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I'll go with you..Im caring for my 90 yo mother with dementia & she recently punched my head, threw mouth wash in my eyes & threw plastic bottle at me..Im ready to put her back in nursing home...I have her home 6 months from nursing home...
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Hi, first of all..breathe....
1. take yourself a very needed break...and when you return set some boundaries.
2. Meals - Council on aging can provide your parents with meals.  As far as the rest, let everyone fend for themselves...go on a strike and I bet you will see a different attitude.  Peanut Butter and Jelly works wonders for kids. Mac and Cheese! 
3.  Get you mom some professional help...there is all types of medicine for bipolar.
4. Find yourself a good handy man and let him take care of the yard......
5. Maybe it's you that needs the saving.....start your own life and let them find their own way.
6.  Have you check in to getting your parents on home health through their doctors and you can get some assistance for them...social worker for your mom with all her issues, and you dad as well.
7.  As far as the arguments your mom tries to start...walk out the room...do not say anything...it will only end up in a shouting match and nothing gets resolved..your mom has an illness...get it checked.
8.  Get yourself some good self help books and read...and practice and read some more..but most of all take care of yourself....you are the number one person in your life!  Joint a support group! Express your thoughts, and feelings, write in a journal everyday...because it will help..what seems like a big deal today is trivial to what comes next.
9.  If nothing works for you...move on with your life!  Be the best you can be for you!

Be patient, be kind and forgive...forgiveness is for you!  It brings peace to yourself ... We only have one life...make it the best one you can!
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I don't know if you'll be back to read this or not and I am sorry you aren't getting the support and love you need and hoped to find. I can only tell you what I know for a fact and that is what I have done myself. As of November 1st I have been caring for both of my parents alone with no help for 7 years. They are currently 91 and 95. Both with multiple health issues, everything from severe dementia , CHF , diabetes , Macular degeneration, both totally incontinent , one bed ridden and full care ( hoyer lift ) I know this from what you've mentioned, these issues are indeed progressive. I don't have children in the home, but have two sons living in different states and grandchildren that I rarely see unless they fly here ( schedules make this hard ) one grandson who will be 1 Nov. 1st whom I have never held. This for me is the hardest part, well emotionally speaking. Memories and special occasions, time I'll never get back. Here's the thing, I also love my parents. They have been married 68 yrs and are in their own home together because of the care I provide them. Is it easy, no. Is it worth it, I believe for me it is. Many tears, lots of heart ache but at the end of the day, I have to say I would do it again. Did I think this journey would be taking me into my 7th year, no. I came because my Dad called me and made it sound like my mother was near death ( he believed this ) some days I think they are doing far better than I am, because most caregivers don't have the time or energy to care for themselves. To your question about staying motivated....well I think it varies for everyone depending on their circumstances. For me, I cried out to the Lord. I opened my bible and actually read it cover to cover. I realized I couldn't get out to attend church, so I emailed ( repeatedly ) my local Calvary christian church and was able to open my home 2 hours a week to have a women's bible study and to get the fellowship I was so very hungry for with like minded women. I am not by any means trying to preach or even sell you on religion as that is a very personal decision between you and God. I will say this, God is sufficient. I can honestly say it is only through his grace, mercy and sufficiency I have come this far, not in my own strength. There are no black and white answers to what will motivate you to get from one day to the next my friend, I so wish there was. I guess knowing that the situation will likely get more difficult the best advice I have is to be painfully honest with yourself and your capabilities going forward. The more time that passes, the harder I think it is to make change. It is exhausting emotionally , physically and spiritually. I have done this so long I don't even remember what it feels like not to live by the clock or have a day off. You have children friend, and none of us can be our best when our cup is empty. I wish I could give you a hug ( I know how often I wish someone would hug me and tell me everything's going to be alright ) but just know I will be praying for you. Please know that regardless of what you decide or how you choose to go forward feel good about yourself, you tried! This is so much more than so many do. If you choose to continue, may God bless you and give you everything you need so that your cup is never empty for your parents, your children or You xo
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