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I get so scared. I drive and drive all over looking for him. Then to find out from the police he is at home.


I am doing this job for free. I live in his home, I guess you could say that is my pay. There is a lot behind this whole story other than what I am sharing. I don't want to dump all of my problems on you nice people, but I am so worried that I am going to be in trouble for him going on his walking trips. I am his legal caregiver and I do have power of attorney over him, although it's only for purposes of him not going to a nursing home. Thank you for listening to me .



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I don’t understand your post. Are you the person being cared for or the caregiver?

Please tell us your situation more clearly so posters can help you find a solution.
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I think this is being written in 3rd party which is very confusing. If Daniel is the caregiver thats OK. But the info on the client/LO should not be written as from the client saying it.

I would say you need to have key deadbolts installed and you have the key. These may be considered a fire hazard but you should be with your client/LO 24/7 if he has Dementia. Your Police should have GPS divices you can use and they can monitor.

I too would say that this person needs to be placed where he is safe. Someone has gotten APS involved. Its up to them to make sure this person is safe.
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Your profile says that you have dementia and have a female caregiver that is being "harassed" by APS. Then you go onto to say here that you are a caregiver who works for free in exchange for room and board.

You should really get whatever story you're deciding to use straight before setting up a profile and posting about it.

Also, I'll give you a bit of friendly advice because I'm feeling charitable today. I was a caregiver for 25 years and now operate a homecare business.
No one gets "harassed" by APS. They get investigated. If someone in on their radar it's because they are suspect to be.
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My aunt was an escape artist with Alzheimer’s. No matter the locks she could figure out how to get out. There were a number of terrifying wandering episodes in the night. The family finally saw how unsafe the situation had become and she moved to memory care. She was content there for the rest of her life and family could visit and know she wasn’t wandering. Please realize the unsafe position you and your client are in, and consider if it can no longer be managed in a home setting
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Abzu00 Aug 2023
This is my greatest fear, I am so glad my mom never exactly went through that phase at home.

Our family owned a lock company, and my my has been dealing with locks since she was a kid. Couple that with her love for puzzles. I doubt I would have had fun trying to keep her from breaking out.
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I found an article on the web that may be helpful to you

https://seniorsafetyadvice.com/how-do-you-secure-a-door-for-dementia-and-alzheimer-patients/
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The man wanders out for a walk.

Does he get himself safely home?
Can he cross roads safely?
Use money appropriately when out? Manage finding a public toilet of he needed one?
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I really think you answered your own question.... What to do.. "IM DRIVING N DRIVING'.

Yes, you are correct that is not good... That is not acceptable...

THEY ARE KNOWN TO WONDER OFF.... You can warn him... "If you don't follow the rules.. , then you will need to be moved..." Hmmm? next time you wonder like this,,,, I will run out of options, and you will need to be moved to a safer environment." If yo do not cooperate... You will be moved to spot more suitable for you ... and perhaps you will have fun activities too!! social hour, movies, punch, etc.... IT actually may be good... !!!

Start looking at facilities... take tours with the one you are caring for... sometimes they will allow you to have lunch with them so you can taste the food they feed them, etc... make it fun... get a "feel" for how things are run...
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So, For his own safety... Perhaps it would be best for him to be in a lock down facility..... My brother was not... he crossed over lanes of traffic to get to my car that one time.

when he grabbed wife's wallet,... she should have tried calling the police. I did not call the authorities....i printed up a picture of him and gave it to a neighbor on his block... th police finally s[oke with wife... she was UPSET WITH ME? for bringing attention to this situation? He was outside walking for at least 7 hours...

point being... unless you have some kind GPS on him... he should be carefully and lovingly looked at... If you cannot keep an eye on him 24/7, then yo need to get more help, or have him placed in a nice place with people who care like you care and love him.... or put him in day care.... ADULT DAY CARE... take him to the library.. or book store... excursions around and about keep his mind carefully wondering in safe places.... walk him in the park, museum. train musium. airport, beach, birdwatching...botanical gardens, adult day care...
Stimulate his mind some way... Google things to do with elderly in your area.
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better to keep him safe...... literally... lock down place? ya... I know... my brother.. first story...

He was A TUG BOAT CAPTAIN... He freaking rescued 6 people up in san francisco area carcainz stretch.. anyway...... look it up if you feel it's necessary.... Point being... he was recognized in saving peoples lives., keep tankers out of that stretch.. a boat capsized, and water is cold, and one person need immediate medical attention.
going forward... he went from a hero to a man who could not talk... He loved to walk.... walk he did.... one morning his wife calls... my brother walked out with her wallet.....? AND SHE DID NOT CALL THE POLICE..... ???
he was very sick at this point. APHASIA...and an underling brain disorder. rare..
After that he was placed in a lockdown facility to keep him safe ......
my brother walked up tony car in the middle of street... and hoped in. back the he could speak to me.... a bit.... And when he finally realized he was a captive... and had to spend a few hours with mom and me.. at the beauty shop.... he was ok, but not happy.... He chose to jump in !!! He din't know was a beauty day ... :)
That was fun for me... mom.. well she was having fun too... Brother? he laughed... I asked if he wanted his hair dyed... bu he didn't have any ... :)
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BurntCaregiver Aug 2023
@MAYDAY

Maybe your brother's wife didn't call the police because she was hoping he wouldn't come back (if you know what I mean).
Her life couldn't have been easy being responsible for basically and adult-sized, adult-strength toddler.
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Daniel, your profile says that you have dementia and that your caregiver and you are being harassed by APS.

Can you not lock the doors to keep the client from eloping?
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