Mom went into Memory care two years ago in Michigan and I am the durable power of attorney. Sister & I were not prepared to house or care for her safely at the time. I am going to have to sell her house soon since no one has been living in it and it is extra bills her savings pays for. I’d like to be able to buy another home with safe setting to be able to take her in and take over her full care. Am I able to use any of her money to be able to purchase said home? She is exhausting her savings fast with the very expensive memory care unit and I know we can take care of her for less in the long run when with some part time help and or adult day care services. It is costing $6700 a month there. It’s either we take her or let her spend every dollar from sale of her home which only will last about 2-3 years where she is and then she would be broke and go on Medicaid. Her POA documents were drawn in Florida and that’s where we ultimately would go back to buy a home, unless we buy in Maryland. Mom was only in Michigan a week and a half before having stroke and landing her in the situation. She moved from Florida. I considered asking elder lawyer but I don’t know what state I need to consult? Michigan where she is or Maryland where I am currently, or Florida? Or can I just do it and it be legal? Very confused. Any thoughts and advise would be appreciated. I know I can’t use her money for my own so I have followed that rule. I know this would be in her best interest.
Depending on where you live, and you find you need to hire 3-shifts of caregivers, it could cost you $20,000 per month, yes per month. That's the amount my Dad paid when he need around the clock caregivers a few years back. That will bite into your Mom's savings a heck of a lot faster than her $6,700 cost in Memory Care.
Do not touch Mom's money to purchase a house. There is always a chance that your Mom may need to go back to a nursing facility, later under Medicaid. And Medicaid may consider whatever $$ you use to buy a house as "gifting". That means Mom will have to come up with the money to pay the facility as Medicaid will not kick in until the gifted amount is reimbursed. See how complex this can be.
This is a legal Fiduciary responsibility that is held to highest standards under the law. You have a right to get expert advice about something you are doing for your mother as her POA. So do see an elder law attorney so that you more fully understand your roles as POA and its powers and limitations.
Someone in the family reported it, and she went to jail for 5 years.
Be VERY careful. Consult an attorney.
You need to sell her home and use those proceeds to pay for her memory care, and when those funds run out you apply for Medicaid for her, and they will continue to pay if your mom is still alive at that point.
I don't think you realize just how difficult it is to care for someone with dementia 24/7. Right now she has lots of people caring for her, and if she were to come live with you, it will be only you providing that same 24/7 care and you will have no life what so ever.
So no you should not buy any house using your moms money under the guise that it's because you want to now care for her. Medicaid will definitely frown at that, and penalize her if and when she would need them in the future.