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Hi, im currently 17 and have gone though and still are going through something similar. My father is currently suffering from memory loss and back problems He also has blood pressure problems and his legs fill with liquid if he is on them for to long. So i under stand to a lesser degree what you are going through and i will not give you bs about this, it is hell and it never ends. I currently take care of the home, school, and siblings on top of my dad and have no relatives that are close or have the funds to help out. It is a struggle to get through the day without worrying if he will go off driving and will become distracted and crash. Or try to walk around the neighborhood naked. Ive been dealing with things like this for several years. Redressing surgery wounds calling ambulances and seting up doctors apointments. Let me be the first to tell you that this will take over and ruin your life. After four years of doctors saying that if you try this suegery or that medicine it will all get better in a bit has done nothing and i wish you the best of luck but your in this for the long hull and while people migh commend you for your bravery they wont step up when the time comes that tou want a life of your own.
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Do I have some advice? Yes. Call APS and get out of that hellish existence. I think you have PTSD and can't think right any more. She needs far more than you can give and you do not have the right to sacrifice your own life trying to prop her up. Call someone. You are being badly damaged right now, and if it continues....for what purpose?
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Why are old (2 years old) posts showing up in my emails now as if current? I just answered another that was 8 months old before I realized it was not a current issue. Frustrating!
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Shelby -- Stay focused on your future at University of Miami, and listen to the good advice that has been posted here.
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I agree. Over the last couple of months, there seem to be MANY old threads from years ago that show up, because posters don't realize they are very old and not likely relevant anymore. Of course, there may be a good reason to get information from an OLD post, but, it's not that often.

I'm hesitant to say much about site features, since we are now facing lots of new features and I LOVE IT, but, I do wish that the old threads were placed in an ARCHIVE file and actually say ARCHIVE once they are over a year old that is in a brightly colored caption. There needs to be a way to alert people that it's an old situation that happened years ago and the person needing suggestions has likely moved on from that situation. People are thoughtful and spend a lot of time thinking and writing their responses. It seems unfair for them to do all that for something that is no longer relevant.

And how are these old thread found? I never see them unless someone else revives them. WHERE do they find them?
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Old posts show up when you do a search for certain key words. Then the searcher, not looking at the date of the original post, posts on them and there they go up for another round! Just as I sent this one around for another go by posting this.
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You need help 24 hr care for her asap or else you will both have to go to assisted living. Contact Social Services today and let them guide you. Call your school & let them know what's going on. You need help. You have a Dad or siblings?
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I should've also told you previous answer to call 911 and have your Mom taken to hospital for at least 3 nights so she can get transferred to Nursing rehab
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Shelby, you may be thinking CPS or Adult Protective Service are agencies that are out to get your mom in trouble. They are social workers with lots of knowledge of other agencies who might be able to help you. Here is a phone number to call .Illinois Department of Human Services.
800 843 6154. Tell them you need a social worker. They will forward your call to appropriate agency. Now, you must learn to accept help which means you will not be in complete control anymore. I know that sounds scary, but it is necessary.
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PLEASE GO BACK TO SCHOOL!!!! you sound so smart and educated don't let your opportunity to go to college and "be a kid" slip by I can tell you obviously love your mother I have an adult Friend who takes care of her husband he is angry and verbally abusive because he can no longer take care of himself(he became tht way before she married him it was her choice God love her) and you don't deserve the abuse YEA ABUSE DISABLED OR NOT contact someone,anyone do not for the love of God give up your life as young as you are right now go to college get a good job for shits sake pay so.eone on top of what diabilty covers but you are WAAAY too young to have to do what your doing you obviously have a good heart and want to see tht mom gets the best care but at what expense? Seriously
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Have we heard from the original poster, has she ever replied back from a couple of years ago about what happened with this nightmarish situation? Beginning to wonder if it was a fake letter, though there are more horrors in this life than we can dream of.
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I agree these old posts need archived because.when u look at NEWS FEED this old a** post along with others show up mabe an email to the ppl tht run the joint is needed??
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You are a remarkable young person. Wow.

As mature as you sound you should not be forced to grow up in an instant. You have not experienced your own independence yet and here you are with a dependent. Your lack of life experience makes it so much easier to guilt you into doing her bidding. None of this is your fault but you are paying a high price for it. At 15 you are still developing mind & body. You need room to grow and time to have the experiences that shape all of us. The stress that you are under will affect you more in certain areas because you are still developing.

I believe there is a duty to care for our parents but only to the best of our abilities, not our demise.

I feel for your mother who is suffering with an affliction that is not her fault and beyond her control but this situation is also beyond your control. That is the only thing that calling APS says about you. It doesn't mean you don't love her, care about her, worry about her, or want the best for her. You are not selfish or unfeeling. It is quite simply beyond your abilities and control. There's no shame or guilt in that. You tried and are still trying, more than some adults I know. Be proud of that. I think maybe if your mom wasn't suffering she'd be proud of you too.

If you are able to put the same efforts back into your schooling and whatever else your dreams may be, you'll go far. Then you'll be in a position to really help your mom.

Bottom line: call for help now.

Good Luck!
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This thread is 3 years old and the original poster has not returned to update us.
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Which is why I'm wondering if this was a fake letter, or if this poor poster has just packed up and lit out for a better life, lol. I mean. It sounds like the plot of a horror move, and if I were him or her, I would have been outta there the minute I turned 18, if I had nowhere to go until then, no other relatives.
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Im so sorry this has happened to you where are u at if i am close to you i would love to help you .i am also sick i live with two teenage boyd 18 and 20 the 20 year old has a little hate agaist me cause his dad took him from me when he was a baby i tried everything to find him but i couldnt i had my 18 year old to take care of hiss dad was not a dad so i had to raise him me and my 18 has a really good relationship i feel until the 20 year old came into the picture i feel he is trying to put a wedge in between us and he tells at me all the time and i am sick but i still keep the house clean and cook for them but anyway just thought if u need someone to talk to or whatever im here my name is Christina i hope to here back from u i really would like to help.
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I became a caregiver for my terminally ill grandmother at 15. I missed a lot of school and ended up failing that year. My mom had to work and my dad (my grandmother's son) wouldn't care for her. I've been in your shoes, love.
Please take care of yourself. Especially your mental health. I haven't read through the comments to see if there is an update but I'm so sorry you are/were in this situation.
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If you are 15, I am guessing your mom is under the age of 40. Surely her doctor knows the situation and is concerned? If you reach out for help, it may make your mom angry, but you will be doing her the biggest favor you could possibly give her. Be brave. Via con Dios!
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It's not important what your mother wants and expects. Find out who your state senator and representative are and send them the letter you sent us. At that point, if they don't help send a copy to the editor of your newspaper. That should get things started for help. Also call the Alzheimer's Association for your area, tell them your story and they will help 24 hours a day. Your mother is putting you in harms way and it needs to stop. Do you have a church affiliation? Call the minister or priest, Catholic Charities, your school's nurse and counselor. This is abuse and help is available.
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The picture that immediately comes to mind is a picture of young refugees taking care of their infant brothers and sisters. There is always someone worse off than we are.
Something was clearly not right with the original post other wise we would have heard from her again. If she has not come back there is no way we can help her so its leave this thread alone.
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Originally started 3 years ago. The other day, in my AC email, I found an interesting topic. I clicked on it. Read it and was about to comment. Wait. Let me check the date first. Yep, it was an old article/thread. I changed my mind about commenting. I think this is how old threads surface. Someone sees it in their email and taps it, read and then comment... not realizing it was written years ago.
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