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I'm kind of with the others here, wondering why you have stepped up to take care of your EX husband. You obviously are a much bigger person than I am. But all that aside, I'm gathering from the wording of your question, that he is already in your home, so here's what I will share. My husband too was completely bedridden, with a supra pubic catheter, and under Hospice care in our home, for 22 months. I had to hire an aide to come every morning to put him on the bedside commode so he could poop. It did take a little while to get his body on that schedule, but once it was, it worked like a charm. I can tell you it's much easier cleaning someone up, when they are standing(or in my husbands case, being held up,) then trying to clean them while they are laying down. The aide would hold him up, while I wiped and cleaned him.

Also when the Hospice aides come to bathe him,(which they normally come twice a week) if he has any poop in his diaper, they are required to change him and clean him up. I hope that was helpful, and I wish you the very best.
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Few questions for you.
Who is “they”?
If he is an ex you have no responsibility to take this on. And no one can “force” you to take someone into your home.
The Hospice Social Worker can help in finding other options that would be suitable.
IF you do want to take this on Hospice can show you how to care for your ex. You also can have HIM pay for caregivers that can aid in his care
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Which is it? Profile says hospice wants to place ex husband in your home.

Question says he is in your home.

If he isn’t in your home, refuse to take him into your home if you don’t want this responsibility.

Where was he living before? Alone? In a facility?

How did hospice handle his bowel issues?

Best wishes to you.
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Charleston Nov 2020
He is still in the hospital. He has been there for a month. He will be placed with hospice as soon as they find a place for him to stay. He was living alone and working. All of this just happened last month. We have not lived together in over 6 years and he has lived alone and worked. The nurses take care of his bowel issues. They have to give him lactulose because his ammonia and bilirubin are high in his system. The lactulose make him have bad bowel movments.
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