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This makes me glad my mother doesn't want to use a cell phone or computer. In fact, I can't get her to take my cell phone number seriously. She tells me that she doesn't need it. Of course, I know that it is actually the only number she needs if I'm not at home and something happens.
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There are days..............mom just dumped my brand new (new variety, pricy splurge for myself) bottle of salad dressing down the sink. No reason. These small things add up..............Things disappear. I find silverware in the garbage. My kitchen sink is suddenly stopped up. Tiny folded bits of toilet paper all over the house. Sticky everything. Water left running in bathroom. Yesterday I found her eating a canister of parmesan cheese with a spoon. Nothing is frig is clean or "safe."
All little things............................
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Jessebelle....what you said was funny and so true....u made me laugh with a few tears in my eyes
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Shira42, With a husband with dementia and Parkinsons, you still get COMPANY?
We got very little company as time went on, once I got rid of the scam artists and door-to-door salesmen, the friends and relatives just evaporated. And if anyone DID drop in, I considered it a fortunate day when there wasn't a big stinking trash can full of used Depends sitting in the kitchen waiting to go out.
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I got 'packages' to take home, with a long explanatory note attached. Painstakingly wrapped in the middle of the night, layer upon layer upon layer upon layer of newspaper, tissue paper, plastic grocery bags, all wrapping up a mini-bottle of shampoo, or pair of nylon knee highs.... awww....well, it kept mom busy, anyway, godblessher.
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Maria, does ur Mom have Dementia? If so, call ur Office of the aging and Medicaid to see if she qualifies for assistance. Personally, I would nevergive a parent my work number that u know would abuse it. Employers can be only so sympathetic. My husband and my children knew it better be something important to call me at work. You need to try and exxplain that her constant harrassment will lose you your job. That her constantly being at u is causing health problems. You love her but ur an adult holding downa job. You r entitled to time to yourself. Medicaid, if she qualifies, will pay for Adult Daycare. The daycare here transport, gives lunch and dinner, and shower.
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I've been taking the plastic the newspapers come in and use them for diapers. Long enough to put a folded up diaper in, tie off, another diaper tie off. Cuts down on smells. It made me think of a diaper genie. Think I would go this way if Mom starts using a number of diapers a day.
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JoAnn, that's an ingenious idea! You're right, it's like a Diaper Genie. You know, I think they do make those for adult diapers, but you've already got a system - why pay more?

Jessie - I think we should all be glad that our LO's don't use the computer or cell phone (some still might!). My mom wouldn't know the first thing to do with either one. I've contemplated getting her a tablet so she could read ebooks in the NH, but my concern is that, 1) it would get dropped and broken, or 2) she simply wouldn't understand how to use it, no matter how simple it was.
There's a man in the NH that sits in the hall in his wheelchair all the time, or in the lobby (his choice, he's not just dumped there), and he has a tablet in his lap at all times, playing country music.
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If you ever decide to go that route, Susan, I hear the Kindles are fairly simple. There's a lot of free books for Kindle, which makes them even nicer. My SIL loves her Kindle. I'm not much of a reader myself. I prefer the old paper books when I do read. It seems more relaxed to me. I already stare at a computer screen all the time, so the paper is a nice break.
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Hi Joann, What you said is my true sentiment...i love her but..... She calls me on my cell, but at work its frustrating, makes me angry and/or sad when she is demanding something or in pain...i want to care for her, but i have to work so my heart and my mind are in two different places. Im supprised people at work dont think im a mess, but i pull it off. Ive thought maybe she has early signs of dementia, but she is fairly sharp, maybe shes lonely, maybe her body is slowing down while her mind is still ready to go. She has not slept well for years becacse her mouth is hot at night and its painful. She has bms...funny enough she complained about her burning mouth around 60 years old, had cancer...had treatment and stopped complaining...she was recently treated for cancer again at 78 and her claims it had eased up sufficiently...anyways ive told her i wont answer her calls at work...i have to work on not listening to her messages when im at work also..thanks for you advice.
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Thanks, Jessie - I keep a tablet at my bedside - it's my alarm clock and I use it to read ebooks. I was one of those "no ebooks for me!" people when they first came out, but then I discovered that I could get FREE ebooks.....I now have a library of over 2,000 ebooks on my tablet - most of them were free.
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If you all want to laugh i work in a senior environment for the last 14 years...sometimes i would refer caregivers to to caregiving counseling....i had no idea what they were going through till now... ive been caregiving for quite a while but im realzing now it might not get better and im feeling the effects.... on a funny and hopeful note i read black strap molasess gets rid of grey hair..one teaspoon a day...just bought some...so its worth a try... these little things keep me rolling with the punches...
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Maria, my mom got to the extent of calling me every time she wanted to change the t.v. channel. I was working full time. The agony on her face of having to be on her own when I was just about to go got the best of me, discussed with hubby and job allowed me to do part time job.
Still, 2yrs later it was worse, did the math, and equally in $$$ if I worked and hired home care, or not.
So....I quit my job. We're managing funds, we just don't eat out.
So... mom didn't get the concept that I am here now and not going to work for about a year. Meanwhile, asking if I am late for work, or sick, or ???
Then, she caught on, and won't let me go anywhere.
Right, you can say, I am back to beign 5 yrs.old.
I'm sandwiched between a husband and a mom. Glad there are no children. It would be a problem.
Anyway Maria, it kills us to say "no" to mami, but we're going to have to.
Anyone who wants to blog in Spanish, I am game. Not sure if there's any rules in place, or who to contact/moderator?
Keep up the good work everyone!
M88
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My mother has been so crazy these last few days that I don't know what I'm going to do. Someone with vascular dementia is different than someone with Alz. My mother does not accept that anything is wrong with her. Anything that she can't find or doesn't work must be my fault. My whole purpose of life on earth is to cater to her. She is going back and forth between a child and an angry woman. An example -- this afternoon she washed her own sheets. She couldn't find her sheets, so I got them for her. Then she asked about pillow cases. She saw the ones on my bed and got really mad that I had taken her pillow cases. I told her they were mine -- I had bought my linens myself. She said no they weren't. They were hers. She was so angry and I'm thinking WTF they're just pillow cases. She slammed her bedroom door. I went in to point out her pillow cases, but she insisted those weren't the right ones. The right ones were on my bed. I told her she was welcomed to them, but I would have to buy more. And while she was at it, she might as well make my computer and clothes hers, too.

So she finds her pillow cases and retreats into her little girl act. She is so sorry. It reminds me of an old movie where an old woman plays like a little girl. Is it a Bette Davis movie.

Well, things blew up again at dinner. If I say anything to her, she'll say I'm fussing at her and Daddy never fussed at her. No one ever fussed at her. She treats me like I'm such a bad person. This dementia thing makes us so helpless. We are told not to react, but it is like being beat without being able to defend yourself. It feels absolutely evil at times.
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Mom and I were watching the same shows together until about a month ago. I said to myself: I can and will change this insanity. No, mom doesn't want a TV in her own bedroom since she's terrified of being alone
Even though I don't own a big house, and her room is about 12 feet away from the living room............I'm not veering off topic I hope....ah, ok, so I picked shows that are light, fun, easy to follow.
No more complicated wno is this, why did he say that, where are they........interruptions about 29,000 times per show
Aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Now, show starts and I walk off
My bedroom is my decompression room
I just need a little fridge and a microwave and I will be set. Haha! Uuuggghhh, I also think, what was it like when I was a child and mom cared for me??? I have never been told or even hinted by mom thst I was a nuisance.
Guilt trip.....When is the next bus?...
M88.
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