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Just offer what you have - no such thing as cravings medically unless some deficiency. This is purely self , unfortunately a result of dementia, she doesn't understand timings so you have to fit her bodily requirements to your life. If she doesn't want to eat I wouldn't make her, just give her a small (amount as she eats) of whatever you have when you have it, if she doesn't want it she can have it later. If she hasn't eaten at all during the day and you are going to bed then make her a sandwich of something she likes that doesn't have to be eaten instantly and leave the covered plate with her. The fact the "cravings" change so often is simply that she doesn't remember, they are a way of getting your attention, leave it a few hours and she would forget she had asked. Yes I sound like a hard bitch, but this cannot dominate your lives and is making you ill so think about yourself and accept she doesn't know what she is doing. You wouldn't let a child behave like this so don't let an adult with the terrible illness. Its hard to be logical when its a parent one cares about but we have to accept they are not the parent we knew, and care is necessary, waiting on hand foot and finger is not.
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Isthisrealyreal May 2019
TaylorUK, you don't sound hard at all. Boundaries are the key to surviving this awful disease and that is what you are pointing her too.
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Serve it up, no options. I'm not a short order cook. Supper is what I cook and when I serve it. If it's not what Mother wants, there is always cold cereal or pb&j. Luckily, she hasn't refused what I cook or when I serve it. She doesn't always eat it all, but at least she takes a "no thank you" bite if she's not interested.
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gdaughter May 2019
Really very much like when we were kids, if we didn't like what SHE made!
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I understand defending your kitchen, but I vote for using locks to defend the kitchen and offering Mom the same dinner everyone else in the household has. Did your mother cook separate meals for you as a child? Is the MC going to cook a different dinner at 8:00pm? Why isn't Mom joining the family for dinner?

I recommend getting a dome that covers a plate and make your mother a plate at dinner time. If she doesn't eat it place the covered plate in the fridge and if she wants to eat at 8:00pm then reheat the dinner plate. Or let her eat snacks. I keep fruit and a container of animal crackers on a table in my mother's bedroom.
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I usually ask what they want for lunch, and for breakfast it's easy, because they only eat one of two things. I told them I was not running a fast food restaurant. At dinner, they get what I fix. Usually eat most of it, but now and then, half of the plate is untouched - which means at 8 they will be eating sugary snacks most likely. It's something I don't have any control over. My mother will fix a bowl of cereal sometimes at night ( it may or may not have milk, or something else like orange juice - yuk) My mother likes soup also, and I do give them leftovers if it was something they like. If your mother has some type of snack or maybe even those microwave soups, they might help. Any way that you can lock the kitchen door, or take the knobs off the stove? Lock the microwave and oven. I am planning to get refrigerator lock because tired of having expensive food left out to thaw.
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If it's not possible for you to install a door with a lock in your kitchen doorway, consider going to a home store and purchasing locks for your pantry and anything else that has food, including the refrigerator. It’s drastic, but it’s better than Mom starting a fire. There are also tamper proof locks for stove dials. You can, if you want, leave a sleeve of crackers and a jar of peanut butter out on the counter.

When your dinner is ready, if she declines food, make her a plate of what YOU are eating and leave it in her room. Assure her that this is it. She eats or goes hungry. The chef has retired for the evening and the kitchen is truly “locked up”. Make sure she has some snack crackers or something in her room, but she will not waste away before breakfast.

You would not, or should not, be preparing a menu of options for meals for anyone, her, your children, your husband or even the dog/cat. I have to think that there is a part of her that is enjoying having her own personal Door Dash.
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gdaughter May 2019
The only thing I worry about with all the suggestions to leave a plate of food out, is that some food items after a couple hours will be in the danger zone for food borne bacteria and god forbid some elder ingests that and gets sick and then there is more to worry and clean up!
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I never gave Mom an option. She got what I cooked. She liked homemade soup so I would pick that up at the diner for her for lunch. Breakfast was cereal or what I made. If I had leftovers, like sausage gravy, I gave her that for lunch or breakfast.

I guess ur problem is ur afraid she would get food on her own. I was able to gate Mom into her room. She was too far gone to figure how to get out. Try not asking her if there was anything she needed. Just say good night.

This is what I didn't like about CG. The constant worry about Mom doing something when I was sleeping. When she went into the AL, it was the first night in 20 months that I had a good nights sleep. Having her was like having an infant again.
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gdaughter May 2019
As I've mentioned, my pup is a bit reactive and protective...so the good news is living with the elders, that should ANYone get up...for ANY reason beyond using the bathroom off their bedroom LOL, dare they walk into the hallway...my pup will bark and alert me!
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