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He can be a greeter at Walmart if one if=s around, or work in the library or at a restaurant.
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When you got divorced, you realized love wasn't enough. You needed more. Now, you realize something similar with the intrusion of your father & you allowing him to move in & disrupt your entire life: I love ya dad, but ya ruining my LIFE. It's not about love; it's about boundaries and being an adult and wanting your own space, your own privacy and your own relationship with a new man w/o your father making rude remarks to him in his own home.

And you now see that keeping dad with you in your home will only ruin your relationship forever. That's exactly what happened between my mother & her mother after she moved her in due to 'old world family obligations' and all that horse manure. They were like oil & water, the two of them, and fought like animals. They ruined what little relationship they once had, and they also ruined MY childhood by fighting all the time. IDK about your daughter, but she's entitled to a good childhood here too! Children pick right up on 'toxic' relationships and it's not a good environment for them, either.

You DO NOT sound 'juvenile' whatsoever in your post, either, by the way. You sound exhausted, and rightly so!

Time for dad to move into a senior housing complex where he can make rude remarks to all the other seniors to his heart's content. You'll go visit him once a week, or whatever, and you'll have dinner together. You'll take your life back & dad will develop a new life of his very own, where he gets to socialize and do things his way, in his own space, with his own friends or lack thereof, based on his own behavior. That's what adults do. They don't move in with their adult children so they can ruin their lives when they get old.

Make it happen. And remind him; it's not that you don't love him; it's about your need to live your OWN life in your OWN home. And you're not wrong for wanting to do so or expecting to do so. "Old world thinking" is now dead and gone.

Best of luck!
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SeekingAdvic Aug 2021
thanks, I appreciate you. :-)
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Why is dad living with you? Why did dad move in with the other family member. Was it just because he did not want to be alone?
Not many people WANT to be alone. But most people find other outlets. By moving in with family members he is using a crutch.
Sit down with dad, have a heart to heart tough love talk.
Give him a date that you want him to move out by.
Go with him to look at Independent Living or Assisted Living facilities or Senior housing if he does not like the idea of a facility. ( he will probably be more apt to find a facility a better place to meet people)
If you truly want him to remain with you I hope that you have a heart to heart talk with your fiancé. Is this acceptable to him? If so what is the possibility in moving into a place that is larger? One where dad can have his own space. I actually mean where you will be able to shut him out when you and your SO want space and privacy. (In law suite would be ideal).
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You are correct when you say that you've worked too hard to get to a place of peace, to now allow your dad to disrupt it. It's not fair to you, your child or your fiancé. Shame on your dad for thinking that what he is doing by continuing to live in your home is ok. He needs to go and get a life of his own.(away from you) And the sooner the better. You're going to have to put your big girl panties on and remind him that his stay was intended to only be a few months and those "few months" are now over, and that it's now time for him to get on with his life(out of your house) and you with yours.
This doesn't mean that you don't love your dad, but because you do, you want what's best for him and for you, and living together just isn't cutting it.
So give him a months notice(and mean it), and if need be, start looking for either some senior apartments for him, or an independent living facility for him to move to. That way since he's so social, he can be around other people his own age, and make some new friends. I think given the chance he would really enjoy that type of environment. Be strong, and don't take no for an answer.
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