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For the love of all that is holy… do not move him out of there and do not take him in. You think it’s bad now? Haha. The situation will be 10x worse if he lives alone and 20x worse if he lives with you.
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Don’t encourage him to move out of his assisted living facility! He has only been there for three months. He needs time to adjust to his surroundings.

Don’t offer your services on the weekends if he does move out. You will regret it.

He is 88. He’s going to require more care as time goes on.

Have you considered having his cognitive abilities checked for his current condition? That’s where I would start. Then you will have more accurate information for each of you to process.

Even if he refuses to believe that his mental capacity is impaired, you will know the truth.

You are not responsible for his care. It will cost him more money in the long run if he hires private caregivers. You deserve to have a life of your own.

I understand that you want him to be well cared for. Continue to be his advocate instead of being more involved with the hands on caregiving.

What do you feel about the care that he is receiving? Does it seem appropriate to you? What doesn’t he find satisfactory with his care?

Facilities see people like your dad on a regular basis. Ask them if there is anything that you or they can do to help him adjust.

Wishing you and your father all the best.
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Dear God, NO, leave him where he is, 3 months is nothing more than the break-in period.

They all want to go home, wherever they think it is.

Get him tested, use that as a response, "When the doctor says in writing that you can go home, we will consider it, until then you will stay where you are at"

Dementia is a progressive disease, he will get worse, and eventually and end up in memory care, that is if he lives long enough.

What you are experiencing is quite normal with a stubborn, spoiled elder who does not consider anyone but themselves. He will continue to act the way even if you move him to a home, he will not suddenly get nice, doesn't work that way.

Don't cave to his demands, you will regret your decision. Read around here there are more than enough posts to help you understand what you will be getting yourself into.

Sending support your way.
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lealonnie1 Dec 4, 2023
Amen amen and amen
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