdles" two phrases I have not heard in years. Its amazing how people feel up to doing things when they want to. I know very well about the do gooders who want to be seen and recognized. Im glad you have the strength and wisdom to see them for who they are.
Thank you for understanding that this woman has taken over and thats how I see it. However when my sister is in town,everything is peaceful. She takes her calls outside and doesnt act as if she runs the house. This only goes to show that the day to day behavior is deliberate.
In your situation...I don't know what to say....I know what I'd want to say to all of them....but I do know every situation is different...I just know I could not take it...I would be so p o'd that this person WHO YALL ARE PAYING is basically taking over your home....Oh man, it makes me angry thinking about it....I know the infamous day the home health lady came to bath Mama and this was one whom we had not been having...this one started ordering me around...it was the last time she came here I can assure you......not having it in my home....bless your heart...
This is an employee, not a relative. As much as my siblings say my opinion counts, it doesnt. Ive brought her behavior to their attention numerous times. She knows that as long as Dad is happy, my opinion doesnt count. So I have to put up with the daily nonsense.
china will respond with hot looking nanny robots . its no joke . one of em just treated me for hepc at the indy va . " lilly " 30 years too young -- good one god ..
i think they were all hot looking robots . had my d*ck jumpin around like a compass in a whirlwind ..