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Save yourself ASAP. Good grief woman you belong with your husband. Make other arrangements for mom and the no good guy. You should run away (to your spouse and his nice place). You ARE being controlled, manipulated and treated like a child, and you are accepting this because??? How are you going to feel when you've been there till her end, still have him to deal with, and lost yourself and husband? Find another caretaker or residential care place for them now, and give yourself freedom to go visit them instead of needing to run away. You don't want to run away from your whole life, just the miserable parts. Live YOUR life, not hers. If their situation is not going to get better neither is yours, unless you take control of what you can, which is the part of your life that is miserable. You don't have to ask permission to love yourself and save yourself. Can you get support for this from your husband, children, others, or Aging Care? Figure out what you're waiting for and put a plan into action. Good Luck. You are facing what many others in this site are facing. Don't become immobilized and still feel trapped this time next year, or even next month. Go towards the light.
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It helps to know I'm not alone with these feelings but even better to connect with you all. Thank you so much!
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I attempted to get Saturdays off and sleep over with hubs. It worked 3 times and no has progressed later and later to now where I get to leave after dinner 7 pm and return at 9 am for breakfast. My husband works nights so I essentially only get 2 hours with him. Then i stress while im gone that everything is all right.I just keep trying to hold on, and hope hubby will too.
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Every time I get behind the wheel I want to keep driving away "far away"! But not without my husband...
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Hm. I can see that they need help and support, yes. But why does it have to be exclusively provided by you?

Doesn't your husband need you? There are lots of caregiver options, but only you can do the job of being his wife..!
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Oh it IS a nice place too. I stay because they need me. To cook, clean, serve. To pick him up off the floor when he collapses. To explain to the cops she was hallucinating when she called about peeping Toms at 4am. He is worthless and she is helpless. I love them but.......
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I've missed something: why could you not go with your husband to his new place, please?
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YES! I have thought of running away many times. But the thought of even thinking about packing a very small bag for myself leaves me with less energy... :) Strength and courage, that's what I wish for you.
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Yes.
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