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Do NOT bring your parents into your new house. Go ahead with the accessible bathroom and the ramp, etc. That is only prudent when you are building a retirement home -- someday either you or your wife (or both) may be very glad you planned ahead.

Come up with some options for them and a plan for yourselves. They can choose among their options or find other options themselves, but your part of the plan is not negotiable, as CandyKane suggested.

Not only would their presence in your home be difficult for your wife and neighbors, it will also be bad for you and ultimately not the best choice for your parents. This could go on for another 20 years. Is this what you want to devote the prime of your life to?

Please read posts and articles on this site (and elsewhere) about narcissistic personality disorder and the challenges of living with someone -- caregiving someone -- with this disorder. I don't know if that is exactly what your father has, but many of the coping strategies seem applicable in this situation.

You may find it easier to relate to them if you visit them as a son, instead of sharing space with them as a landlord/caregiver. I think you have a better chance of coming to some resolution to your relationships that way. I am certainly not saying don't have anything further to do with them. Help them, advocate for them, love them, visit them. Just don't live with them!!
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I agree with Candy. Get someone to help you navigate these waters. You have so many different issues going on here. They are co-related but not the same. The big buckets I see are what to do with parents who are going to need increasing help, since one is already physically debilitated; what to do with emotions stemming from a difficult-bordering-on-mean Dad; what to do with regrets that things weren't different; how to set you and your wife up for a happy retirement in a home you love, what top do with tenants (not parents, but tenants) of a home destroyed by a hurricane; how to handle parents who are unable to set limits of any kind for themselves (from stuff to temper, they are boundary-less at worst and boundary-moving at best), how to deal with siblings who have let you and your wife take more responsibility for your parents than they were willing or able to provide.
See what you can do to take one of these issues and follow it to the conclusion that best suits YOU AND YOUR WIFE. From what I read, that sure sounds like the parents do not move into the new home; they stay where they are now. This accomplishes a lot: they aren't under your roof; if you and your wife retire and they are still living, you don't have to kick them out to retire in the home you earned and built; if they continue to hoard, you aren't worried about safety issues; on a budget, a bigger house is harder to keep up with.
Find the starting point, if it doesn't begin with what to do with the house, and go down the line to solve each separate issue (and there are probably more than I've identified). Breaking it up into pieces is not only the way to find solutions, but the way to make things feel and BE more manageable.

GOOD LUCK!
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I think you need to find a social worker or elder care advocate to help you. Get a referral from your church or local health department. You need to find our what's available from the county or state for your parents. Then write everything down that you want to say on index cards (so you won't forget anything) and make a formal presentation to your parents.
Tell them it's not negotiable, and be prepared for major pushback from your father. Just keep repeating that your plan is not negotiable. Let all your Dad's comments slide off your back. Stay on track w/ your plan, knowing that you've done everything you can, that everyone has limitations, and that, in the end, life doesn't OWE your Father anything. Best of luck.
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