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Although not as extreme, I am dealing with a similar situation. We weren't aware of some problems until my daughter moved with my mom under court order. She isn't allowed around her siblings. My sister has been running the day to day finances and getting her to the Dr, but there has been no over-site. When I question my sister I get a fight or told she will get to me later. She is the only one of the 4 of us that were available for daily care and she was homeless at the time she moved in.
She doesn't give mom any confidence in herself, acting like mom is incapable of doing anything. Since mom is in a recovery home for a few weeks I was able to talk to her. I am now (reason for joining here) trying to get things together to take over.
Use the legal avenues to secure your mother's care. Make sure you are looking at her needs. not just what you want for her. Help her enjoy the sunset of her life. My mom has told me things this week that I was un-aware of. She doesn't know how to talk to us about some of it. I suggested that she talk to a therapist so that she can get those things behind her so that she can look forward...
Best of luck, you only get one mom, take care of her!
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Indycoop, strange as it may seem, you may really be much better off than your brother! Being the "golden favorite who can do no wrong" may look nice on the outside, the reality may be not so pretty - a "favorite" who is colonized, rendered incompetent by overprotection, etc. It is good for you to see that you may be jealous of him, but in fact he may be jealous of you! (Though don't expect him to admit it.)
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Im sorry you and your family are going through this. As others mentioned money and decline in a loved ones health really makes life go wild. Im not in the exact same situation as you although the will has come up from time to time ( for now) in my family.

If you chose not to hire an attorney to fight it, its up to you. Either way, I pray you and your family find peace. Hugs
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I'd think this was my family, but I don't have any brothers. I had to get a conservatorship because of the money issues. If all of a parent's money gets spent on others instead of the parent, when the money is all gone, Medicaid won't step in. Medicaid is welfare and you don't qualify for welfare when you gifted your money to others. When mom is out of money will this 'favorite' still be willing to care for her? I bet not.

Someone should talk to an attorney and see about applying for a conservatorship and checking titles on property such as real estate and vehicles to see if they suddenly change hands, that sort of thing.
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You can call adult protective services if you suspect her money and assets are being exploited. Being a caregiver can be difficult, especially is there are siblings that disagree or take advantage of Mom. You need to talk to your mother, volunteer to take her to her next doctor appointment, this will allow you to not only talk to your mother but you can speak with her doc. It sounds like a difficult situation with no easy answers. You can receive caregiver support, call your local Area Agency on Aging for more info.
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