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I think it's sad when we lose a loved one, especially if they are younger rather than older when they pass. The natural circle of life is we're born, we live and we die. I like and think it's important to have/keep our memories-this is one way we can honor those who have passed on. I will always miss them, but I can remember all the love, the funny things, the serious talks etc. Our loved ones that pass are not truly gone, they live on forever in our hearts.
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My dear sweet Mom died rather suddenly last May. Her birthday was May 9th. Her death day May 22nd. TThe entire month of May has been especially hard and sad for me. I miss my Mom every single day. I am fortunate that she knew me and was funcuntioning quite well before she suddenly went downhill. But I sure wasn't ready for her to die. A big chunk of my heart died that day and that's just the way it is. :-(
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Mother's Day was kind of hard for me because my real mom died when I was little, and my grandma raised me. She died when I was in college. Now I care for my aunt, who has had 2 strokes and recently broke her hip. I have always considered her as a second mom, so I bought her cards and gifts. But I did get a little bit emotional when, in church, we had our annual Mother's Day ceremony in which we present flowers to all the mothers of the church and the kids (my primary Sunday School class and the older kids) read Bible passages about mothers).
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This was my second Mother's Day w/o my Mom. I also took care of my Mom until she passed away. It was a long couple of years and one of my best accomplishments. The sting of missing her is still with me especially on Holidays, but I also remind myself that I will see her again some day in Heaven. Our mothers would tell us they are grateful for us loving and caring for them in their last years, if they could. I would do it all over again if I had to and give you each encouragement to hang in there.
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I went to see my mom the day before mothers day and brought her flowers and a card. She knows who I am and she knows what mothers day is. I think. Whether or not she does, I have this memory. She is the only mother I have and no one can replace her. Until she is gone, I will do what I can.
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I can totally relate to what ItgirlalwaysON is saying. It seems like every holiday is hard anymore, but especially Mother's Day. My mom has dementia real bad and is also oblivious to what is going on. She doesn't remember who I am most of the time. The day before Mother's Day was hard as I ordered flowers and candy for her to be delivered and she didn't even know they were from me! She knew they were from her daughter but she doesn't realize that I am her daughter! I am just a complete stranger to her anymore! So then she became very tearful and wanted to go home to her Mom and Dad's, and I told her that they had died years ago! Then she got really sad thinking she has no family left to live for, and she has been living with her family right here for 7 months now!

Luckily after we took her out to eat with our daughter and grandson on Mother's Day, she seemed to know who we were and was pretty lucid. We had a very special time and I cherish those special moments! Then yesterday which was the day after Mother's Day she was back to not knowing who I am. She woke up asking for a ride home to her Mom and Dad's and I was a complete stranger to her again. It is so disheartening! I think it would be better at this point just to let her go. It must be hard for her to wake up and not know where she is or who she is living with. It is hard on me too as I hate playing these little cherades having to act like I'm just another caregiver. I've had her yell at me, "No, you are not my daughter!" and "I don't love you anymore!" I know she doesn't mean it, that she doesn't know what she's doing anymore but it is very hurtful. She is not totally gone to me as there are moments of clarity, but I am a stranger to her! I miss our Mother-Daughter relationship so much! That's why Mother's Day can be so difficult. I am just thankful that we had our special moment there on Mother's Day even if it was only for a brief while, and I will hang on to that!
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The day before Mothers Day, my mom (stage 4 lung cancer) begged us to let her die. She was in uncontrollable pain. Mother's day she was so at peace knowing we understood. She will pass soon, but at least she is no longer struggling to live!
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Yes Mother's Day and every holiday for about the past year has been hard. I wouldn't mind jumping through the holiday hoops if she knew any of it was about, but she is oblivious. She is completely lost to me- doesn't know my name or who I am to her. I should appreciate the fact that I still have her, but it's not her. There's a stranger in my house.
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Well, I thought I knew what I was doing. Captain, where is someone logical like you to make some sense of something like this. I didn't expect this.
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It's hard to lose a child, I am so sorry for your loss, Pam. No words can express this deep loss. I lost my brother in February. I decided not to even try to tell Mom. She seems happy to see me, and smiles. Her ALZ is bad, and am afraid she may have a moment of clarity if I tell her....Sorry for your sister too, it is hard.....
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Thanks Pam. I guess you are the only one who understands.
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This was my first Mother's Day without my daughter, who died last June. I focused on the family I have and not the ones who are gone.
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