This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
It scares me that I've been doing full time work (one boss is sooooo much like dad that they couldn't keep employees- until I came along 21 years ago) (one boss who backstabs) and then go home to do my shift. With Emphasis on very few off island vacations. I do my best to go to the doctor when my health is compromised. I at least go to the dentist once a year and cringe at paying $225.00 self pay.
Fave niece also commented last week, several times, that my allergies are upping (what I wasn't allergic to - I now am). She was surprised that I ate the coconut stew because I'm lactose intolerant. After I ate it, she told me to take the Benadryl. I said no because I'm not allergic to coconut... That night, I broke out in hives. Is it the coconut or is it the milk? I found a small paper journal to write my daily activities and meals.
Oh oh.. while typing here, I smell poop... I sure hope he didn't...
I just finished eating dinner, same food I always eat... OMG! My eyes are swelling. Slight pain on the left eye. Both were, are very very itchy. I need to download an app to keep track of my activity, meals to find where my allergies are coming from.
No news about the baby because... there's no news.
Glad, I'm soooo happy that granddaughter's fine. Serious, yes. But still fine. I'm really, really glad she's fine. ... Great that DIL is doing fine, too. My dad was always against epidermal. He said it's never good to mess with the spinal cord. You don't know the consequences of sticking things into it. It will come back to bite you.
CM, Green would scare me. After going through mom's dementia violent stage, I'm just plain scared of old people and odd people. He must truly believed on those protein wisdom.
Onedoor, it's okay. My sibs and I can disagree loudly but we would never admit we were wrong. Because I'm right, and sibs are wrong. =). Thanks for having my back.
Pam and Barb, thanks. Niece is fine. In lots of pain. She's been pushing herself to sit up and walk because when she goes home, she will be by herself. We're all giving her tips... teacher niece about after C-section stuff, mine on after hyster surgery... one tip I emphasized is pillows, lots of pillows... remind her parents to bring 3 pillows when picking her up from the hospital. One pillow to sit on, one behind her back and one between her stomach and seatbelt. I warned her that even with these pillows, every bump and holes will be very painful. That I was still driving with a pillow on my tummy 1 month later.
Book, baby is over 2 lbs? That's great? Hoping for the best.
Jlm, hope that it works out for your mom.
DIL had some problems with the epidural, and leaking spinal fluid, which is why they kept her and the baby in the hospital Friday night. Then when getting ready to discharge they discovered the heart murmur, so we are very fortunate, things happen for a reason. They found the heart issue very quickly, had they been discharged it could have been a much different scenario.
I had not seen her yet. After the post op my son asked me if I wanted to. WHAT, are you kidding?! She looked good, good color, BP where it should be. And she is absolutely beautiful, even with all the tubes etc she is connected to. She was resting well, a combo of anesthesia and pain meds that they will monitor closely. They anticipate disconnecting her tomorrow. Then a 3-5 day stay which they say may be more or may be less. That's why they call it practicing medicine, I guess. So much depends on......
After my 92 yo mom being moved here from Fla to Lexington, and 3 full months of pounding me to move back alone, i have decided to get this person out of my life.
Sending her back to her condo, and be rid of this mean, nasty person who has destroyed my serenity. I wish i could say i was stronger, buy i have given up, and will grant her request, to essentially go and deteriorate all by herself.
Very sad, but i cannot take being driven daily like this.
She lived alone for 25 years, and thinks i talked her into moving her in a weak moment for her.
Cost me $7K to move her furniture, i moved here into a really nice place here.
I know lots of folks on forum can relate to alot of this stuff, but i reached my limit today, and have raised the white flag.
Thanks for listening....
Stanley Owen Green (22 February 1915 – 4 December 1993), known as the Protein Man, was a human billboard who became a well-known figure in central London in the latter half of the 20th century.[2]
Green patrolled Oxford Street in the West End for 25 years, from 1968 until 1993, with a placard recommending "protein wisdom", a low-protein diet that he said would dampen the libido and make people kinder. His 14-page pamphlet, Eight Passion Proteins with Care, sold 87,000 copies over 20 years.[1]
Green's campaign to suppress desire, as one commentator called it, was not always popular, but he became one of London's much-loved eccentrics. The Sunday Times interviewed him in 1985, and his "less passion from less protein" slogan was used by the fashion house Red or Dead.[3]
When he died at the age of 78, the Daily Telegraph, Guardian and Times published his obituary, and the Museum of London added his pamphlets and placards to their collection. In 2006 his biography was included in the Oxford Dictionary of National Biography.[2]
Good ol' Wikipedia, I knew they'd know :) I'm sure he did have one sign that banged on about the end of the world, though.
I have wondered if old people get fixed on the end of the world because their own worlds are coming to an end.
The past 2 ultrasounds said it was a girl. Surprise! It's a boy. I don't know much because nothing is being said until niece sees the doctor. Baby is 36cm, 1.190ml, on oxygen (she thinks, since she hasn't seen the baby yet.) That was fave sis update. I texted back - what about ur daughter? She's doing fine.
I was going to leave work on time but our system provider was late and arrived at 5:30pm, our closing time. She spent 1 hr with us showing us how to use the new reservation system. She assigned me to watch some video lessons but I'm just tooo tired to sit and watch and maintain the info.
I left the office at 630pm. It was very dark. My eyes were hurting from trying to see through the dark. I arrived at the hospital. Guard said only 2 visitors at a time, and niece has 2 visitors. I was really exhausted, grumpy and hungry. I texted sis to let daughter know that I tried to visit. I'm going home.
Felt bad. Hours later, niece messaged me that she wanted to see me. I was behind with my dinner, changing dad's pamper, etc.. I'm really tired. Going to try to sleep early - not past 1:00am. Anyway, the room is...no my body is swaying as I'm typing. So, I'm going to cut it short. I just need to answer a question someone asked me in the hospice page....oops, page is blurring...
My experience with using the facility doc have been that they do not know your parent's history like their primary care doc did...you really have to fill them in - even things that you now take for granted, they need to know. I had an experience that I wont go into now where the doc assumed something about my mom and told my estranged sisters very wrong information.