Follow
Share
Read More
IL will not help you make friends any easier than where you are living now. You need to get out of the house and find groups of people to mingle with. May I make a few suggestions:
find a grief group like Griefshare to deal with your loss and the changes that losing your spouse has brought,
find a support group for people with arthritis - many local hospitals can point to you a support group - to help you find ways to cope with this disease process,
find a sewing group that meets weekly,
join a local faith community (church, synagogue, mosque) and get involved with a ladies group that meets weekly,
try new hobbies and activities through classes, seminars... through local recreation center, local college, YMCA etc.,
volunteer for a worthy cause at least weekly,
consider getting a part time job - you meet people and make a little money to spend on the other things you enjoy.

FYI - IL is more expensive than just downsizing to a smaller apartment. To consider how big your downsized home should be, start clearing out "extra rooms" and sell or donate the "extra items". Live in the smaller part of your home (kitchen, bedroom, living room...) for several months to make sure the "fit" is right. After this, then sell your home and move someplace smaller - preferably with ADA compliance.
A condo is probably better than renting an apartment - you own the "home" and others do the yardwork and maintain the building. My mom (80s) is doing very well in a ground floor condo in a smaller complex. The association fees are modest. She goes to a local church and helps lead a Bible study. She helps weekly at the food pantry. She has joined the local YMCA using their Silver Sneakers program to do water aerobics. She has made friends with some of her neighbors by walking the neighborhood, gardening, and intentionally inviting some to dinner to to play games.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Taarna
Report

Rent out a room to a caregiver , that”s younger then you that can help you around the house and keep you company , its much harder to get help in an apartment.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Jewels17
Report

Within a year of my FIL passing my MIL decided to move to an independent living facility her mother had been in. She managed 8 rental properties on her block and added her home to make 9. She investigated various rental property managers among other things.
After a year, she got bored at the ILF and informed all her children that she was purchasing a manufactured home in the area and moving there. It was closer to her church and senior community center she was involved in. She made friends in the park, she continued her church activities, she made friends (card playing among other things) at the senior center.
She found ways to make simple meals and applied for meals on wheels. She passed three years after moving into the manufactured home that worked well for her until her cancer returned with a vengence.
My point is that depending on your money situation, a decision today doesn't have to be the end of decision making or life.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to RainbowHeart
Report

I am 71 and fairly healthy, so I’m close to your age. I just moved into an Independent Living Facility last month. I love it! I have made so many friends, and I really enjoy the activities, which are designed to help people socialize. If I need privacy or solitude, I have my own apartment, which is just the right size. Others mentioned just renting an apartment (not age-restricted). My experience doing that was that younger people are always coming and going from their jobs, so although they are friendly, there is not much interaction. I love it here. I have a group I walk with every evening, a Mahjong group, a balance class, and a movie group. There is also a grief group run by a social worker. Visit some places. If you find a good fit, IL is a wonderful lifestyle for those of us who need girlfriends who “get” us.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Cminor
Report

About your upcoming surgeries: You will probably qualify for a Rehab stay after your surgeries to help you regain enough mobility ,to be at home alone. I was in the same situation. After you go home, there my be continued PT and OT in your home for a few weeks until you are able to drive yourself to PT. You can hire housekeeping help if you need to, but you may find you can manage basic tasks by yourself. If you know what your post-surgical limitations will be, prepare ahead of time by having extra food on hand and perhaps buyingor renting adaptive equipment to see you through until you are mobile again. You do not need to cook banquets--you can do plenty with your microwave or stovetop.

As some have suggested, consider attending classes or joining groups via Zoom. Regularly seeing the same faces in Zoom classes and discussion groups makes a lot of people feel less lonely. Check on sites like AARP's Senior Planet. There are exercise classes, discussion groups, technology classes and interest group meetings. Zoom groups that allow a few minutes of socializing before and after class are very welcoming and might help you feel less lonely.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to RedVanAnnie
Report

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter