Hi,
My dad just passed away a few months ago. It was a really difficult situation and caused a lot of trauma for me. Lately, planning my dad's service has been a disaster. I wanted to do something to honor him, but I've been surprised just how awful my family has been. My uncle let me know how much he hated everything I planned and how I don't think of anyone else in the family. My aunt proceeded to act like it was a strain for her and another uncle of mine to even come and just yesterday asked me if I'll be coming to visit them with a family member they dislike. I said why would I be doing that? We are planning my dad's service HERE, I don't have time to travel to your house when everyone is traveling here for the service! It was a ridiculous question. She wants to make sure that family member doesn't come to their house to visit and that I basically need to make sure that doesn't happen. I told her no way is that my responsibility and she needs to handle it. Since my dad has died, I've been met with rude comments and some of the worst behavior from my family. I've honestly thought of canceling the service, but want to proceed for my dad to honor him. I know I just have to set boundaries, but when you're in pain and your family treats you badly it's so hurtful. I feel I won't look at them the same after this. Just feels like another blow after dealing with one of the worst things. 😢
I don't think it will ever dawn on them what you / I have done. You be true to you and stop harassing yourself to make things perfect for everyone else. You do what it takes for you to move forward. I've already taken steps for moms funeral, she loves everything and I'm not going to take crap from anyone about it! Your father needs to rest in peace, so you can too!
I am sorry that you have to deal with all of this.
((HUGS))
My SIL is Japanese with strong traditions. She never had a service, cremated my brother, and has a "shrine" with ashes of him and their beloved cat, right next to each other. Most of those people who could have stirred up anxiety have given up asking. Works for me!
I am sorry that you have to deal with all of this.
((HUGS))
My SIL is Japanese with strong traditions. She never had a service, cremated my brother, and has a "shrine" with ashes of him and their beloved cat, right next to each other in a tucked away area of the house. Most of those people who could have stirred up anxiety about a funeral have given up asking. Works for me!
I recently attended a memorial service for my sister. Her husband was too distraught to come although he had helped organize it. Their daughter and her husband did a wonderful job of the presentation of readings and a slide show of photos of her life. Was it the one I would have planned? No, but I was asked for pictures and provided a reading and am content with that. She knew how I felt about her and nothing can change that.