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People with Dementia don't appreciate what is done for them.
They can't reason anymore. You have Mom in a good place. If she chooses to not participate that is her problem. I think u go over and above.
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Rainmom's suggestion for a geriatric psychiatric evaluation is right on target. These professionals can work wonders with persons with such traits.
My SO is an 85-year-old aging narcissist. He acts in ways similar to your mother.
I suggest finding more about narcissists (unfortuately no one has written a book about aging narcissists). I left for the following reasons:
1. I never could please him, no matter what I did.
2. He made me feel bad about myself.
3. He would only compliment me on my cooking, even though I own a dementia care business and recently saved him $30K by showing him that his low-interest mortgage had exorbitant fees, which he did not recognize.
I suggest that you sign up for Quora.com, an online resource that focuses on personality issues. You will find a ton of info. on narcissists.
I found this book helpful to better understand narcissistic behavior,"The Object of My Affection is in My Reflection, Coping with Narcissists." by Rokelle Lerner. Published by Health Communications, Inc. www.hicibooks.com. I purchased mine on Amazon.
If it is within your means, I suggest that you consider discussing your mom with a qualified therapist. If you look for one, I suggest you ask them about their experience in treating persons who have/had a narcissist in their life. If the therapist does not have such experience, keep looking for one who does.
Also, beware that some people will suggest that you should be understanding because your mother is now old. This is a fallacy and a trap that will prevent you from understanding her behavior.
My heart goes out to you and I hope that you and your family can distance yourself from your mother's behavior--remember there is no pleasing her, no matter what you do.
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Amen to the geripsych suggestion. For many of us here, it has been the only affection way of managing our parent's emotional issues.

No amount of reassurance, outings or phone calls helped mom's anxiety. Meds did.
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My mother was very much like yours, Amber. Getting mom into see a geriatric psychiatrist was the single best decision I made regarding moms care and my sanity. The psychiatrist did a complete medication overhaul- stopping some, starting others and in about a month mom was a new woman - and in no way a medicated zombie, I might add. My only regret is that I did not know of this resource much earlier in the journey.
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It does sound stressful, but, what I might do is try to give yourself a break. You may be overloaded. . Limit your visits for awhile, if you sense that it's too much to handle right now. It sounds like you have backup and she's being well cared for. You may just be fatigued. I'd also explore if there is any other ways to distract mother.

Have you checked with the Memory Care unit to see what their schedule is. Do they have activities that are at her level and that engages her. Does she have a problem with a roommate or other resident who is bothering her? Is he in pain? Pain can cause people to act in odd ways.

I'd also talk to her doctor about her mood. Is she anxious, depressed, agitated, etc? Medication provided my LO, who is in MC, with a lot of contentment. She once was very worried, upset, but, the daily medication brought her relief. Perhaps, a Geriatric psychiatrist can evaluate her and help.

After exhausting all remedies, you may still have a person who is not content. And that may be her attitude until she progresses to another level. That's not uncommon. I hope you can take a break, recharge your batteries and/or find a remedy that works.

Also, my theory is to say whatever works.  If nothing you say works with her, then, I might just say nothing.  Just start talking about something else completely.  There are some videos on You Tube by Teepa Snow about managing challenging behavior in people who have dementia. I find those helpful. 
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