This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
I went to the Post Office to pick up my package - large wedge pillow that folds in half. The PO agent comes out carrying a large box! She took one look at my built, & exclaimed so loud for everyone to hear, "It's almost bigger than you!" I responded back, "Nah, it's almost half my size!" I had a bit of a problem carrying the box that was almost too wide for my arms to stretch to carry it. Jerk of a guy saw me with the box behind him and he just walked through the door without holding it open. Remember how I said this island is small? He works for a law office as their runner or jack-of-all-trades guy. So, I had to turn backwards to open the door. As I stared at the next door to get through, a military guy who just walked in, without even looking at me, turned around and opened the door. I sincerely said, "I am most appreciative! Thank you!" .... He didn't even reply to me at all. {sigh...}
Yes, The pain is why I won't read e-books. Also, You have to print out the book in case your device crashes. Hardcopy versions are so much easier.
I have enough D, C, AA, and AAA. But not enough 9V.
Book, thanks for the cheering \o/ I like that one.
You have been a blessing in your grandma's life but if she has dementia her needs will increase and at 89 it will likely be very difficult for you to continue to care for her in your home
If her mood is changing recently then a doctor visit is a good idea including ruling out an UTI. Before a crisis hits, start to make a plan so that you don't abandon her. You can contact your county area on aging to do a needs assessment and identify services for grandma.
If you start a new question thread, you will get more direct replies
\o/ \o/ \o/ (cheering)
*\o/* *\o/* *\o/* (cheering w pompoms)
( '• ̀~ •́)`. .... {looks irritated, doesn’t it?}
(⌐■_■) .... {I like this one I but don’t know when to use it.}
Though some responses that others post does anger me. We all need to remember that we do not need to understand everything in order to be compassionate.
Stop ordering dolls.
Apologies, this has become a religious discussion Bookluvr.
It will most likely anger many people on the forum. So angry, in fact, that I am editing my post on the demand of another poster.
Of course she is taking risks and the worst might happy but she is happy, hang on to that.
Can you return the parcel with the used dolls without opening it. Just write "Unknown return to sender" on the box.
Just talked to my cleaner who is psychic and she suggested you take it to a priest and get her blessed before you throw her in the trash. She said have them use holy water. That would probably be RC so you may want to go to one of your native ministers and have them exorcize her or whatever. Just a suggestion to neutralize her before you trash her so she can't come back and do bad things to you.
She is constantly doing things she shouldn't be doing
Didn't I say that this new year I will learn to have courage and determination? Time to put it to the test. Ohhhh, pleeeaaase do not have it come back after I've thrown it!!! I need to pray extra hard as I carry her. My usual very short repetitive words will be: "please protect us from evil, please protect us from evil, " since this sentence is easier coming from my heart/mind/soul.... Must mean it from deep within in order for it to happen, you know... When my 2 used dolls arrive in the mail, I will automatically throw it without opening the box. That's what I get for ordering used dolls...
If you are a member of a cult, you can start by questioning their doctrine.
They will ultimately disfellowship a member if you disagree with them over time, and keep asking questions.
Then you will be ex-communicated, says my husband. He was too young to be baptised into his mother's religion, but his Mother was ex-communicated after questioning their doctrine and disagreeing with them.
This is only one way out, there are others.
Book, I am sure that your emotions are not up for this process, but I wanted you to know there is hope for you. I don't think that I am the right person to talk to, but there will be others who know you better. Maybe not on AC, but somewhere.
Put off any fears or thoughts about your religion until after the new year. imo.
Feel better soon Bookluvr!
Know that you are loved!
Years ago, my ex boyfriend (Catholic) told me that we can marry and move to the states. He figured that this is the only way I cannot be dragged back into my religion.
Just tell them you are going now to a different church (name names), and you will find out what "no pressure" means.