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Same with me and my 3 siblings! Mom tries to get me to have the big dinners and have family gatherings but I'm tired of doing it all and waiting on them! Nope! Done! As soon as we stopped giving them a freebie dinner and service, they stopped visiting Mom and call me selfish. Mom gets mad because they tell her I am ripping family apart. ME?? They are not far away at all so that's not the issue. They say if WE bring Mom to them and home again, they will visit with her. That's their idea of a break for us. More driving and time away from my home and kids. I said when she's gone those people will no longer exist to me. I figure we don't exist so much to them now unless there's something in it for them so it really won't be a great loss to me later. The only time they bother "acting" like decent, loving children is at BIG extended family gatherings. Basically, when there's an audience. I feel for everyone on this site. God bless you in this very difficult journey.
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I was reading Marlis's blog and came upon this question.

I have to admit I didn't read all responses but the ones I did have the same answers---- CALL and get parent to Adult Day Care, CALL Home Care and have evaluation for services, so you can then figure out how to pay them. DO THIS! DO THAT! etc., etc., etc.,... This is why we caregivers with absent siblings are frustrated.. We are so tired of doing it all.. Most times it's so tiring getting it all organized that you can't even mentally enjoy yourself when you leave the house!

I know that at this stage in my Mom's progression of dementia not one of my absent siblings could stay with her an extended time.. The effects of the inconsistent schedule would be only a giant a** ache for me when I returned! It's just not worth it..I have enough stress now!! I don't need to "rock the boat"..
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