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I've suffered from panic attacks for years. They started in my early thirties. Like you my Doctor has allowed me 8 ativan per. mth. It used to be only 5 but when Covid started I begged him for more. So he allowed me 3 more.

But I try to limit the ativan cause like you I worry about running out so sometimes when I know taking one would help I don't take it cause of that. In fact stupidly sometimes I take all my 8 ativan in the first two weeks and then am left with none. It's a balancing act.

I wish I could advise you with some great advice but I'm a work in process too. But the advice you have received so far is great!
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