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So common place, set your boundaries, keep them in effect, No means No. Don't jump to her every whim, no reason to go there everyday, make a plan, once a week you will drop off "What she wants".

IMO, that generation is the most selfish, impatient generation of all times, it is all about them.

Only you can change this, start setting your boundaries today and remember NO is a complete sentence. The more you condescend to them, they more they will take advantage of you...not my rules, just how it works!
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mally1 Jan 2020
You absolutely have it, DollyMe! Eight months ago my husband insisted I stop doing all my mom's shopping (all from different stores, of course), and only see her once a week - twice if there's a real emergency. Boy, has that helped - I have my life back!
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Take the hardest step, for your own good. Stop thinking of them as being capable of being part of a mutually nurturing and contributing relationship with you, and allow yourself to become their loving and supportive caregiver, with no expectations of anything coming back from them.

When you can do that, you can also become YOUR best friend and advocate without expecting anything from Queen Sister and her consort.

Whether or not they’re actually too disabled to consider your feelings or not, they will eventually be, and allowing yourself to practice SELF ACKNOWLEDGEMENT will hopefully soon become second nature to you.

YOU are doing what needs to be done, and that is a sincere and generous gesture. Now do the same, in ways personal to you, for yourself.
You deserve to be proud of your work, and treat yourself accordingly.
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DILKimba Jan 2020
Excellent advice! I have told myself, "I'm not doing this for them to acknowledge. I'm doing this to be a good helper to my husband and ease his burden, and to honor him, them, and God. I don't need their affirmations to do the right thing.
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Sorry I had to laugh as I recalled having to buy my own presents for dad to “give” me - sometimes he’d open it thinking it was his - just after I’d reminded him he had a gift with my name in his hands - other times I had to ask and more than once I went off to sort something out to find he’d given the gift to someone else!

With their ailments they aren’t likely to remember the niceties of saying or writing thanks - and yeah I get the President part - been there too. Sister wasn’t working - I was.

Can only suggest you have a schedule and stick to it - bar any emergencies. Literally work time / your time (out) and their time. Pin visit times up so they know when to expect you.

You’ve done the worse bit getting them and their possessions there. Now start as you feel able to continue - with set times and duration of visits.

Congrats on continuing to be the top top sales person despite all the stress!
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I can relate. I do a lot, but my dad wants more. That happens when elderly are depressed. They dwell on it.
The move is a good step. May your parents adjust well.
Take time for yourself to recharge. And set some boundaries.
Pick a day or two to bring her things. Limit visits so you have time for yourself

All the best
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