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Thank you and this controlling personality trait is normal especially since they moved here 4 years ago. I never noticed it as much before that because after high school I never lived at home and usually lived about 800 miles away so I was only around her for visits. My dads health deterioration has only exasperated it. The bedsore issue is something on my mind too and I hope to talk to some staff or Doctor at the nursing home before decisions are made to release him (if that is even an option). Thank you for your comment.
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So, is your mom typically a very controlling person, or is this new behavior since dad's illness?

It's one thing if she's in panic mode. You may be able to reason with her, get staff at the nh to talk to her about letting them do their jobs.

But if this is a lifelong personality trait, you might find that you need some help in setting up boundaries. Most of us were well trained to say "yes ma'am " when our elders told us what to do. At this point, though, you need to protect your mental and physical health.

Talk to the social worker at the rehab/nh. They may be able to help.

I might also point out that the fact that dad developed a bedsore may be a wakeup call that dad neecs to be in a facility, longterm, for a higher level of care. Bedsores can happen anywhere, anytime, but when they do, you need to examine the care that is being given closely.
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