Many of us, myself included, come from a dysfunctional family which adds a lot of weight to the challenges of caregiving. I have read stores on various threads on other topics and decided it would be good to have a thread just for this topic for people to share, vent and discuss.
The idea for this thread originated on the thread named "The Caregiver....How are YOU doing today?"
I thought for a minute. Tomorrow was Mar. 5. But it was written right there on the calendar. I checked again, and there it was "Labour Day"... in Australia.
One doesn't have to have Alz to say the darndest things.
I was looking forward to oversleeping a bit this morning. Didn't happen. My mother came in and told me she needed to go to the hospital because her pulse was 96. I told her that was normal and not to worry. She then called my brother and a doctor about it. I got up and tried to deal with everything.
This made me realize that things are going to be very different now. When my father was alive, my parents were a bit like a buffer for each other. Now there is only me. It is going to be hard to be right there on the front line, instead of in the backfield. I am beginning to think that caring for one parent will be more demanding than caring for two. We will have to see.
My father's funeral is this week. All is arranged except the financial matters that have to be tended to (social security, insurance, etc.). We are all handling things as well as can be expected. It's an uneasy situation, though. I feel like things could change at any moment and we could be totally swamped. I hope not.
My brother has really stepped up this last week. He and his family has been champions. They gave me yesterday off from the hospital and brought my mother home. I was able to get a lot accomplished. We had called Hospice in today. We planned to take him home and set up a hospital bed in the family room. He did not live long enough to come home. He passed as peacefully as could be expected. I am glad that he is at peace now, because his suffering had been bad during the last couple of weeks.
Everyone here is okay. I know we'll be busy the next few days. I wish that dying was easier. There is so much work to be done at a time when we all just need to rest.
As for yourself..take a good book, the newspaper, or favorite mag, run a hot bath, take a radio with you to tune out all the chaos going on outside the door, lock the door and give yourself 20 minutes to be a woman again..
Sounds like help in on the way with your friend coming to stay. While they too may be leaving drama, it will give you someone to laugh with, hug, and a friendly face, but most of all someone in your life WHO WANTS NOTHING!! In my prayers
My mom is not an easy person to reason with..infact she is at times very stubborn.. I feel bad saying this but selfish.. she is very angry today because my husband did not come in and say hello to her.. and because of this reason she wants to leave and now go back to her house.. and at this point I would pack her up and carry her on my back to her house.. but then reality sets in and I know this is not an option..she cannot be alone.. so now along with getting my son together for his hospital stay I have to try to reason with her.. A part of me is furious with her that she would do this to me now knowing all I have going on..and then part of me feels maybe she is that much not in her right mind and she doesnt fully grasp what she does or says.. I have developed a condition I never knew even was a condition.. "Stress-Hives".. amazing how stress works on our bodies.. and my mom is worried because my sister has a very bad cold.. that made me so angry yet I found myself laughing.. a cold is my sisters biggest problem..she has no kids and works part time.. and somehow this is ok.. I told my boys if I ever treat any of you as you have seen me treated.. please put me in a nursing home and never give me the pleasure of even a visit.. I wouldnt deserve even that.
Ucantcare2much-- thankyou.. and yes I will focus on Footprints in the Sand.. We know God has a plan for us all.. but when things just keep happening it is so hard to see.. again thank you for adding us to your prayers.. means so much to me..
I do truly appreciate everyones kindness on here.. we all know the feeling of people turning their backs on us when we need them the very most.. so reading words of support is so comforting.. I wish everyone a peaceful night..