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Chessqueen1977

I am sorry for the loss of your dear mom.

It is sad that dad is having such a hard time starting his life over without his wife.

Since he needs to leave your home and doesn’t want to go to his own home you could call your local Area Agency on Aging and ask them to come visit dad for an assessment of needs. I would also get him to a neurologist for testing. Often couples cover for one another. Dad may have deficits you haven’t noticed due to moms presence. I am assuming here that dad is in his 70s? As long as you are seeing him in familiar surroundings it is sometimes difficult to pick up on the decline.

Alternately, I wonder if you went with your dad to his home and spent a few days if it would help? Perhaps work on packing away mom’s personal items if that hasn’t been done.

Maybe you could make dinner at his home, have your family come there for dinner and then they would go home. You might ask brother over as well and then brother would spend the night and you could go home with your family.

You could try this for a few days to help him transition. He might need to hire domestic help, order meals on wheels or down size to an apartment or Independent living facility where he could transition as his needs increase.

You could also just remove the bed he is sleeping on and tell him to go home. Or as the song goes, “you don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here”.

If there is a senior center near by, he might find it a comfortable hang out for lunch.

Hopefully you will get your home back soon.
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Stop trying to have a conversation and tell him it's time to go home.

I would tell him you have every right to ask him to leave, it's YOUR house.

Time to get use to your new normal dad and that isn't staying at my home and inserting yourself daily.

It's hard but, it is necessary for him to learn how to be with himself. If he can't be alone then an assisted living is the next option.

I would tell my brother to just show up at dad's and stop asking. Your dad needs guidance and not questions that put him in control of the situation.

I am sorry for the loss of your mom and pray that you all find your way forward.
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