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I'm not sure not why you used the phrase, Put mom away. That sounds negative and isn't very accurate if you are referring to placement in a long term care facility. As much as they may be criticized, long care facilities have come a long way and offer much more than ever before in care and activities.

I can't imagine any doctor who would recommend placing a senior who has no health issues, no mobility issues and no mental impairment in a long term care facility, when they are already living in a home with family. I don't get that. What would be the reason?

Are you saying you just don't want the senior in your home, but you acquiesce out of of guilt due to a Bible verse? Maybe I'm just not following it.

To me, it's great that the seniors live with family as long as they are content and physically able. If they aren't, then other options must be explored. It's not out of some disrespect or meanness, but necessity. We honor our parents with our attitude and conduct everyday. And when we place them in a safe environment where they can get the care they need, that's also honoring them, IMO.
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I looked after my bed bound incontinent hemiplegic demented mother at home until she died because that is where she wanted to be and because I had freely made that commitment to her. If God approves, I'm delighted. But that doesn't mean I accept that God would have looked on my visiting my mother regularly in a high quality, well-staffed nursing home as a serious breach of the fifth commandment.

I'm not sure what point your post was meant to make. Are people in fact leaning on you to turf your mother out of her family home? If so, who are they and what is their reasoning? If not, I'm very happy for you and glad that your mother is so well supported by her large and loving family.
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Sometimes honoring a parent is allowing them (assuming a reasonable mental state) to spend their last days with family, even though the care might not be the same. My MIL asked to go to her youngest son's house, where the smog was worse than in my area, because she did not want to live any longer. (We had tried a facility, and she hated to be fussed over by strangers. That lasted a week.) The hospice nurse taught my SIL what she needed, and she had two weeks of peace and slipped away in early morning. As it turned out, I was the one with her. No regrets from any of us.
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I agree with GA, to honour does not necessarily mean you must always obey or sacrifice everything for them, rather you should respectfully consider their needs and opinions when making choices that involve them.

Another assumption you seem to be making is that all long term care/assistive living residents are wallowing in misery and despair. Not true! I think assistive living can be the ideal environment for some people, providing entertainment, companionship with peers and medical oversight all in one package. Long term care can be more problematic as those residents are often suffering from advanced dementia or severe physical disability. Often when our loved ones reach that stage the family can no longer provide appropriate care, it doesn't mean they are being abandoned, just that the role of daily caregiver/companion has changed to one of management and support.
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First, you're making an invalid assumption, i.e., that "putting [your] mother away" is not equivalent to "honoring" her.

Second, I interpret honoring someone as including respect and support. It seems that your extended family are providing support. There's no indication, however, of any details, but for purposes of response I'm going to assume that that support is with love and care by family members.

Third, it's not unusual for "professionals" (and in fact, who ARE these "professionals" - medical ones?) to recommend facility placement. It's easy for them in their professions to believe that multiple medical personnel in a facility can provide more appropriate care than a family. And that's true in many cases.

Fourth, your mother may reach a state in which she needs more medical support than can be provided by the family. What do you feel would be best for her at that point? That's a decision that needs to be made by whoever may be her primary caregiver, medically and legally, and in your case the other participating family members.

HOWEVER, that decision needs to be guided by the medical needs as identified by medical professionals.

Fifth, if your mother at some point needs more care than can be provided in the extended family environment, your obligation in honoring her would I think be best met by providing the care she needs at that time. To deprive her of that would in fact be dishonoring her.

So your interpretation of the religious commandment really turns on how you view "honor" which in the case of an elderly person can evolve and change as the person slides into older age and perhaps more complicated medical problems.
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