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Which brings me to my question. Not trying to hijack this thread, but....Pamstegma, you said putting mom's $ in your own name violates POA laws. I carefully read the terms of my POA documents, and I have consulted with an attorney on the things I've done, like sell mom's furniture on her behalf when I gave up her apt. I was never made aware of any "POA laws." Can you point me to a statute?

I opened a separate account in my name where I deposited mom's money and I used it SOLELY for her benefit. I don't have any receipts except what I might have done on my credit card. I withdraw her monthly allowance from the nursing home and I deposit it in an investment account (separate from my funds) which will be used for her final expenses. I paid for her plot myself, I spend over $500 a month of my own $ for her to have a private aide, I buy all her replacement clothes myself (I am not stealing her money), but I take her trust money from the NH and put it in an acct in my own name. If it came to it, I could prove that I spent many times her trust money on things for her, but to make things easier, I have "her" money in my name, since I'm the person accessing it.

Comments?
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Come to think of it, this might be a question worthy of its own thread, but I would still appreciate your comments here. Thank you.
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John Roberts, excellent answer! It would be helpful if you could list a few examples of "noncountable" assets for kittycat (and the rest of us :)!
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Christine73, Look up "elder financial abuse" on any legal website of your choice.
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I never once said that and if I did I should rephrase that !!
I don't need or want my moms money it's not worth getting into trouble with Medicaid or SS
My mom has worked her butt off and only deserves the BEST whatever time she has left ! I'm only protecting mom and myself !
I don't need mothers money period
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I have to clarify on my comment! My mother offered to help me with something and for one I told her NO she can't afford it and two it would be considered a gift !
I can financially take care of myself !
This site is needed for those that are new to taking care of our loved ones etc !! It's not a place to POINT THE FINGER !
I'm the only one here I have nobody helping me thru any of this !
So thank you for your help but I don't need to be JUDGED !
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Are you POA over her finances or health care decisions? If financial then yes you can do that on her behalf.
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I am a Power of Attorney, have been to three people since l970. I strongly advise you first and foremost if you are new at this job, find a highly recommended experienced elder care attorney who can advise you properly on the laws in your state with regard to POA powers and financial matters. And do this especially if Medicaid is going to be used. There is a look back period for Medicaid and I think it may now be five years. Be very, very careful of what you do and do this only on highly experienced professional advice or you may be held liable or have bigger problems to face. And most important, from day one, log every expense, every incident, keep extremely detailed records of what you do and spend. It is better to take the time and protect yourself if push comes to shove than suddenly find yourself in a situation where you have no records - God help you then. I know. I kept immaculate records from day one and as a result never, ever had a problem. And I learned how to handle every situation that came up. I am also a Government Payee which is the same as a POA but the Government calls it a Government Payee. Don't be frightened - it is not difficult once you start doing it and it will bring you peace of mind for the future.
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Christine73: You should never use your own money for your mother's care!
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I am sole caretaker for my mom and she lives in my home. She has her own checking and savings account. Her SS check is direct deposited to har savings. Her supplimental health insurance is automatically taken from her checking account monthly and her prescription drug insurance is automatically taken from her SS check. She lives with me so she has no bills other than the phone/cable TV/internet which is in her name. Since I pay for all other bils she buys the groceries and pays for my meal if we go out to eat. I move money from her savings to checking as needed. When she came to live with me we went to an Elder Care Attorney and set up a trust account with the money she received from the sale of her home (plus the interest it had earned since then) and closed out a small CD she had and put that in the trust. We were told that after 5 years if she had to go into a nursing home Medicaid would not count the trust as her asset, however, her checking and savings would count as her asset even though my name is on those accounts too. This is fine with me, it's her money and should be used to pay for her care. My only reason for the trust account is to pay for the extras that she would not get if in a nursing home being paid by Medicaid.
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Llamalover, that's my choice and it's not a problem. Pamstegma, I did the search you recommended, learned a little about elder financial abuse, but what I'm really interested in are the "POA laws" you reference. I've never of such a thing and would like to read the statute or statutes. Thanks!
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And the original poster is right. No one needs to come on here and feel attacked. People are responding in a way they would never speak to a stranger face to face. 

Llamalover, I appreciate the point you're trying to make but I felt scolded by your response, particularly with the exclamation point. I'm sure that means I took it the wrong way, and I *did ask for comments.

I will second what the OP said. She's obviously suffering and not looking to steal her mom's 50 bucks a month.

In my case, (since it came up) my mom can't afford the cost of an aide. I can and I want her to have one, so I pay. Yes, my life would be easier if I kept that money, but I think of it like the parent who pays for their kid to go to camp or have music lessons. It makes my mom happy, and her being happy makes me happy. I'm also helping a nursing student get through school and have a valuable experience, so I'll eat the cost for now. It won't be forever...
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Christine: I am sorry. However, I have been by many financial professionals to not use your own money for your parents' care. That's all. I wish you well.
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What if parent dies, is that POA still good over the trust?
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Not power of attorney. That dies with person. Control of trust is in the hands of trustee.
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