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Mica, The poem, "footprints in the sand" addresses briefly what you have described. Asking about the darkest times in a person's life, the question was asked why, when our footprints showed us walking together, were there only one set of footprints during those darks times?
The answer was given:
"It was then that I carried you."
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I am in the midst of such a strange experience.
Back in June I seemed to have "broken"...
so severely that even my spiritual beliefs vanished! Poof!
All my empathic feelings, connections and feelings towards my family and others- gone.
I have been deeply disturbed by this- especially about my beliefs which were such a huge part of my life.
( it happened after finding all the forged checks and huge amounts my sister took out of joint account of fathers)
Anyways, yesterday I found out it is psychological trauma- it even mentions loss of fundamental spiritual beliefs as a symptom!
I have been quite concerned about myself and what happened to "me"... now i at least have a name for it..
Has anyone else experienced such a break?
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I've tried fresh sushi at a Japanese restaurant in a hotel. I've also tried sushi at the Sushi Rock restaurant. The sushi that the Korean woman dropped off was so much better than those other sushi. Every bite had flavor. And, most of all, the 3 different ones I sampled enthusiastically was spicy hot. I'm a bit saddened that I was such a glutton eating those sushi, I don't have room for my ice cream. I was told that the woman works in a hotel restaurant. Later. 11:30pm, still need to pay bills since I will take time tomorrow to drop off the payments.
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BOOKLUVR, the Sushi sounds amazing! I didn't think that I liked it either, but my kids took me to this Sushi place, and all but forced me to try it, and now I'm hooked! I didn't think I would like the raw fish, but it doesn't taste fishy at all, mor kind of buttery, and mild. I guess this is the best Sushi around, and is quite popular amongst this younger croud. I Love it! Such a great trade off you've got there, and I'll bet her salsa is amazing too!
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From the Bangor Maine Police FB .. ( Trying to bring positive stories and outlooks against the 24/7 nonstop bad news we hear on TV, radio,etc...)

"And, in other news, a woman on the west side of Bangor saw an elderly woman standing on her front lawn. It was not a woman she had seen before and the fact that the woman was wearing a night gown was concerning to her.

She summoned the police. The officer found that the woman knew her own name but did not know where she lived or with whom she lived with. The officer did some research and found that the woman lived nearby and gave her a ride home. The folks did not realize that the woman, who suffers from dementia, was missing from the house.

The caller, Susan, went back to being a good neighbor."
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Dad's been touching inside his pamper constantly now. Constantly calling oldest sis name like every 5 minutes. Like a dripping faucet. Nonstop. Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip. Talking nonstop now past midnight. Go to sleep!

I have 1 week off on Aug 8th. I'm thinking of staying home on Tuesday and Thursday so that oldest sis gets "off". And then I pretend to go to work on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I'll spend those days at fave sis house.

I discovered another great free online comic, Gunnerkrigg Court.

Is anyone here a reader of the author, Ilona Andrews? She's one of my favorite authors. She has 4 book series... Kate Daniels, the Edge, Innkeeper. I didn't like The Edge series. Too much violence and death, betrayals, etc... Anyway, Ilona Andrews website has weekly updates on her 3rd book of the Innkeeper series. We're now on Chapter 9. Even though she's revealing her book chapter after chapter before it's release, I will still buy the book when it comes out.

Our house is old and things are falling apart/breaking down. Oldest sis is not much of a help. Sometimes I wonder..... Weird,....while I'm typing on the iPad and hit Enter, the cursor flashes all around the word. Never seen that happen.....
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Pam, I smiled at your latest update. I'm glad that you and your hubs had 2 glorious weeks free of caregiving. A home vacation.

57, maybe just part of old age and/or side affects of meds... My dad's dizziness and falling were warnings of the stroke. My dizziness and falling was a heart infection. Dizziness/vertigo is just too broad for variety of health issues. So I voted for UTI since that was what most elderly suffer from.... Let's hope that the Drug works again.
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No UTI for dad. I thought a much. Talked with his doc on Monday night. The staff says he walks himself to the from door from his wheelchair and kicks the door and uses his forearms to bang on the arm bar of the door. Nurse is afraid he may injure himself. So doc prescribed lorazepam again and will review his records from the AL next month to see if another drug is needed.
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Mom comes home tomorrow,,, but hubs and have had a great 2 weeks!
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Thanks book. Well the hospital didn't test dads urine as his birthdate was wrong. They took a sample this morning but hadn't run it to hospital. I could always take it tomorrow to dads doctor instead. Probably cheaper. He was really in good spirits today. I do not think its a UTI though.
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57- hopefully it's just UTI....I've had it twice... As for fear of falling while sitting, years ago, I experienced that first time. I was at work when suddenly the room started spinning. More like I was spinning and I swear I was going to fall if I hadn't had the side arms of my chair. Dizziness can be caused by lots of things. Let's hope this is the case with your dad. One day at a time. And don't forget to breathe deeply. My body is so used to stress and lack of oxygen that when I breathe in deeply I get lightheaded from over oxygenated. =). {{{{Hugs}}}}
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Book, we are only active in spurts..LOL. Mom is pretty frail, but when she sets her mind to something she is stubborn! Aunt is much healthier. We try to keep mom occupied so she doesn;t sit around too much and get depressed! Thus the casino trips every month or so.. Our next "vacay" is to a friends house at the beach but it;s very low key.. we take drives, go to the casino ( of course) and eat out and walk a bit on the boardwalk. It's in Sept so it;s cooler. Mom and Aunt spend alot of time in the house reading...LOL But we all get a change of scenery. And this year daughter and her honey are going to try to come for a few days too!!
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Stressed almost every day about dad. Today I got a call blood in urine so urine was dropped off at hospital. Waiting for results. OT called dad can walk with gait belt and walker but no that has declined. They was a psych nurse visit now as he is so afraid he will fall when he sits down. No taking him out from assisted live no anywhere by myself. My sleep is fragmented and stress eating. Last night one of my cats decided to stay outside and I was screaming calling for him must have walked miles and miles it seemed. Of course he pops up like nothing is wrong. So wound up I couldn't sleep until 1 am so today was a write off in productivity.
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1:00am. Trying to squeeze as much free time as I can before bedtime. I learned something new today from niece. She was so glad that she wore double gloves when changing grandpa's pamper. I asked, double gloves? She replied, yes, 2 gloves on each hand. When her gloved hand got so filthy, she pulled the top gloves off and still had on the 2nd gloves.

That is so neat. I usually wear one set of gloves. When it gets filthy, I take it off. But trying to put on new gloves on sweaty hands are difficult because it won't go up.
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Ugh! My eyes are closing and I still need to change his poopy pamper. Niece said his pants was awful and she couldn't figure where to start. Her back was killing her from bending. I told niece that the next time he makes that awful poopy mess on his clothes and bedding, do what I did. Cut the d*rn pants and tshirt. I'd rather she cut the tshirt rather than trying to slip it off his head with a no moving left arm and get the poop all over his head and pillows. Just cut and throw. Oldest sis saw me throwing the blanket into the trash. I said, "I'm not going to scrub the poo off. You?" She shook her head no. Into the trash, it went....
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I asked niece if she was throwing up yesterday afternoon. I had a queasy stomach while eating tacos and throughout the afternoon. She did. I told her that I can't wait to end this. I'm always hungry and yet all my favorite food makes me nauseous. I'm no longer interested in it.

She texted me this afternoon that grandpa made a real bad mess with his poop. The home care nurse didn't assist her.... As I'm typing this, I am just so exhausted. My eyes are practically closing as his pamper. Maybe sleep early.
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Phoenix, great that you all passed with the initial inspection. Can you imagine going through it the 2nd time if you needed some 'improvement '? That'll be double the cost, too. With mom, we had so much lacking...fire extinguishers and emergency power lights.

Pam, everyone in your family are so active! My parents have always been home buddies. I guess I would too - if I had 8 kids tagging along. We actually lost baby bro (under age 6?) at the store. We all went for our last bathroom break before going to the next store. None of us noticed that someone was missing when we piled like sardines in the can ..car.. Until we reached the next store. They went back to the store, who sent them to the police station. After this incident, we had to do head counts all the time.
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Hubs and I are feeling pretty good.. we needed this break, although we miss mom. She is having fun, but she called already to say she wants to come home Monday.. then called back the next day to say she;ll come home on Thursday. I think my Aunt has something to do with that!! I asked her if she was homesick,, she said no, they were too busy for that. So I think she is tired.. but they are going to take it easy after tomorrow. And her new hearing aides need adjusted and she needs a haircut... so I'll be busy when she gets home! back to work tomorrow, and hubs takes his folks to 2 hair apts, a Dr apt and the grocery store as BIL is on vacay again! But we're not complaining.. It's been great!
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Well we had the OT visit today to see what improvements he could make to the way I had adapted the apartment. He was her almost 2 hours and decided we had it just about right!!!!! And how much did that cost one wonders....grrrrr
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I woke up rudely with a terrible pounding headache around 4am. I tried to go back to sleep and slightly was successful. I finally couldn't stand the pain by 6am. So I googled YouTube headaches relief.

1. A specific tonal music can relax the muscle tension and release the endo-something that deals with pain. But I would need a stereo-something headphones. Don't have that...so skip.

2. So I found this other video by Kamil. Weird, odd! Throughout the video, he repeatedly asks: where's your headache? {I pointed to my forehead} What color is it? {huh? Blaaack?} What shape is it? {{round?}}}..... This was soooo weird! But because my headache was getting worse, I tried it.... He's right! My headache went from a 9 to 1 in the pain scale level.

3. Neck massage using pressure points behind the neck. I tried it and my low pain level of 1 shot up so fast to a 5.
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Pam, enjoy your vacation from caregiving!

Windy, not a 'sandwich' caregiver but I heard it's harder for those who are. At least you didn't go overboard by going to one end of the spectrum (100% on mother and 0% on hubby and kids.) So, you're juggling it fine even if you feel like you're being stretched too thin. Yeah, meds takes about a month to kick in. Just keep an eye on the side effects. My cholest pills took about 2 months before I felt the real bad side effects. Not talking about the 2 months of pounding headaches, ringing ears, etc... When it started affecting my logical numerical data-building info at work, I knew it was time to quit cold turkey. (A business associate said that she stopped her pills when she got into her car after work, and completely did not know how to operate it!) So, be sure to keep an eye on the side effects.
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Veronica, by the time the elder left, I had given in. I will try to find time to attend a special event. I was invited to be seated next to them at that event. If I want to. You see in the past events, I would not sit with them. For me, they represent Guilt (triggers my guilty conscience.) I'm going to be drained physically and emotionally after the event based on the past ones.
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When my niece from Colorado was visiting us in June, I was so worried that odd things might happen to her. I actually sighed with relief halfway thru her stay that nothing scared her. Her mom had instructed what to say to our ancient ancestors while here. I guessed it work. The next day after this sigh of relief, my niece got locked out from my bedroom. She asked if I had the bedroom key because it's lock. I frowned because my bedroom door never locks by itself (unlike the bathroom door - which I found out recently Only happens to me and no one else.) I got up, walked to my bedroom door, turned the knob - easily, pushed the door open - easily. I turned to niece and she had this wide expression and whispered, "It was locked!" So, I went into my bedroom and spoke to my real-life looking dolls (guards my bedroom's entrances from the bad spirits). I forgot to tell it that niece will be temporarily using my bedroom. So I loudly told them. Then I apologized and said that I will have to cover them. (Older bro from Texas had asked me after his 1st night in my bedroom if I can cover the dolls because they kept watching him all night.).... When I was telling this story to younger bro in VA, he reminded me that the same thing happened to him - my bedroom door had locked him out and I had easily opened it by turning the knob....

Fave niece on Saturday: "OMG Aunty, you won't believe what I was craving yesterday!!!"...
I looked at her, and replied: Chicken soup. Yesterday, I had an overwhelming Need to eat chicken soup. My lunch hour is only 1 hour and I know only 1 place close to my work that has ready-made chicken soup. At the mall. In all the times I pass by that Filipino restaurant, I always see the soup. So, yesterday, I eagerly went there. Guess what? They Had NO Soup!!!" I gave niece a dirty look.

Niece's mouth fell open. Then she started laughing sooooo hard.... I didn't think it was That funny!
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Meant to say fingers crossed for an appointment tomorrow.
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Thank you sweeties. I get so mad at her at times. Today she was just like a wounded little bird. *sigh* It's such a fine balance. She truly does want to die. Told me today her eyesight is going, her hair is going and now her teeth are going,

She wants to be presentable to her grandaughter and her new boyfriend before she never sees them again.

Keeping my fingers crossed.
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There is an otc compound at drug store that you can apply if it is exposed and hurts. I don't know if it works, because I made it to the dentist when a filling disintegrated. Go in to a dentist early-miss only a fewxhours of work?
Don't freak out-the temporary caps by the dentist can look quite decent while waiting for the necessary dental work. Only freak out if you want to.
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Fingers crossed that you can get a dentist appointment for her. I feel so bad for her.
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Oh Gah! I come here to unload my troubles, though I read everyone else's and pray for each and every one. All of you are a God send because it helps me to know I'm not alone.

Anyone else here in a 'sandwich' a.k.a. stuck between somewhat young kids and your elder?

My 19 year old son is experiencing really bad anxiety attacks. Our doctor put him on Prozac for OCD. Two weeks in, it isn't helping much, but he said it could take up to a month to kick in. Just feel so bad for him. He's been thinking he has a brain tumor which his grandpa died from when my son just turned 14. Bad juju. Kid is very sociable and made Dean's list his first year in college. Thinking a good talk therapist may be in order. Worry is my middle name. :(

Hubs and I went to take my mom out to lunch today and I immediately could tell something was wrong when we arrived by the look on her face. Poor dear. One of her front teeth crumbled apart this morning when she was brushing. It looks horrible and she is mortified. To compound matters, my niece (her grand daughter) and boyfriend are flying in from Los Angeles on Wednesday before they move to Germany. It is likely this is the last time she will see her grand daughter. Wish me luck getting an emergency appointment at the dentist Wednesday morning. Hubs can only get that day off work and mom is in a wheelchair. I can't lift her. Needs to be in the morning as the airport to pick my niece up later is a long drive.

Nothing is ever easy, is it?
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Oh girls I feel like a new woman after 2 days,, I would take that extra week but I think they will be tired of each other by then and I want this to happen more often!! and I did tell Mom I;d take her pills for her..LOL Hubs and I are so less stressed, and in reality Mom is easy to live with at this point I feel kinda bad that I feel so GOOD!! But we have gotten alot of the smoke smell out of the house, and done so many chores she wants to "do" but can;t.. Plus she gets defensive about her smoking... And I am avoiding our biggest stressor.. her not eating! They went to see my little cousin and his oldies band play at a vineyard last night, and it looks like they had a great time!
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Ha, yes! A friend recommended Neurontin/Gabapentin helps with the pain of fibromyalgia. Since, I already have some that I did not start to take, and they are not expired, will try that. Having used this a long time ago with some success, guess I just needed a reminder or the confirmation of support from a friend this time.
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