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My mother has moderate to severe ALZ and she was in a MC for 4 years but I had to move her to another MC because they raised rates 3 times in 12 months. We just moved her and the assistant director just told me they lock the residents out of their rooms from 9 am to 7 pm so that staff can monitor them more and so that they socialize and don’t isolate.



i was not told this during the tour or during our visits. Last MC there were no locks on doors and my mother did become pretty antisocial, choosing to stay in her room and mostly looking out her window or listening to music. Bit I also know that the staff there didn’t try to get her to participate and just left her in her room.



So I am not sure how I feel about this new MC. Has anyone had a similar experience with this issue of letting my mother isolate if she chooses versus pushing her to socialize?

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Not all dementia patients need group socialization. I haven’t liked groups my whole life and would hate to be forced into this situation.
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My mom would have preferred to isolate, too, but she was brought into the common room every day and stayed there while choosing to participate or not. She mostly didn't, because she was nearly blind and pretty deaf, so it wasn't of much interest to her anyway. As she was wheelchair bound, she couldn't go back to her room on her own anyway.

I'd have more of an issue with that if my LO was mobile and still cognizant enough to make decisions about going in and out of their room. My mother's place had people of all levels, and the high-functioning ones were allowed to come and go to their rooms where they might take a nap or watch TV a bit. Every caregiver had four or five people to keep an eye on, so if one of them went off to their room for more than a half-hour or so, the caregiver would usually get them back out in the common room.

Socialization is important for dementia patients. I often wonder how my mother's dementia would have progressed had she not spent her first four years isolating herself at home with just my dad for company. She slept 18 hours a day, waking up only for meals and to watch a little TV in the evenings. At her MC, she didn't even take naps until the last year of her life. It was definitely better for her.
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Why would they lock patients out of their rooms, and for such a long time? That doesn't make sense at all. Sounds like an inability to manage their residents. I'd get in touch with your state ombudsman and file n anonymous complaint.
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That is nuts, and cruel - and probably against the law. You will need to research your own state's laws.

In Florida, residents of an assisted living facility (of which memory care is a subset) have a bill of rights. Click on the link below to see them. I think you will find that they support a resident's individual preferences. In addition, a resident's room is THEIR HOME, for which they pay rent - and to lock them out for the benefit/ease of the staff is likely illegal as well.

http://www.leg.state.fl.us/statutes/index.cfm?App_mode=Display_Statute&Search_String=&URL=0400-0499/0429/Sections/0429.28.html

I would talk with an elder law attorney immediately, and file a complaint with the state's agency that oversees assisted living facilities.

I suspect many statutes are being violated.
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ElizabethAR37 Sep 2023
Excellent points. Unfortunately, facilities can't conjure up staff where none exists, and in the end, I think that's a primary issue behind neglect/abuse in LTC facilities. Although staffing issues are not new, private equity companies are buying up LTCs, and their dominant interest is ROI (return on investment). For people in my age range who may need such a facility, that is definitely NOT good news.

Although I might pursue filing a complaint, I wouldn't anticipate positive change under Florida's current administration regardless of what's on paper. The well-being of ordinary citizens doesn't seem to be high on the agenda.
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The timing - 9am to 7pm - sounds a bit long. Many elders like an afternoon nap. However apart from that, it depends a bit on the layout of the common space, and what happens there. If there are quiet places to sit, perhaps with recliner chairs, that’s not the same as being forced into community singing for 10 hours a day!
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I don’t know about locking them out but the excellent MC my Mom was in made a point of getting the residents out of their rooms and into a community area. They discouraged TVs in the rooms because they didn’t want the residents to sit and veg all day.

Mom’s facility had seven daily activities to keep them engaged as well as a large TV showing movie and sports. The theory was to keep them interacting, not sitting and sleeping all day which is what Mom had been doing.

MC usually has a wide age range, not just elderly, residents no are fairly mobile and active. Keeping them in a general area makes it easier for the staff to keep track of them.

Maybe locking the doors helps keep wandering residents out too. I made a point of making sure Mom didn’t have anything valuable in her room in case another resident mistakenly took something.
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anonymous1732518 Sep 2023
They discouraged tvs in the room but had a large TV showing movies and sports?
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Me, I don't like it. My Mom was in the Common area most of the day but that is because she did not like to be alone. She had the freedom to walk the halls and sit down on chairs and couches along the hall. And go out to the court area.

IMO Mom is paying big bucks to live there and this is restaining her. D**ned if I would want to be out in the Common area for 10 hrs. I like my peace and quiet.
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There are pros and cons to this arrangement. The pros are that mom cannot isolate herself away in her room and become depressed, advancing her dementia faster than normal. It's proven that isolation worsens dementia and you aren't paying tons of money for her to be holed up in her room like a hermit.

The cons are that she is forced out of her room by 9 am. What if she's not feeling well and/or wants to sleep in? Or is sick .....MUST she socialize in the activity room then? Or if she wants to use her own bathroom instead of the public one.

It's actually easier for staff to let residents stay in their rooms all day, in reality, than it is to keep them in the activity room socializing together and being escorted to the bathroom constantly. The staff at your mom's MC has the welfare of residents in mind by making this rule which allows them evening time only to watch tv and have alone time.

Speak to the Executive Director if you have issues with their rules, but don't expect them to change. My mom's MC was pretty insistent about residents coming out of their rooms every day for long periods of time, but it wasn't a rule. They were not allowed to take meals in their rooms, however, unless they were sick or on hospice. That rule was unbreakable.
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I don't like that at all. One memory care facility I visited had really tiny rooms for the residents, just enough space for a small bed and small dresser, no chair, tv, or other personal furniture. I commented on that and they said they would want my mom out of her room socializing. They didn't say they'd lock her out, but still, knowing my mom as I did, she would want some alone time to nap, read, or look out the window. I can sort of imagine the confusion of these people to be locked out of their rooms, even if they don't always know where their rooms are. An entire day of socializing would have made my mom very tired and upset.
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Isolating isn’t all that bad for some. Have you ever been with a dementia patient who keeps repeating the same things over and over day after day? Who wants to listen to that? At least a TV comes with remote on off and you can change the channel. I’d prefer that any day.
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elisny Sep 2023
I completely agree. Locking people out of their rooms is tantamount to torture and abuse.
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Agree with AlvaDeer, but yikes! Sounds like a worst-nightmare scenario to a quintessential introvert like me. If I still recognized what was going on around me, I'd be really upset at being locked out of my room all day--to say nothing of being "forced" to socialize. On the other hand, it may not make much difference if the residents are totally out of touch, and having everyone congregated outside their rooms probably makes it easier for the staff (which is likely in short supply these days) to monitor. Honestly, I hope to shuffle off this mortal coil before I'm in that situation.
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elisny Sep 2023
Residents may "seem" out of touch or be labeled as such and that is a crime in and of itself. People with dementia still have souls and are still sensitive.
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Easier for staff especially if they are parked in front of the tv. Residents can watch oldies programs like Gunsmoke, Matlock etc
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JoAnn29 Sep 2023
I do have to agree with you there.
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Well, I think that is too long, I can see it for a social time, maybe 2 hours, but beyond that it would be a no go for me.

My step-mother is in MC, she is out for her room hours during the day as she likes to go in the general meeting room and color, she is not very social but does get out of her room.

I would talk to the admin and confirm this and make your decision from there.
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You may want to wait and see how this works for your Mom, since allowing her to isolate in her room didn't work well. I would try to monitor as closely as you can. Have talked with admin and become their best friend.
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Wow. I'd check into that. It doesn't sound legal or logical. And do they really have that many staff to have that kind of interactive support? So what if they isolate? The staff can visit with them where they're isolating. This is an insanely difficult disease, and one approach does not fit everyone.
Unfortunatly, sounds like you'll have to start looking elsewhere for memory care for your mother if this is not a good fit for her.
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mdasse773 Sep 2023
I should add that mom can be combative with staff especially when showering and then just at random times. The former MC would walk away from her when she was combative and leave her alone. I get the feeling the new place wants to try to coax her out of a bad mood with social interaction. Knowing my mother, my instinct is to tell them to leave her alone. But lealonnie1 and alvadeer made some good points so maybe i will monitor closely and see what happens for a week?
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