Follow
Share
Read More
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Your attorney told the hospital that they cannot do that. To put such a patient in the care of another elder is an "unsafe discharge" and this must be emphasized. Thank goodness you go the attorney!

Apparently there are no neuro-psyc units in your area that are rehab Staying as long as he is in hospital is almost unheard of and I wonder how even the hospital is managing without 24/7 sitters. A locked facility is of course a requirement for him. So he needs a whole lot. No facility will want him. He is not currently manageable other than one on one care.

Again, thank goodness for the attorney. If hospital needs a cease and desist on some Social Worker calling to suggest your Mom take your Dad then get that from the attorney.

I am so sorry. This, for your Dad, your Mom and yourself is just a disaster I cannot imagine the exit for. People complain all the time about some seniors being drugged into stupor. Your Dad prove the case of why it happens.

You have done everything right. Esp the attorney. My own personal opinion your Mom should visit every few days for an hour or two only. This could kill her before your dad passes.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
tatsulok Jul 2023
hi there. thank you.

i'd have to get clarification again from my mom.

from what she told me, there's always a sitter in the room, even when my mom is inside.

my stepdad always wishes to go outside and interestingly enough, the staff lets him hang out by the hallway. he does his crossword puzzles there or tries to read a book. but still with someone looking after him.

as for 24/7, im not 100% sure. it was the case manager that told me this yesterday. she said that the nursing home person evaluated him and because he saw that he needed a sitter and he has elopement episodes, he cannot take him.
(1)
Report
I am surprised he has been in a month and no medication has been found to make him sleep. Has he had a Neurological examination?
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
tatsulok Jul 2023
hi there. they do sometimes inject him with something to make him calm down but im not sure if they started give him sleep medication yet. ill have to ask my mom.
(1)
Report
See 1 more reply
Has there been a cognitive/behavioral assessment performed with the goal of beginning medication ?

My LO was a fierce escape risk, but once a compassionate psychiatrist saw her and she was placed on a minimal dose of carefully chosen medication, she became much more like her old self, and began to enjoy her life and visits from us again.

Try a search for “geriatric behavioral psychiatry ”. If you can have him seen, and get a behavioral plan, you’ll have a professional statement about what may be an appropriate placement.

And do NOT allow him to be sent “home”. Be sure someone is with your mother whenever she is seeing hospital personnel. HER safety and welfare are important too!
Helpful Answer (5)
Report
tatsulok Jul 2023
yes thats my plan, i will be accompanying her from now on whenever she goes to the hospital.

if my stepdad gets an appointment with a geriatric behavioral psychiatrist, will he need to leave the hospital for that or will they send a doctor over to his room?

the hospital where he is pretty big so i hope theres a doctor in the building that can just come to him. if he has to leave, they should still be given his room back right?
(1)
Report
See 1 more reply
What the elderlaw attorney told your mother and sister is exactly what we tell people on this site.

I read your other posts -- your mother is only 58 (you are 32), and your stepdad is 30 years older than your mother. !! Your mom has a LOT of years left. She canNOT risk her physical, mental, and emotional health by bringing your stepdad home.

Does she go to visit your stepdad by herself? What is her first language? I wouldn't past the hospital to find someone who speaks her first language to talk to her and try to convince her to take him home. Make sure she knows that the hospital will promise all sorts of things that will NOT happen (they will "help" her find in-home help, they can't find anywhere now but will continue working on that if she takes him home, etc.).

Your mother needs to continue working -- she canNOT give up her life to take care of this man when she needs to plan for her own financial security.

Did she ever get POA? HCPOA?

Please keep us updated.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report
tatsulok Jul 2023
hi there.

she can speak and understand english just fine but every now and then she may not easily find the right words to say. she speaks slowly and softly so there's definitely that tendency for other people to talk over her or interrupt. her first language is filipino.

yes shes already my stepdad's POA. and yes, she does wanna go back to work, she's the most diligent and hardworking person i know and its so unlike her to miss work but because of what happened, she had to take extended time off because just so she could focus getting my stepdad taken into a facility. so that's when she finally got POA, she consulted with an elderly lawyer in person, etc.
(0)
Report
No No No. Mom needs to keep telling the CM she is not able to safely watch and take care of him at home. That is not an option. Let the hospital keep working on this, the hospital wants to get him out as soon as possible, they will keep trying. While they ae in the process of finding a facility, SD is safe where he is.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
tatsulok Jul 2023
hi there.

thanks.

my stepdad is a veteran and i found some va nursing homes in the state where they live, the closest one being is 2 hours away.

when i went to the hospital with my mom yesterday, i got to speak with the case manager. i was told that they're now trying another nursing home facility that does have a secured memory care unit. i told her about the va nursing homes and i asked for her email so i could send her the list.

is it a good idea to help them this way?
(1)
Report
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter